Tunica...Two Days In.

You know when you sit down to write someone a letter and have NO IDEA how to start?
Thats where I am right now. I just ran a bath....into the largest bath tub I have ever seen in my life. You could put a friggin Elk in that thing. Wish it was a jacuzzi bath, love those, but its not. Oh well. I have 36 pages remaining in my current book, 'Against All Enemies' a book by Richard Clarke about our state of Homeland Security. Great book. Very insightful. That and its 9:30pm, Ive just taken a 4 hour nap, and kind of want to go play some SNGs after pulling an 0 for 2 today. I really need to go hit that tub before it gets cold. But alas, I just read some juicy comments that were left. One of them, is real long...and the guy claims I didn't post his 'last' one. No idea what he is talking about...because I have published ALL except from the guy who was claiming that he was going to show up at the casino, find me...and kill me. Hmmm....wasn't sure I needed to publish THAT one! ;)

Watching that NBC show...cop show, whats it called? Mmmmm the one with Ice Cube, or Ice Tee...not sure which guy it is. Its an episode that mirrors the case with Baby Kayli and her psycho Mom down in Florida. What stupid show. And if Ice whatever it is isnt the worst actor in the history of television please, someone...tell me who is!

Question: How old do you have to get, I mean, specifically, what YEAR? 65? 70? 75? When you suddenly start cruising around with shorts, black socks, and white tennis shoes? Is there ANY way to avoid this phenomena?

This just in: Michael Phelps is still a beast in the swimming pool. Had no idea til this summer that my buddy McLean Karr is his roomate in Baltimore. That bong in the now infamous photo!? McLeans! But not McLean who stuck that damn picture up on the 'World Wide Web!' as Squirrel always likes to refer to it. "Will, did you seriously write that? For everyone on the WORLD WIDE WEB to read!!!???" Always cracks me up. Oh...BTW, when will the talk start about "Michael Phelps HAS to be on steroids!!!!" You know its coming.

Maxim Magazine last month has Joanna Krupa on the cover. She also has a sister, named Marta. They are quite possibly the hottest sisters on the planet. Wow. I might be replacing Heidi Klum on my list of women I would ask Squirrel to bring home!!!!

Okay. Lets get serious. Poker. Got started yesterday pretty slow. Things stayed slow. I was shortstack ALLLLLL day. My first nice double up came with a bit of controversy. A controversy that I am now going to get too deep into. For some various reasons. You, this whole writing a blog thing puts me into a very crazy position sometimes, and the longer I am writing it, the more I am learning what to say, and what NOT to say. Granted, I still say some things I probably shouldn't, but I think I am getting a lot better. With that said, I have an interesting analogy.

I was watching NASCAR the other day. No, this is not a total sidebar. They were talking about Jeremy Mayfield and whats going on with his drug test mess. On that topic, I have no idea if hes guilty or not. Kind of seems like NASCAR is on a witch hunt. But not sure. Heard from someone who knows NASCAR that he was talking Aderol, which seems to have some derivative of a banned substance. If thats the case, wow, bad beat. On the other hand, Mayfield hasnt done shit in quite a few years...so whatever. Here is why I bring this up. THere have been 'characters' in NASCAR who have run into trouble the past few years. They go on suspension. They get called to the trailer. You all know the drill. The fact remains, and they (drivers) all know it...the sport is bigger than the players. The sport will always be there, no matter who is driving the cars. Right? Well, I was kind of thinking about this the other day as it pertains to poker. You see these guys on TV from 4, 5, even 6 years ago...who cashed these TV Final Tables...and you havent seen or heard anything from them since. Remember Dimitri Nobles? He of the gigantic chiplead in the 2006 Main Event who blew up his stack? Know how many career cashes he has/had? TWO! That punk Eric Molina? The skinnny little jerkoff who kept getting into with Gold? That cash was his ONLY cash...ever. Nice. The list of those guys is long. I pull up their names a lot when I see them on TV just to see what kind of accomplishments they have.

Okay, I am getting to the point. It's sort of the opposite of what you are expecting me to say I think. You expect me to say that poker is bigger than the players, right? That's kind of on the right track. But it relates more to the 'powers that be' in this sport. The players, we are the ones who fuel this game. We provide the money. We provide the action. Without us...there is NO game. No, I am talking about the people who think they RUN the game. The casinos. The people who work in the casinos. Dealers, floor people, tourney supervisors. Some of them are amazing. Talented, tolerant, patient...abreast of all the rules and policies. They know how to run a game. They know how to communicate with the players. They are capable of putting on a good event. They care about the players. They go to bat for guys who they know have been screwed. And they go the extra yard to protect the integrity of the game. I know a lot of these 'good guys' in pokers heirarchy. And I know some who aren't so good. The ones who aren't so good, are making me crazy. They are making me start to hate this job. Some of them, I have no idea how they got to the position they are in. Its kind of like when you go to prison, and have to deal with the guard who got the shit kicked out of him his whole childhood and all through high school, and decides to be a prison guard to get revenge on all of those guys who brought him grief. I see a real correlation.

Now to write about those who 'aren't so good' just puts me in jeopardy of some form of a reprisal. As was the case in the Ceasers' Palace/Jim Padulla mess this summer. I am not going to say too much more about that crap. Bottom line was, I was writing about something that was dead on, that ended up forcing them to change their whole structure after 10 days of their event. I was stating the obvious and promoting a product (Venetian) that was worth promoting. It was a great event. Ceasers changed, their numbers got better, and their situation improved. Unfortunately, I made myself a target. And when I made Day Two of a tourney there, and came back (with a nice stack), it was their opportunity to 'get back at me' and thus...booted me for some trumped up BS claiming that I 'threatened another player' the night before. It was BS, everyone who was there KNEW it was BS...and they knew it was BS. Whatever, I let it go. Its all I can do. It will blow over. IT cost me a lot of money. And a shot to play in this years WSOP Main Event. I made it into a positive, playing all the Venetian events, winning a couple of them...and winning their All Around. It was a good summer. Jim may have just done me a favor. Thanks Jim.

So. Why do I say all this? Because, yesterday...Monkey managed to somehow get himself into yet another mess. Here we are...cruising right along...not winning many chips, but at a very fun table. Lots of really nice guys. No real donkey play at my table either. It was very pleasant. It was nice to catch up with a lot of people I hadn't seen all summer. A lot of dealers and floor people too. I was happy to be here. Happy to see everyone. We did not have ONE SINGLE player vs player ugliness at our table all day. Which is pretty amazing. So, at the 600/1200 level, and me sitting on 13,500 chips, a guy riases UTG to 3600. I look down at QQ. Ughhhh good 'ol QQ. Well, I don't much feel like calling 3600 is very smart. And re-raising to 8000 and leaving 5500 isnt too bright. And this guy has already made a few earlier plays where he raised in early position and got caught with some pretty 'tweener' hands like QJ, A9, KJ....so I thought I might be good. So I move all in. It folds back to him...and he starts rubbing his chin. Ah! Perfect. I am good.

So its at this point that I do something I have done many times, in tourneys and in SNG's...and swear on my life, had NO IDEA that it was against the rules. Honestly, had no idea. I offer the guy $20 to call. I NEED a double up!!! And I don't mind risking the suckout by him. Hey, if I lose, I lose, right!??? I had a fun day. Played as well as I could. Its been a good year. No big deal! He can't decide what to do. I make it $30. The table is now laughing, loving this. Someone at the table says..."Do I hear $40!??" Okay, I say...fine...I will make it $40! FINAL OFFER! So he calls! And turns over AJ. And hey, it was about 75% of his stack to call...not a real slick move by him...but hey, their HIS chips, right!?? Well, my QQ holds up. I give him $40 and immediately get called away from the table by the acting Tournament Director, whose name I will withhold. I will leave out all the details that made me very mad. I was given a 1-round penalty for paying this guy. Apparantly, it is considered collusion. Collusion? I found that bizarre. Paying a guy to fold I might understand as collusion. But paying someone to try and whack me? Hmmmm. Well. Ok. Two years ago, at the Beau Rivage...deep in a tourney, I raised UTG with AK. I needed a double up. Folded around to the BB...who was pondering. I paid that guy $100 to put me all in! HE DID! WITH A4! Guess what? He made a wheel! I looked pretty stupid there. It didn't knock me out, it did cripple me...but I came back and cashed that one. Everyone had a good laugh. I paid him the $100. The table told me I was a good sport. Hey, I got what I asked for! Same kind of deal. I had NEVER been told by anyone that this is a penalty, so when I requested, not once...but literally, 8 times, that the Poker Manager for the Casino, who I know very well...be contacted so that I could find out if this was indeed...true, I was told, 'Sure, I'll call him.' On the 8th time when I asked...if "You think you will get around to calling him before my penalty is over..." I was told "Um...probably not!" WTF? I went into a slow burn. But I kept it in check. I waited for my penalty to end...and went back to the table, now seething. Put my iPod on...put on my glasses, and just vanished. The rest of the table...I could tell...were a bit scared now. I made a point to tell the guy I paid $40 that I was NOT mad at him...in any shape or form, and to please not think I am. He was actually a very nice guy. I didn't want him thinking I was being an A-hole. The whole table was pretty much on my side on this deal.

I would later find the Poker Manager that I was looking for, and explained the situation to him..and why I was so upset about it. Not that I was given a penalty. If it was a penalty...FINE...it was a penalty. What I was mad about, was the way I was treated. The way I was completely dismissed. I paid the same price to play this tourney as every player. I would expect the same treatment for EVERY player in a tournament. If that player feels the penalty were unfair and had politely asked to speak to the next person 'up the ladder' and was refused that opportunity, well...I think that is inappropriate. I explained that to the Manager. And while we were talking another player from my table happened upon us to defend me. I didn't know this player. Never met the player. It was coincidental that they walked by. But I did appreciate the player taking up for me. The conversation ended, I went back to my table. With a purpose now.

I would end up sticking around, sticking around...then priced in with 2 left to the money (38) I am sitting there in the BB with 75% of my stack in the BB. Great. Everyone is being friendly and folding to me. Then Mark Wild raises me in the SB. I grimace. Then look down at 2-6 offsuit. Crap. Whatever, I have to call. He has 44. I river a 6. Awesome. I pick up AK a few hands later...go all in, get no action. Now I am healthy enough to cash. Which I end up doing. Whewwww...ten hours not to cash would have really sucked. And cashing in this $330 was good for $750'ish...not too bad. A bit later...in the BB with 10-6 I check a four way limped pot for 2000 each. The flop comes A-10-10! Nice. It checks around. The turn is another 10! Quads. Awesome! I check again...duh. Guy bets 10k. I thought I had 9600 so I just push it all out there. And turn over my hand. I guess we were hand for hand for the next pay level or something and I wasn't supposed to turn my hand over. Oh. Whoops. No big deal, not a penalty or anything. But it turns out he had 10,400 and I had 10,000. So he didn't have to put out the other 400. He had 88. It didn't bother me that he saved his 400. No big deal. I was tickled with the great double up. Yeah...actually that hand happened when we were on the bubble! Now that I remember correctly...so it was VERY huge!

I somehow...it gets hazy...because about now the Red Snappers had started. I had now managed to grow a nice little collection of rail birds too. Most of them my buddies. Even recruited some new ones. The round of snappers went from about 5 all the way to about 12. It was getting fun. I would lose a big race with 77 vs. AK...when the guy flopped two kings. Damn. Then...I got it in with I CANT REMEMBER WHAT...and lost. Out, 20th. Kind of bummed, but still...it was pretty satisfying to cash for $1000 after the day I had. I had gotten AA ONE time all day. On the button. No action behind me. Riased from 100/200 to 425. Both blinds folded. Great. Never got KK. Really got very few cards all day. So it was pretty satisfying.

I went to get my money. I left no tip. And wrote on the paperwork why. I pride myself on the ridiculous amount I usually leave for the floor and the dealers, and while the dealers had NO role in this situation, I had to make a statement the only way I could. It didn't make me happy. I didn't 'get off' doing it. But I was very unhappy with this particular supervisor.

I went and played a SNG. Flop a straight, get two to go all in...and it holds. I have a shitload of chips. Looked like a for sure win. Then everything went to hell, as I could have predicted it would. I went out 4th. Bummer. Played another one. Went out...I don't know 6th maybe. That was it for the night. Decided to wrap it up.

Woke up, got ready for todays $550. Got a little tied up with some things online...and showed up at the end of Level 1. And before I could register I was asked to go into a closed room and speak to the person I had the disagreement with yesterday. I kind of expected a "Hey man, I was maybe a bit out of line..." and some semblance of an appology. Pffft! Wrong. What I got, was a "Hey, I don't know who you think you are, how they did things out at Venetian...but you aren't gonna come in here and start breaking rules, and pissing everyone off, criticizing the players, acting like a child...blah blah blah...that if you don't like it there are a lot of other tourneys you can go play, I don't need you here!" Um.....ribbit! Ribbit, Ribbit!

Thats what I felt like. A frog. Just sitting there. Ribbit. WTF? Ribbbit Ribbbbbbbit. WTF? I was like...in my head..."Am I really hearing this?" I won't be CALLING PEOPLE DONKEYS! Hmmm...never criticized one single player yesterday. Not once. Not real crazy about being wrongly accused. This guy didnt like me trying to go over his head. Hmmm...so its a control/power thing? Look dude, I'm a player, who paid an entry fee, who felt like he wasn't being treated fairly, and simply wanted an explanation from someone I knew to be above him and thought I would hear something different from. It wasn't personal. Why he decided to make it personal...was somewhat baffling. I will go on record as saying that I had issues with this guy in the past....the past being THREE YEARS ago! I went out of my way to patch things up with him. I was proactive in the process. He told me what he expected from me as a player, and I have gone pretty much out of my way to honor those requests. You would think from listeneing to him rant on me that I hadn't done any of them. WOW! I have been here for ONE day...had a LOT of FUN...gotten along with EVERYONE...and I get called into this Principal's office to be reprimanded NOT for what I have done...but for what I MIGHT DO! IF you do this...IF you do that....IF I hear this....IF I hear that....threat threat threat. Wow. Nice. Nothing like being here for one day and having the gauntlet thrown at me for something I haven't even DONE yet. Love that. Walking on egg shells is great isn't it? Pretty sure I was told not to do anything that would be shows of emotion after having done something that requires you to get excited about. Well...after being told the same thing about three times....all while I am missing one hand after another, I asked "Okay...you have told me what you expect from me...several times now, I got it. Are we done now? May I go?" And instead what I get is..."Oh...so you say because we are done that we are done!!!??" Someone? Please? Kill me? How am I going to win this conversation? Oh wait. I am not even TRYING to win. I am just trying to survive it. I basically sat there yesssing him to death on every point just so I could get the hell out of that room. If I had been Sharon Stone, and wearing a skirt...this is about the point in the interrogation where I would have crossed my legs....

Somehow I finally manage to escape the torture dungeon. I get my seat assignment. Sit down...and BOOM! Limps for 100...about 4 of them. And the guy in the SB...makes it 1600. Huh? He gets a call! Oh boy. Here we go. Flop comes Q-8-8. Dude goes all in for 3900. Other guy....'putting him on AK' makes the call...with 77. First guy has KQ offsuit. Oh lord. At least I have Mike "CarWash" on my right. We always have rivetting conversation...and there are about three other good players at the table, so its not a total lost cause. I get AA...raise, get four callers...and take it down on a 6-high flop. I get JJ...flop a set...top set...and win a nice pot. I take 6000 to about 9500. Playing pretty tight. Still setting things up...as I am at a table that won't break forever. 50 minute levels...good tourney to sit there and play smart. Then at 75/150 I have 3 limpers behind and look at 66 on the button. Hmmm..kind of think I can raise here...but then again, I have raised 3 times...with AA/KK and AQ gotten called every time...so I puss out and decide to just call. SB ( the 1600 guy ) calls. 5 ways to the flop. J-8-6...two hearts. Hmmm. Check. First guy bets 600. I raise it to 1850. SB smooth calls. Interesting. Folds to original better. He thinks, then thinks...and goes all in. Gotta be a flush draw. We are in Tunica. They love Flush Draws up here. It should be a club somewhere....'welcome ladies and gentleman...to karaoki night at Flush Draw!!!' The guy to my right calls. He has 97h. Ugh. Open ended striaght flush draw. Yikes. Other guy has the Jack with the flush draw. Turn? 10 of hearts. Great. Drawing dead. Almost a 30k pot too, I would have been Kuhhh-Ruzzzing! But instead, I was out. I told the guy nice hand...and left. Bummer.

No SNGs were running yet. Damn. Well....okay. Walked the halls, ran into Hod (thats really his name) from Rounder Magazine..who invited me to go eat. Did the buffet. Did not get food poisoning. Bonus.

Went to Horseshoe..where they were running a pretty sweet little $150 tourney at 4pm. Started you out with 12,000 chips, 30 minute levels. Not sure if the structure was good or not...because...when we were at 50/100, I called after limping a 350 raise with 6s7s...since 5 others called. Now...the guy right behind me...JUST called the 350. Flop comes K-6-7. The original raiser makes it 1200. Next guy...behind me...smooth calls. No flush draws out there. I make it 4500. The first guy...painstakingly folds, and I immediately think he must have had AK. Turns out...he did. Guess what the other guy had? Yeah...KK. KINGS! Wow. I told him how nice he played it....shook my head...and left, as he had me covered by about 300 chips. I had 15,000 when that happened. Shit! Out of that one!

So I came to my room to take a much needed nap. Then woke up and felt like I needed to seek some therapy that always comes with writing. Back to my original analogy about NASCAR and all that.

I know the rules. And the ones I don't know...and later find out...I adhere to. I always comply when told what to do. Especially when I am told what to do in a courteous fashion. When I am told what to do like a mischievous child...well, I still comply, I just do so in a way that I come away hoping that person slips on a wet floor later on and slips a disc in his/her neck! I am not here to do things to get me banned, kicked out...or labeled a troublemaker. A lot of you think I am simply crazy. That its part of my schtick! Its not! I respect the game of poker. Its my job. And the craziness? It is simply a bi-product of me interacting with fellow human beings, and enjoying it. Having fun. I hear this quote occasionally..."I can hear you all the way across the room!" Hey...when you hear me across the room, it is usually about something TOTALLY having NOTHING to do with poker! The whole....'berating players' thing? I have not been berating players at the tables like I used to say, three years ago. In fact...almost never any more. When you DO hear me berate them...is RIGHT HERE...in this blog! I have gotten a lot better about handling bad beats. About 5 times this summer at the Venetian after taking horrible beats...after playing for 10 to 12 hours...I would simply slither off to a slot machine....away from everyone...not interested in sharing my story...and so whatever that is we do when we are dealing with a bad beat, short of crying! I guess they call it DECOMPRESSING...or just....COMING DOWN.

The point is, I have made a true effort to carry myself as more of a professional then I used to. So when I return from being gone all summer...and on the first day encounter a floor person/supervisor reading me the riot act on all the way I am expected NOT TO ACT while I am here...well, its kind of offensive. I think a lot of people would have lost their effing mind in that conversation. But I didn't. You know why? Because, I think...finally...that I am better than that. I don't HAVE to act that way. I can just sit there and absorb it. Because you know what? I am a poker professional. This is what I do. There will always be a game as long as me and my cohorts exist. The casinos that run/sponsor the tourneys...the people who deal the game...the people who run the floor...the people who plan and organize the tourneys? These are employees. These are people who have been hired to work the games that we make happen. They aren't bigger than the game. Neither am I. Obviously. So...as long as I do what I am supposed to do, NOT do what I am NOT supposed to do...and just keep showing up, and winning tourneys...I don't have anything to worry about. If people who end up in these positions of 'authority' prove to more than just one person that they are incapable of performing the job they have been hired to do...well, then someone will replace them. Right? There will still be a poker game. Some dealers will quit, they will go do something else, maybe move up the ladder, maybe get pregnant and get married. Its a natural evolutionary process. I can't let these people get me too upset anymore. Nope. Just roll with it. Guys with vendettas against players...they are eventually exposed. As long as I don't empower them (i.e. give them ammunition with which to kill me with!) I am okay. Just do my job. Stay outa trouble...and those guys will take care of themselves without my help!

See, I am learning. I think. I think I will take a bath now. Its now 11:10pm. Might get in a SNG or two if I am lucky. Might not. Either way...its no big deal. I feel a lot better now that I have gotten that off my chest. And to the guy who left that verrrrry long comment, I AM going to respond to you. As a matter of fact, if you are in Tunica, I would LOVE to sit down over a beer or something and just talk to you about all that you said. A lot of it was very interesting/compelling...some of it was just way off...and I think its just based on the perception you have of me. Some of it kind of hurt my feelings, and some of it was just damn offensive. But hey, I am very open-minded, and I appreciate you being honest enough to put that all out there. And please....tell me what comment of yours I didn't previously publish. If you are in Tunica...shoot me an email....I'd love to meet you. ThePokerMonkey1@aol.com

To the rest of you...see ya soon!!!!

MONKEY