Welcome to Tunica sir, your room is, uhhhhh...not ready!

Okay! Final post of the month. Blogging from Table 48/seat 8 at Goldstrike at 11;30am. That's right! I am EARLY for a tournament. Figure with this structure I better see every early hand I can!!!

Before I go any further, I would like to thank EVERYONE for reading my blog! In June I had a pretty amazing 4985 hits! Being a guy who likes to beat numbers (made me a good liquor salesman!)I was hell bent on beating that number. Well, winning a couple tourneys will help make people read I guess. So when I looked yesterday we were at around 5200! Nice! Thanks everyone! Even you guys who read just so you can bash me!!!

Uh oh. 7 minutes til kickoff now. Keep gettin interupted by people I haven't seen all summer, I guess its a good thing when they all want to congratulate you for getting married and for having a great summer in Vegas!

So, I leave Biloxi at 6pm last night. I pick up Keith "The Angle" Ezykowich and head for Tunica. Watch 'New in Town' with Renee 'The Anteater' Zellwegger while driving. It was actually very good. Keith fell asleep. Then the snoring started. Cue anxiety attack. Turn up movie volume. Still hearing it. Blood pressure rising. Try the pillow on the face trick. No good. He moves the pillow under his head! Shhhhiitttt!!! Now I'm freaking OUT! Time for drastic measures!

Hmmmmm. What is it that wakes everyone up when they are a sleeping passenger!?? Ahhhh ha! The simulated 'fall asleep drive off the road' move! I pull that move, and IT WORKS! Temporary relief!!! We go there about two other times during the drive. Good lord!

So we arrive. At the Horseshoe, where the 'Angle' has procurred us a suite...allegedly. Who is there to greet us when we pull into Valet/Check in? Let's back up for a second...

Let's pretend like we just pulled into the Venetian. Someone opens your door as soon as you pull in. (Which is usually okay, but eveeeery once in awhile not so much!)They greet you in a friendly manner. "Welcome to Venetian sir! (Or, Mr. Souther if you'd been comin all summer like some of us!)Then you have a dude standing there asking if you have luggage to check. Nope not today sir, but thank you! Then as you approach the front door you see a smiling face and a uniformed staff member holding the door open, wishing you a good day. Why, thank you sir. Ahhhhh, what a great way to start the day! I love Las Vegas!

Time to snap back to reality. Pull into Horseshoe. I see a valet booth. Its empty. No one comes running over. In fact I don't see a single living human being. Its not 4am or anything, hell its 12:15am.

I get out of the car. I immediately get attacked by about 28 mosquitoes. (Memo to self, must wear long sleeves here every day!)Get bit about 9 times!

Finally just lock the car, leave it there and go to get checked in. We are greeted (if you want to call FREE ATTITUDE a greeting) by the very helpful Toenicia. (No, I did not just make that name up to add interest to the story!)

We are informed that our room reservation has been...mmmm for lack of a better term, FUCKING LOST in the system! Awesome. Meanwhile my Pseudo-Buddy Tim Burt is almost to the Final Table of the Stud 8 or Better (he has already WON the Omaha 8 or Better on this trip...nice job Timmmayyyy!) and I would really like to give him a 'mini-sweat' since I promised it on his Facebook update. Or maybe get into a late SNG. Maybe? Nope. Forget all that!

Nope, it took the 'Angle' to start 'angling' and get a host up there before we finally got us a room.

Get to the room. 1508. Their 'nicest room.'Okay, look...how do some people keep their jobs? 20 ft ceilings. Big spacious room. Gorgeous, spacious bathroom. Nice big closet. In the living room there is a nice big flat screen on the wall. Sound good? Sure it does. Til I tell ya the rest...

Wow, as I write this funny shit just keeeeps happening today. We are presently in Level 4 of this $330 donkfest, which started with around 400 players. I'm running very bad but somehow still have 7k in chips. Uh oh Glen 'Ratchet' Banks on my left may be about to depart. Nope. He just doubled up with a flopped set vs 2 pair. Whew! Keep the good player here!!!

Back to the room and employment in the 21st century. So; in the master room, no flat screen on the wall. A freaking 24 inch Zenith with Technicolor! (80's technology term for all you Senior readers out there!) Furniture from an old-folks home. Thermostat with the DIAL! Killer wood paneled cabinets that look like a closet, til ya try to open it! Nope just a goofy lookin, um...not sure. Bathroom sink that doesn't drain. Toilet that won't flush. Art on the wall that looks like a Rorsach (spelling?) Test! You know? The ink blot-pattern test? Nice art! Alright, you get the picture I think, right?

How do people keep their jobs? You have this potenially great hotel room that is about 65% of the way to kickass and then you simply refuse to take it the distance. What happened to people giving 110%!!??

Speaking of 'how do people keep their jobs' these days. Just got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of play, get to the entrance and there are two tall employees standing there...blocking the entrance...SMOKING!!! WTF? Here is the good part. They both look at me like, "what do YOU want, boy!?" And I literally said "um,say guys...hate to break up your smoke break, but ya think I might squeeze by you to use the bathroom!??" The gave me a disgusted look and finally moved. Wow! Only in Tunica.

We just went to Level 5, AKA the level of death. We show 320 remaining. I will predict that by the end of Level 6 (200/400 with 50) we will be down to 180. Every player worth a shit that I've talked to are all saying the same thing. You know what that is. I'm not going to say anything to upset Johnny and Ken Lambert (who just cruised by my table and said 'hi') because I just like them so much and I don't want any bad karma, but doggone I wish they would work with players like myself to make these Goldstrike/Beau Rivage events a GREAT event like Steve Frezer did with me on the Harrah's New Orleans event that everyone just LOVED and can't wait for the next edition of. I don't know what it will take. I would WAY rather see the MGM properties kick the Harrah's properties' butt when it comes to running quality events...but right now Harrah's just seems to be holding the edge. But I'm not giving up on my boys. Hell maybe I need to start a little 'Give us a better structure' petition drive. If they see the actual numbers it might influence them to re-think things. Who knows. Maybe not. What/who am I anyway? A stooopid monkey!

Well this has gotten too long. We have been moved to another room. I'm not tellin you about our terrible Waffle House experience last night. Tunica! The only place in America where you can count on a bad Waffle House experience. Won't tell you about pulling into the gas station and suddenly locking all my doors and fearing for my life as the cars with the $900 frame but the 2k stereo and the 3k lift package with the 2k wheels had me surrounded like a bunch of flesh-devouring piranhas. Um. Okay. That's it. We are now at 200/400. Time to pray and/or start making some pot stealing moves with my 7100 chips.

Nice structure!

Monkey