N.O. did NOT stink this time!

Wow!

I almost can't believe it. A couple of things I can't believe actually.

We arrived in New Orleans to meet our friends in a place I had never seen before, a place called Port of Call. It looked older than both of my Grandparents, who...incidently (incidentally?) are both deceased. But Allie swore by the place, so we went. GPS did a 'bang up' job of finding the place. We ate. We got drunk. We left.

We found Pat O'Briens. Amazingly, we both found parking spots ON THE STREET. Incredible how hot we are running! We found the back porch. This was the first place Squirrel and I came on our first official date, in February of 2002 when we came to see the Super Bowl between NE and STL...and came here and drank Hurricanes. Now we got to sit and watch a different couple giddy and and what Squirrel would later label as 'nauseatingly in love' (but cute) with each other. We would make our way to the piano bar...to watch and make song requests. Honestly...the place was pretty empty, the lady singing wasn't very good...and it was pretty boring. We lasted about an hour.

A little something here. Squirrel gave me shit because I tipped the bartender when I returned the glasses for our 'deposit.' They have this neat little racket that they run at Pat O's. You order a drink. The drink is, say...$6. But you get charged $9. You are being charged for the GLASS. If you decide NOT to take the glass, you can return it to the bar and get your money back. That is what I tipped the girl for, a $1. She called me STUPID. After hearing her reasoning...I am stupid. So...how many people do you think just leave their glasses on the table? And of those...where do those glasses go? I am guessing the bartender over there is also part Buzzard Hawk...waiting to pounce on those glasses...and turn them in, and putting the cash in his/her tip jar. And of those that don't go that route..its just a cash cow for Pat O's...but I'm going to guess Pat O's doesn't see much of that additional revenue. And on busy nights...when you have to push and shove and wait to get those glasses and subsequent 'deposit' back...you KNOW there are some who just say 'screw it' and drop their glasses. And for those who actually KEEP the glasses? Please? $3 for a freaking glass? We all know those glasses probably are being purchased for about .50 cents a unit. Nice racket. Moving on.

We get our deposit money back for our 3rd round and we split. To go check into our hotels and prepare for dinner later. Dinner never happens. We get into our room at The W, they get into theirs at Harrah's and magically, we all decided to crash and call it a night.

The room at The W...wow, I was overstating earlier how nice this place was/is. First, it WASN'T the W in the Quarter, but the one near Harrah's, which I had seen in May when I was here playing the WSOP circuit event. Frank Kassela had a room there, and when I came to see it, wasn't that impressed. First of all, the $30 they want to park your car overnight is a joke. Then they try to make you believe this crap at the front desk when checking you in...."Oh, Mr. Souther, we have given you a complimentary upgrade to the blah blah blah...suite, blah blah blah...." Mmmm....okay, sure you have.

We get to our room. Its tiny, borderline, microscopic. Same room Frank had. King bed (as I had requested), which was actually very comfortable. The bathroom was tiny. And in very tacky style the black wallpaper had taken on too much moisture and was peeling from the wall. Even the two framed pictures in the bathroom had taken on too much moisture and were now warped and starting to do that thing when cardboard gets wet, then dries, then gets wet again...know what I mean? Starts seperating? Looked bad. This place is all about the look of the lobby. Very 'LA' looking with the over-abundance of black everywhere, hardwood floors, spacious lobby area...with ultra-modern furniture. It attempts to carry over into the rooms, with the black-lacquer desk, the flat panel TV and the 'trip to the shrink' couch next to the bed. Its a nice try...but those of us who travel a lot are smart enough to see the 'swing and a miss' about this place.

We wake up the next day, get checked out...and go pick up Allie and Liv and go to Houston's on St. Charles Street. Allie went to Tulane a while back...for 4 years, so he knows this city pretty well. Him and Liv were going on a Swamp Tour later...sounds fun...but Squirrel had to work. Sure it was a fun trip for Liv. I was just happy that it was a very bearable 92 degrees while we were there, the scary people and the bums were low in numbers, and that familiar smell that always seems to be present when I am in Stink City were not very noticeable. It was, shockingly...a nice trip to New Orleans. We left Houstons, and headed for Biloxi. Squirrel left for work...and I....logged on to Pokerstars.

Things would start VERY badly. I quickly lost EVERYTHING I played. I want to say I was 0 for 8, so I will. Then I win a $12/45pp SNG for $154. Nice. Got me back to even on the day. Then get 4th in a $11/27 for a modest $48. Then..in a $12/180...play quite possibly the FASTEST final table EVER...and get heads up with the maniac...him holding a 3 to 1 advantage on me...then I get it to me being up 3 to 1...and just when I think I'm about to win $600...he sucks out on me on the river...flips the advantage...then takes me out with his A3 vs. my A6....3 on the river...and I win $400 instead. Still...a nice little evening session on "the site from Hell!" Then Squirrel got home from work and I shut it down. This is kind of shocking. Since I left Vegas I have run my online account balance from $300 up to over $1000. Not sure what to make of it.

It is now 5:17pm. I am contemplating going to the Beau and playing the nightly $120. Not sure why I am feeling that. What I need to do is sit down, and get my backers' spreadsheet done, emailed to her...and figure out how much I owe her and how much I actually have in my account after all of this summers' achievements.

PREVIOUS KAI LANDRY QUOTE/TEXT DELETED FROM THIS SPOT per request by KAI himself for his own reasons; my apologies for the 'gapping' here.

Okay. For a recap. First of all, I think what may have happened to me on Day 2 of the Main Event at the Venetian was that Kai failed in his duties to give me my Pre-Day 2 Monkey Slam text...which typically had been propelling me to Final Table happiness all summer. For those who do not READ Kai Landry's blog, and have not seen his various Pre-Game 'pep texts' to me and for that matter, mine to him....this will come across to you as the ramblings of a lunatic..which basically is what Kai is, but in a comical way, not a medical one. This is actually very funny shit. Kai won the Main Event up in Tunica, so he is of course reflecting back on happier times. I, on the other hand...have had heaps and heaps of bad luck and misfortune up there at that dung heap on the Mississippi River. I have had numerous cashes, but nothing that has given me that 'tear off all my clothes and dance naked in a cotton field' feeling that Kai must have felt after winning the Main Event up there. Puggy is what he started calling me after my almost 'heads up' battle with Amarillo Slim at the Final Table of the $550 out at Venetian. Slim went out 3rd. Puggy was Puggy Pearson, a great poker player back in the...hell, I don't know? 50's? 60's? No idea. Him and Slim had their share of battles. This text rant from Kai was followed by another one the next morning....

"Um, yeah, that was Ambien-babble. Entirely unnecessary. I'm gonna try to shoot for Tunica around work sometime on a weekday stretch (found out later this means they will NOT let him off for the weekend from the place he works, which really SUCKS for him!) will know more for sure Wednesday. I'm not sure what the rest of that stuff meant exactly. Lots of people seem excited about this tournament."

And that was it. Wow. Kai is definitely living in a Jekyl and Hyde state of mind isnt he? I don't care! I love the guy, and think he is freaking hilarious! I need that insane hilarity in my life to keep me coming back to the poker table. Because the other 93% of those mutants out there just make me want to take razorblades to myself! I have this dream of mine where I go to a tournament or a sit n go, and everyone seated are always the same players....Kai Landry, Allie Prescott, Mike Terril, Joe Cutler, Keith Ezykowich, Liv Boeree, Tiffany Michelle (for the simple purposes of abusing, both in a poker sense and simple clowning), Maurice Hawkins, Bryan Micon, Clint Tolbert, E-Tay (Esther Taylor), Matt Brady, Frank Kassela, Dan Walsh, Brandon Jarrett and/or Brandon Cantu, Claudia Crawford, Heidi Northcott, Jamie Gold (for ALL of us to make fun of and abuse), Charlie "Smoke" Oliver, Joey "Luckbox" Gross...uh oh...looks like we need another table here....Matt Russell, Bryan Lanoix, Rick "Rooster" Rudloff, Kevin O'Leary (who by the way got home to the UK and won some tourney over there yesterday...well done fuckbird!), McLean Karr, Phil Hellmuth (my dream! Someday, its gonna happen, and it WILL BE EPIC!), Russ Bozeman, and maybe his wife Andrea...if she is on at least cocktail number 5, and my boy Steve "Anger" Banger...if he could ever get his Canadien passport issues cleared up! Okay, so thats almost enough for a 3 table SNG or a very small MTT. I probably forgot a couple of guys/gals I would like to see there...but for now, lets just say that if I were to show up for a tourney and 8 of those 30'ish were at my table I would never quit playing poker!

Okay its 5:58pm. I am skipping the Beau Rivage tonight. I am going to work on my backers' spreadsheet and get that done tonight...and probably 'toil some' on Pokerstars! Now..here comes the challenge...hmmm...which box will you click? Which one!!???

I love this new feature. I think there are some who think that EVERYONE who reads their blog is reading it because they LIKE that person. I am not that delusional. I don't know whether I should be flattered that haters read my blog or offended. I think a good shrink would say I am supposed to be flattered. So I will be flattered. I just love it that someone will sit there and read something that takes at LEAST 15 minutes, just so they can click on....'WASTE OF TIME.' It's awesome. I got a hater to waste their time. Hahahahahahahahhaah!!!! On ME!!!!! Thanks! Come again! Please drive through!!!!

Monkey

PS: On another note, I am getting VERRRRY close to breaking last months record of 'hits' on this blog thing. There is a thing where I can check in with the total number of hits, called a hit meter I think...and with 8 days left in the month...we have a shot at crushing last month. Now, I am not sure...does posting a LOT help my chances of breaking it? Or hurt it? Good question. We shall see!