IF A TREE FALLS IN THE FOREST.....

I'm not sure...does anyone hear it?

I have a little hit meter that tells me how many (if any) people actually read my drivel. The numbers suggest that for me to get 6 days into this event at the Beau Rivage without posting a damn thing it would be somewhat irresponsible of me.

And the amount of information is STACKING UP at an alarming rate.

I hope you all got a chance to check out the BARN and found some humor and helpful/useful information there. This might come as a shock, but the number of candidates at this Biloxi event has been staggeringly low. Now, is that because the field at this event is staggeringly low? Or is it possible that there are just a LOT better players here? Or did all the Donkey's read my last post and decide they didnt want to become my latest 'poster child?' Its a tricky question.

Well, I could easily make this the longest blog entry ever. I mean...EVER. But it is 11:05, the tourney today starts at noon, and for the first time in three days I would actually kind of like to entertain the thought of catching a few hands in the first level.

I will make a ridiculous attempt to summarize. First of all, let me congratulate my buddy Allie Prescott, for taking down a nice chunk of change in a tournament up in Foxwoods. Then to follow that up, our mutual buddy Clint Shafer won the first event at the Beau, which I went out of 40th. Allie's moment to smile though was quickly replaced by a reason to smash all the glassware in his house when John Calipari decided to make the biggest blunder in college coaching history ever by leaving Memphis to go take over the most heavily scrutinized program in the nation...Kentucky. See how long THAT lasts! Allie lives and dies with that team.

Some highlights and lowlights of this week so far. Until I went 0 for 3 in SNGS last night, I was on fire this week. I was 7 for 15 before last night...so now we can make that 7 for 18.

I am having a LOT of fun. I have YET to recieve a penalty. The Villanova 5.5 second left layout made me a LOT of money, or should I say....KEPT ME FROM LOSING a lot of money...while still keeping a bracket alive. I did a full lap of the poker room, followed by a slide into home, and the worm...prompting security to visit the room and see if I needed to be removed. One of the floor supervisors let them know that it "was just Monkey celebrating...nothing to be alarmed about."

In a rush to get to the Beau Rivage...made the slight oversight of allowing my foot to put too much weight on the gas pedal...thus causing my car to accellerate at a speed that the officer found to be quite unacceptable, resulting in a ticket that SHOULD have actually required the Officer to place me in his cruiser and transport me to the local lockup until I posted bail. My shpiel (sic>) and my Florida Sherriffs Association card may have kept me from the latter. I have since slowed down.

The room at the Beau looks awesome. The final table area is impressive. So on the first night I walked in...I decided to try it on for size, sitting in the 8 seat, to which Carol (dealer downstairs) cries out for everyone to hear "Monkey, enjoy it, that will be the only time you get to the Final Table!" Mwwwwaaaahhhh ahhhh ahhhh ahhhhhh. Oh Carol, you are such a cutup.

There are some things that people are very upset about. When you win a satellite they pay you in Tournament buy in chips. Tradionally we are able to use the ones we win to buy into other SNG satellites. Not now. You may only use them for tourney buy ins. A way around that is to stand at the cage when people are buying them and trading them out. I talked to Johnny Groomes about it. He hates it, and knows its hurting the SNG business a little bit, but his hands are tied and he cant do anything about it. In all honesty, its really not THAT big of a deal, as long as people are just a little industrious about it.

A bigger issue (as far as I am concerned) is that the economic doom and gloom has made its mark on the beverage service side. I have made a very loud endorsement of the Beau Rivage and MGM in general for their continued efforts to satisfy the poker playing community's beverage needs, providing us with items like Red Bull, call brand liquors and our favorite shooters. Well, times are tough...and as a result the order came from upstairs to hose us. I mean its bad. NO RED BULL...unless you want to fork out $4 a pop for it. Hey! Just like good 'ol Satan, ahem...I mean...Harrah's. I guess at the last event their beverage cost was RIDICULOUS. Probably didnt help that the waitstafff would load up their trays with Red Bull (their highest cost item in the house per unit) and just stroll around giving them away like it was money. But now we are faced with the bottom of the bucket well brands on everything. And to make it worse, 94% of the waitstaff will acknowledge someone's request for a Absolute Tonic, Crown Ginger, Greygoose Screwdriver, etc etc....by simply saying "Yes Sir" when in fact they are getting Aristocrat Tonic, Black Velvet Ginger etc etc. Its a gross misrepresentation of the product...or a FARCE...whichever word you like the best.

I have to say though...I have been running quite well all week, and having a WHOLE LOTTA FUN, and getting EVERYONE involved with Red Snappers...all while tipping these girls VERY WELL, not just me either, we are all trading out tipping rounds....usually $10 a trip...I know these people are easily making over $100 a night just from me and my little poker posse...and there is a slight chance they may be sneaking us the good stuff. And if not, well, I am just going to choose to pretend that they are because it makes me feel better about myself and life.

I won't bore you too much with poker. In fact, I will make it pretty fast because it is now 11:24 and I still would like to at least play 15 minutes of Level 1.

First tourney....played pretty well. Got no cards. Made it to dinner break. $550 buy in. 204 players. Back from dinner, with 40 left and me holding only 8400 chips, I moved in with Q10d. Ran into JJ. Yikes. He flopped a set, I had open ended. I turned a STRAIGHT! He rivered a boat. OUCH. Done.

Second tourney...on Sunday. I played awesome. Got cards. Extracted great value with them. Mr. Aggressive raises...I flat with AA as I had planned to do if I EVER got AA/KK behind him. Flop comes 2-2-9. He has Q9. He donates 9k to Monkey. I am up to 45K. Then I get K10 donked. Guy min raises. I call in SB with 89d. So does BB. Flop comes 8-8-10. Nice. Check, BB checks. He bets 6000 and leaves 7000. I move in. BB moves in with small stack (holding 38) Donkey calls with his K10. Raul (my new NOT SO FAVORITE DEALER) puts a one-outer (4 seat had the other one) 10 on the river...to cut my stack in half. So no tourney chipleader for me. Later my KK holds up against too all ins with QQ and 99....and I am back about 50K. A while later...dude moves in UNDER THE GUN....17K (blinds of 400/800) with 7d9d. No idea what this guy was thinking...and when I see JJ...and its a fourth of my stack to call...I hate it, but have to. He turns a flush. My hat goes flying. I mean..I should have been chipleader of this thing wire-to-wire.

We play hand for hand for over an hour with 19 left. Then after an hour someone suggests we all pony up for the bubble. What? No! That should have happened AN HOUR AGO...before we killed two levels with this hand for hand crap! A semi-buddy of mine (Gilligan to those who know him) would finally bubble when his set of 8s (hit on the river) loses to the BB with 79 who made a striaght. Bummer dude. We go from 18 down to 10 really fast.

And then we move to....duh duh duhhhhhh...the Final Table, to play and lose one more then break for the night. I draw....seat 8! THe exact place I sat down on when I entered the room on Friday night. Sweet. By this time I was hammered and having quite a lot of fun. I was hovering around 125k in chips also. Couple of big decisions came my way...and I eventually would decide to fold, but not before the guy in the 7 seat annoyed me to the point of putting a $6 bounty on him. He told me I could "wipe my ass with that $6" which I did, indeed do. I offered to let him smell it. He didnt care for that. Z...a buddy from cash games downstairs (and a guy I really like a lot) laughed his ass off....I also tried to get him to take a whiff!

Well, fate would smile on me and frown on the 7 seat. He moves all in for 28k. Maybe it was 35K. Not sure. Blinds were 3k/6k. I look at KQc. It looked pretty. And I felt like it would win...but still...it was a call that would cost me 35% of my stack to make. I was about to seriously fold, when he CALLS CLOCK ON ME! WHAT? Oh...well, in THAT case....I CALL! I had already decided he had a weak ace...which still put him ahead, but gave me a pretty good drawing hand anyway. I was thinking A8 or A9. Well, he turns over A10. I say...."Okay, cool..I was close, I like my hand!" He tells me I'm way behind. Ha! No big deal. I am winning this sir!

NOTHING on the FLOP. He lets out a little cheer. I tell him its coming. Nothing on the turn. He is getting more and more excited....river? Come on now...did anyone doubt me? KING BALL! Monkey wins, you lose, lets call it a night...FINAL TABLE for the MONKEY.....

Hey this is a good place to leave off....leave you guys dangling in suspense...although most of you already know how the next day would go. I just need a good excuse to go get in the shower and hustle my ass back to the Beau!!!! Its now 11:40am and my responsibilities have been somewhat satisfied! Lets go make another Final Table today!!!!!

MONKEY