6 AM!?? Are you kidding me?

I need help. For real. I have major issues.

Wow! There is a shock eh?

Why am I still awake? No idea, but the clock I am on now reminds me of what I was doing in Vegas last year. Not this year, I actually was on a pretty good schedule this year...probably because I was getting deep in almost every tourney and not grinding/drinking my way through one SNG after another till the wee hours.

This is BS. And its not like I'm up grinding away online either. Watching lots of movies. Playing online a little bit. I finally caved in yesterday...as I was watching my balance on Stars plummet to $165 and took the $600 deposit with the $300 earnable bonus. Why not?

Well, I got deep in two MTTS on there. The $5 rebuy, which I was only in for the minimum...FIVE BUCKS. Got in 45 min's late and forgot to do the ADD-on. Whoops. But got a quick triple up. Played pretty tight. Got inside of 200 players (over 4500 played) and you know the drill. Get AA UTG. Limp for 3000, already in the money but short, needing a double up. Get a call, a late raise, and the table's biggest fool goes all in. COOL..as long as the other two dont call, and of course it holds up. Original raiser calls. He has QQ. Douchebucket has KJ offsuit. King on the flop...Jack on the river. Out. $54. Thanks FuckerStars.

Next one? $10 with 2 rebuy and 1 add on. Get deep in that one. I don't remember what happened. A succession of shit storm type things. No real ugly beats or anything. Just lost. Won another $55. Whooopee. Quit playing.

Turned to my newest obsession. ACE COMBAT 6 on XbOX360. Pretty sweet game. Excellent graphics. Keep waiting to see if I am going to get the RAPTOR or the F-35 Lightning after completing a level. I am now stuck on Level 10. I have played it over and over now about 30 freaking times. Don't know what to do. Just can't seem to destroy whatever it is I need to destroy to advance.

Today I finally found 2 hours where it didn't rain. So got the lawn mowed. Which was starting to look like a pasture. I am pretty sure that I was starting to experience heat stroke. Might explain the horrendous headache I've had for the last 12 hours. I think I need to join the gym. When mowing the lawn almost sends you to the hospital, that cannot be good.

Worked on my Football Pools all night. One of them, the NCAA Survivor Pool takes a lot of work. It doesnt run off of a website like my two NFL Survivor Pools, my Confidence Pool, and my three Fantasy Leagues. I should get about 75 in that...so its worth it. Then worked on a spreadsheet for another 3 hours. In between all that I played three SNGs on PokerBasterds. I actually won a SNG tonight. NO bullshit.

Yeah. Now granted, it was a $6.50/45 deal, but hey, I won that fucker! And it felt GOOD. It was one of those deals when we got to about 13 and EVERY good hand held up. I was whacking a player about every other hand. Got 5 handed and I never lost a hand. It was gross. Ship that whopping $84 biotch! While I was playing that I was playing .50/$1.00 Stud Hi/Lo. Now talk about a game where you can REALLY make some money online (granted, if your playing higher limits). Wow! How much worse could these guys have been? Not much. I bought in for $20 and cashed out with $63. Not too bad for only 2 hours.

Been checking out the messages. WOW! Lots of messages. Thanks. Nice to know so many of you read this. I got a hilarious email from a guy who reads this. He didn't post it on here, instead sent it to me at ThePokerMonkey1@aol.com...I asked him for his permission to post it here. Haven't heard back from him. Its really funny.

Thought about going over to New Orleans today, I mean yesterday...whatever...to play their noon tourney at Harrah's. Probably would have too, if I hadn't finally fallen asleep at 5am and not woken up at 2pm! My Gawd!

HEY! CONGRATS TO WILD BILL, our websites ...ugh....I don't know? Editor? Founder? Big Daddy in Charge? I don't know his title. Him and Gene kind of run things...but anyway, Bill and his wife just had a baby. On the day that OUR baby would have been due had we not lost it in February. Kind of ironic I'd say. Well, I'm very happy for those guys.

You gotta be kidding me. I am out on the couch right now, writing this. At 6am. My dog, Mollie, that little bitch...I took her outside at about 2am...and she wouldn't do anything...just walked around. Great. She just walks out here....finds that little spot she likes so much in the living room...and took a shit. Really!??? Unreal. Why does she have to be so friggin cute. Jeezuz. Excuse me for a second please...it smells awful.

Okay. That was fun. Hmmm, saw a comment where the person mentioned the Vick thing. That they couldn't believe that I was 'taking it easy on him.' Look, yes...I LOVE DOGS...you all know that. But at the same time, I think there was a bit of culture blindness that occurred here. Not sure how to explain this without coming off sounding...mmmm racially insensitive. But I will try. I think that whites and blacks typically are just sometimes brought up in different environments. Not necessarily where one is better than the other. Just different. Some things that people do, the whole group or race that they run around with find it acceptable. I can't tell you how many conversations at the poker table in the last few years regarding that topic were two-sided. It was amazing. You would think..."wow, who in their right mind would find that to be okay?" Right? Well, some people just dont think its 'that big of a deal.' I think sometimes, you have to see how the other side lives, or thinks for that matter, before you come to the conclusion in your own heart and mind that 'yea, it WAS unacceptable, it WAS wrong.' I think Mike Vick had to go through that to realize that 'yeah..it was wrong' as were a lot of other things he had been doing his whole life. I spend a lot of time defending myself against people bashing me for things they have NO idea usually what they are talking about. So I guess from that standpoint, I am typically a person who likes to give others either a 2nd chance, or a chance to prove the stereotypes against them wrong. I am willing to believe Vick when he says he is changed. That he will be a better person. Why are people so quick to just say "FUCK YOU VICK, I hope you suffer like the dogs you killed!" Why? What does that do? Does that make anything better? I don't think so.

Anyway, speaking of defending myself. Got a message on Facebook today, someone tells me "Hey Monkey, check out Doyle Brunson's blog...he did a feature called 'Hall of Shame' since they are about to do pokers Hall of Fame pretty soon, and some one left a comment and mentioned you!" So I checked it out, and in fact...they had. Saying something to the tune of "Yeah I think you would have to include that jerk they call Monkey." Wow! I was flattered! So of course I left my own little two cents on there! Of course I did!

So...contemplating going to Oklahoma Win Star to play 'The River' which is a 3 million guarantee tourney with a 2k buy in. Only problem is...they are retarded. They run a $400 Mega, but they run it like three weekends before the tourney. This coming weekend is the last one. How stupid. Unless you live near there. Ever heard of running Megas on Friday and Saturday and then the tourney on Sunday you morons? Uh oh...better be careful what I call these guys up there...don't wanna get myself banned from the Win-Star! Holy shit, I would REALLY have to quit poker then!!! So what I'm saying is...what? Am I gonna drive to Oklahoma, play in a $400 Mega on Saturday...win or lose, doenst matter, I'm coming back here. Then what? Drive all the way back? For a 2k buy in? It really only saved me $1600 by winning in the first place. Pretty stupid. So I don't know about that one.

Heard that I.P. is running the I.P. Classic from Oct 28th to Nov 8th. Hmmm..that kind of cuts into the Venetian event. But I DID win the I.P. 50k guarantee last year on Halloween, which was my first MAJOR out and out victory. Sort of feel compelled to go back and try to defend. But then again, if I play all the Venetian events, I can go for back to back All Around titles. Tough call. I know what Squirrel wants me to do, even though she is STILL barely talking to me because of this recent BS at the Beau Rivage, who BTW still havent responded to any of my emails or phone calls. Whatever. Honestly, I am not losing any sleep over it. Besides, I have a really weird feeling that we are going to get hit by a hurricane. I just hope the Kenny Chesney concert doesnt get cancelled on the 10th.

Talked to my buddy Joe Cutler from New York today. Totally planning on doing Borgatta now. Won't leave though till after the Kenny concert. Get up there in time for the last week of that event. Come home. Chill for about two weeks. Then head to Aruba for 11 days. Come home. Chill again for two weeks. Then IP I guess maybe... Venetian. Lots of poker to play this fall. Pretty much plan on doing nothing in December but watching football, playing video games, and spending time with relatives.

Okay it is now daylight. This is getting really ridiculous. I guess I could get back on track by just staying up. Maybe start playing poker right now. You know who I will be playing against though...fuckin Euros. That might drive me to drink. At 10am? Whoa..a whole new set of problems. Start taking pictures of their Avatars and putting THOSE on here...wonder if Pokerstars would 86 me for doing THAT? "Monkeys Online Barn."

I need a haircut. Bad. I look like I have a bush growing on the top of my neck. Its really sexy.

Brett Favre signed with the Vikings. Hmmm. Sure would like to be a fly in THAT locker room. Sure would like to be at Lambeau field when the Vikings go there to play. Wow, I might have to call my sister in Wisconsin and see if she can get me tickets for that game. Gonna go with 'not likely' on that one.

I'm done talking to you guys.

MONKEY