Hmmmm...is my Phone Broken?

Well, that meeting at the Beau must be running long. Still havent heard a peep back from Ken or anyone else at the Beau Rivage. A guy who plays in my pools called me yesterday. Find out he has known Ken for about 20 years. Wow. Guess he put in a call for me. That was pretty nice.

Regardless of what happens, went ahead and booked a ticket to Atlantic City yesterday to play Borgata. I leave here on the 12th. So even if I do get let back into the Beau, it won't be a real big deal. I will play the Beau...and change my flight if need be, and get up there a bit late. So either way, I WILL BE playing some poker. LIVE poker. This online poker BS is about to make me crazy.

Back 'in the day' I used to play 50 to 60 hours a week online. And I would literally sit on an online bankroll of between $200 and $1000 consistently. Balance would just go up and down, up and down, back and forth. Joke. Waste of time. I don't know how I didn't kill myself. I've only been playing now maybe 15 hours a week. I just find no desire to get on there, because I almost always KNOW how its going to end. I am going to lose with AA to a guy with J5 making 'a move' on me. Over and over and over. There arent enough ugly comments you can type in the chat bar. And when you do, who cares? What does it change? They suck. They know it. They don't care. You just lost...again. With the best hand. The longer I play online, the more hopeless it makes me feel, like I have NO REASON to keep playing poker. Like its not even a game anymore. Like...its...ROULETTE.

But alas, then I go play a live event. And everything changes. Ahhhhhh. Wow, people actually WILL fold. People actually DO respect their chips. People really DON'T want to just ship it with junk every other hand. And wow, there are those physical tells that online doesn't possess. I just LOVE playing live tournaments. To hear people say "That guy sucks at online, he can only play live tourneys," I don't get that. Oh you mean, I am good at poker the way poker was supposed to be played? Wow, what an insult. When I hear someone say "That guy is amazing...he KILLS online!" why am I supposed to respect THAT guy? To me, that means he is utilizing some tool to cheat other players. Because I am sorry, no amount of SKILL is going to make you an ONLINE POKER WIZARD. Cheat software on the other hand? That will make you a true genius.

I made an amazing discovery yesterday. I hadn't used my UB or my Absolute accounts in over 6 months. Well, I am planning on going to Aruba this year...so I thought I may as well try to take a stab at some satellites. Plus a guy who is playing in my Football Pools wanted to pay for his entry through UB. Fair enough. Went to log on. Wouldn't let me in. Hmmm. Tried to log into ABS...same shit. Huh? Noticing I have to call the SAME number. Thats weird. Finally got it resolved. Guess I got locked out due to a lack of play. Wish Stars would do that!!! I may never TRY to get back in! Come to find out...those two sites are the SAME site. They are just operating it on two different platforms. So, where you can be playing on Stars and Full Tilt at the same time...you cannot do that with UB and ABS. Whatever. Played a couple SNG's on UB...holy shit. Pretty sure the players on that site are WORSE than the ones on Stars. Combined with my foray into Full Tilt one day last week...where they are JUST as bad...I frankly HATE online poker. Mainly for what it does to me mentally. As burnt out as I was getting at seeing the same faces at the table, and having to just 'deal' with them...I am now VERY excited to get back to a LIVE game and see actual HUMAN beings making ACTUAL retarded plays...where I can convince myself that 'Yes, I really DID just watch that guy make that play.'

Watched Bristol last night. Mark Martin is so cool. At 50. I really wanted him to win that race. But you see how classy he was in defeat? Very cool. Wish he didn't have to lose to that rat-fuck Kyle Busch. Kid can drive...but what a prick.

Tried something today. Tried reading a few other players' blog. Wow. I kind of think I understand now why...wait, I don't want this to in any way sound conceited...sure hope it doesnt, but I think I understand now why a lot of people ACTUALLY read my blog. I think its because I limit the talk about poker. Question: How many of us 'actual' poker players go looking at someone's blog with 1 of 2 intentions? (1) find out their secret and try to learn about them and their game and/or (2) read it with the intention of sharpening your game through the discovery of witty poker banter? I hope to GOD that not ONE OF YOU reading this just raised your hand!

I am not mentioning any names here. That would be mean. But writing about cash game sessions, and how many big blinds you are in for, what your session 'net' was, the fact that you were multi-tabling with the intent to win back so many buy ins.... blah blah blah? And this new bullshit regarding "The M"??? What the fuck is THAT? I've heard it thrown around at the table a few times. I have had a couple of young jackass punks out in Vegas this summer babbling in jargon that was clearly intended to confound, confuse and/or impress all of the other 'senior' (myself included) players at the table. OMG. Please! KILL ME. Who is logging on, reading this shit, and finding value in it? That is where I am so happy that the world is made up of ALL different kinds of people. Because luckily, there is a wide portion of those I will NEVER have to worry about entering into my social circles. You boys just stay over there in your Dork Farm, K?

Its Sunday. I have to go do yard work again. Then I think that me and Squirrel, along with Gabe and the "Claw" are going to go eat Mexican and have some margaritas somewhere. Maybe get together with everyone at our crib (see how hip I can be? I used the word crib) later and play some big deuce. Sorry if this blog entry was kind of boring. SUE ME!

MONKEY