Sunday, Moving day...and Mega Day.

I have just woke up with the biggest kink in my neck.

Where did this come from? I seem to recall in the middle of the night, excuse me...morning...when this occurred. And cursing the bed at this palace of hotel accomodations. Well, unless my level of motivation to move over to Venetian for my final four days in Vegas hadn't been where it needed to be to push me, it is now.

It's 12:30pm. I got in at 6am. The first Mega today is at noon. I called over and Daniel told me they had about 120, expecting about 15o...that the really decent sized one would be at 4pm or even the 8pm one. Due to Bellagio running a Mega today into their big 15k Main Event. Boy would that have been fun to play.

I think the plan will be to get everything loaded up over here...drop off some laundry (again, 3rd time this trip)...drop Mike off at New York, New York where he has fanagled another two free days for himself; thats right, me and 'Destructo' are finalizing our divorce today. Simply put...I needed some alone time. Good kid, had some fun times...but my last four days here are going to be spent 'coming down.'

Then I will play the 4 pm Mega, and if necessary, the 8pm. Hopefully though, I will snap off the 4pm, be in bed by midnight, and show up tomorrow for the Main Event rested and ready to kick some ass. I'm very excited for the Main Event at Venetian since I got screwed out of this years Main Event at the World Series. I expect about 400 players. which would mean a first prize of about half a million. Win that and my 'dream summer' is realized.

It appears that I have clinched the Best All Around player title...which is going to come with a very nice cash prize, as well as a beautiful crystal trophy that the guys showed me yesterday. I had a 10% save with Maurice Hawkins that we both agreed to last week. So he got knocked out yesterday right after the dinner break and decided not to play the Main Event, to get out of town...so I paid him on what we thought the difference would be, only problem is...him and the other guy are going to tie for 2nd place. So I had to give him more than I expected. But now that I think about it...if 1st is 30%, 2nd is 22% and 3rd is 17%...the two of them wouldn't split 22% would they? Wouldnt they split 39%? Well, whatever. I will see him again, if I got the bad end of the deal, I'm sure he will make it up to me later. The guys who work the floor hinted that they thought it would be a 'great idea if I took them all to dinner at a nice steakhouse.' I didn't have to be convinced on that one. I thought it was a great idea! Let these guys spend some time with me away from a poker room, and let me show them all my deep level of appreciation for the hard work they did all summer. I have to say, I had NO idea just how tough their job is, and how much it entails. While I was at those three Final Tables, and when we were on break I would hang out with Gary Hager and observe all the things he was doing while appearing to just be standing around. They all have ear pieces in and are in constant communication with each other. ADHD is, or would be...an incredible thing to have when doing that job. They are required to see EVERYTHING that is going on. And you can't believe how many situations come up that require the ability to respond quickly and in the proper manner. I have to say, they really are on the ball over there.

Friday, the day after my win....pretty much sucked. I should have known when I bought in and drew TABLE 60! I started out pretty good then bit the dust late. But so did Maurice, and that took the pressure off. Then played at Bellagio and took a semi-bad beat there, late as well, and got in around 2am. Woke up on time Saturday and made it down for the $1k, drawing a decent table. Started hot...getting up +3000 pretty quickly. Then sat around card dead for awhile and watching aggressive players push each other around. Always a good time to lay back and let people whack each other. Plus, with the 1 hour blinds, there is no reason to get stupid. There was a really nice field of 401 yesterday, with 1st place being a very robust $119,000. That is just awesome, and I REALLLLY wanted to win a share of that.

Sitting in the BB with 77, 6 players limped in for 200. When the SB made it 1200, it felt like another squeeze play from this guy...so I went ahead and called, sitting on 19,000. I felt as though I only needed to fade big face cards on the flop. One other guy called. the flop came 6-high. He led out for 3500. For some reason, I had myself convinced that I was good...and since he had 10k left after that....I thought he had some fold equity. I raised him to 7500. Other guy folded. He says "Damnit, I KNOW you hit a set, but I can't fold this" which is the funniest thing to hear from another player, especially when you HAVE hit a set. ("I can't fold this, cuz its AA, and its just too pretty!) So he shoves. I can't fold now...and he has AA. Not a problem, I go runner runner for a straight! Sweet. I sit around with 30k for 4 levels til they break our table.

I get moved to Table 44...one of my favorites, great for 'people watching.' I get very few cards. I win a couple hands. Stay around 28k. Then it happens. There are two awful players at the table...well, maybe 4. But these two stand out. The guy in the 9 seat, who looks like Lee Iacocca after he lost his job, gained 100 pounds and joined a bowling league...sat at my table the other day playing horribly for 5 hours before busting out and not making me a victim. I was lucky enough to never get into a pot with him. The other total assclown was in the 10 seat. We shall call him Caterpillar Face...because whatever those two furry things were crawling across his forehead, they seemed to come to life whenever he had to make an important decision. I tried to imagine him in a bank...while going through a loan process, or the doctors office discussing an upcoming surgury. Maybe going to the mound at his Little League game to ponder a pitching change. Those furry creatures on his face..moving up and down...sideways, back and forth...freaking out everyone and anyone he was forced to torment with his scary Caterpillar Face. Wait a second...did I say Little league? Please, no one would EVER let their 12 year old within a 100 yards of this guy. If anything, I would expect Chris Hansen to be trapping him as he came to enjoy cookies with 'Amanda' on that show 'To Catch a Predator.'

His raises were always some stupid amount. He was/is that guy online who likes to raise it from 100/200 to 479. From 200/400 to 1179. You know these jackasses. Am I the only one who wants to smash my laptop when that is going on? So when he raises it from 200/400 to 1125, I call with 66. BB calls. The flop comes K-9-2, rainbow. BB checks. He checks. My pot! I bet out 3400. BB folds. HE calls. Hmmmmm. Turn is a 4. He bets out 2500. What? I've decided NOT to give up on this pot. Because I know he has NONE of that flop, trusting my read here, and it will turn out..I am right. I go and RAISE HIM TO 7500! He tanks. Then flat calls. WTF>? The river is another 4. HE CHECKS! So I do what any good player will do here, I think? I bet 15,000....leaving myself 3500 behind...trying to look incredibly strong and wanting a call. I COMPLETELY expect him to fold....until he doesnt. And here is the funny part. I have 3500 behind, he has about 9000. Why in the HELL would you call 15,000 and not just put me all in? Well, he JUST CALLS....unreal, and turns over 77. Pretty much everyone at the table had the same look on their face that I did. I'm sure in his feeble head he was touting himself for his amazing call. My God, why couldn't I have hit a 6 on the river and destroyed this guys stack? I wanted to puke. Great call pal.

Well, he would pull a very similar play only a couple orbits later, only this time, things didn't work out so well for him. He managed to Pez-dispense all of my chips all over the table in the next hour. Meanwhile, I was orchestrating a nice little comeback, shove stealing the blinds a couple times...then getting a pretty funny call from Frenchy on my left...when....after this Euro raised UTG to 1500, and I shoved for 6800...he flat called, didn't re-raise to isolate...nope, just called. The first guy folded and I turned over 77 to see his AQ offsuit. Nice play dude. Ace queen offsuit. I held, doubled up...and now was right back in the game. With the average at 27,000 I was back up to 14,000. Then I had one of those aggravating sequences where I didn't raise, let others raise...and watched myself make what would have been the nuts twice. I could have been up to about 40k after all that. So when I see A10 UTG I feel like I should be raising. So I do. I get called by MP guy, then when the guy in the SB makes it 8k I have to cut it loose. But the other guy SMOOTH calls 8k! Hilarious. Then folds after the flop bet by 8k guy, who showed JJ. It is ASTOUNDING how many of these players are over-raising late with JJ at this place after tight players are raising UTG. Some of the worst players I have ever seen, but hey...we like them right? Grrrrrrrrrr

So on the next hand, when I am in the BB....Fat Boy in the 9 seat does the same 'ol gum chewing with his front teeth thing he does when he looks down at his hole cards and is about to 'take it up'....and as he makes it 3000 (at 400/800) from cutoff, and I look down at AdKd...I reraise him to 9000, leaving 45oo behind...an if that doesn't look strong enough, I'm unsure of what to do to MAKE IT look strong....so when he makes that stupid face of his and utters those words "I'll put him all in," I'm forced to call and look at his POWERFUL Ace Ten offsuit. Oh boy. The first thing I see is the 7 of diamonds, and before I can start dreaming about flopping a flush and getting back over 30k and above average again...the dealer slides a 10 in there. NO! Really? Come on! Quit rewarding this clown. It holds. And my dreams of going deep in the $1k and making a REAL score before going home...you know, the kind that will allow me to REALLY please my backer, to pay off ALL my bills, to maybe get me and Squirrel our OWN house in Biloxi and out of the rental that the dogs are destroying....to maybe take her on a honeymoon for a week to a place where chips do not live or aspire to live...that all dies when this asshole steals all my chips.

Later I would go to visit some friends at Table 60, which included Jena Delk...hope she survived the TABLE OF DOOM...and there he was...the Fat Clown. "Oh look who it is...beware of this guy everyone!!!!" And you know what he says? "You didn't have enough chips to make me fold!" HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAH! I love how these jokers' brains operate. I didn't have enough chips! If he lost that hand, he would have had 4500 left. So he puts 3000 in on a raise, and cant get away from it for another 11,000! Love it! Um....when I went back over to that table...he would be, ahem, GONE. Of course. Way to make my chips 'do work' you loser.

After that I went to check on Maurice, who was making his last ditch effort to catch me. At one point he had 80k, but claims to have 'donked them all away' and was getting very low. Sitting at his table was Mark, or "Bizzzzzmark" as I have named him....always forget his last name...had a big run in Biloxi at the Beau this spring. Also sitting there was Jamie Gold, all decked out in some 'Maven' crap. Hat, shirt...the whole nine yards. This guy has got to be one of the creepiest looking dudes around. Earlier in the day him and Robert Varkonyi were at the same table, near the rail, so they had a pretty large contingent of rail birds watching them.

Then I run into Kevin O'Leary...that crazy bastard. We talk about what to do. We decide, and I know I said I WOULD NEVER play it again....but the tourney directors think it would be funny if we both played the 7pm DonkFest and sat next to each other. Fine, its only $120...and maybe him and I will have fun. They stick us next to each other, me thankfully on his left! On the first hand I get KJ. I get in without Kevin making it 6x to go like he will do on almost every hand. I flop two pair. Long story short, he gutters a straight on me. BOOM! Next hand...an older guy who we both start calling "Perry Como" because, well...he looks like Perry Como....raises ...I have to call, I have K9! Flop comes K-9-5...but all diamonds. He bets. I raise. He calls. No help on the turn, as in a BOAT....he bets 1000, I call. River 6 of diamonds...ugh. he bets 1k...whatever, I call. Nice flush sir. Shit. I won't bore you with the details of this joke of a tourney. I get down to 2000. Then Como doubles me up with A10 against his (verbally predicted it before he turned it over, shocking all the donkeys at the table) K10....win a couple more pots....start getting a bit of hope...then lose...with....Oh I don't know...oh wait, yes I do, a guy who loved to raise with face cards....raises UTG, I have A8. Me and Kevin both call. SPITE CALL! I flop middle pair. I know its good. Kevin checks, I go all in...doofus calls me with...thats right....overs, AQ....and promptly runner runner flushes me. OUT. Whatever. Have a nice day. Kevin...and his 10k chips, would last about another 20 minutes. I think once I lost, his reason for being there ceased to exist!

I then decide to play a $240 SNG. Ends up having a $20 bounty, a $40 last longer, and a side last longer of $100 with Jim Worth, a guy I've known for a few years. Good player. Well, I experience my most CARD DEAD sit n go of the summer, and when we get to 400/800 and still have EIGHT FREAKING players remaining...and the guy goes all in on the button for 2000 and I look at 9s10s...it looks like AA. Literally one of the BEST hands I got all game. I call. He has KQ. Ick! But I flop a 9. Sweet! Get me to 4200 here and I have a shot to win this thing. Nope. Q on the river. Shit.

Jim tells me about a guy he played with in the WSOP Main Event who has invited him to Tryst, where they have a table. Hmmmm...never been to Tryst. Always kind of wanted to go there. Only four days left here, most likely last weekend. Might as well. Take Mike back to hotel, I shower and change and head back over to Wynn. I meet them at Blush. Its packed. Turns out, the guy he met is friends with the most totally Mafia-looking guys I have ever seen this side of Sopranos. It was both hilarious and kind of scary. I kept my distance from their table. Then, we left...to go to Excess at Encore. Not Tryst. Oh well, whatever. I may have failed to mention when I arrived I was turned away by Valet. No room here sir? Sorry. What? If I give you $10? $20? COME ON! So I have to find the damn parking garage...and walk half a mile to the club. That will come in to play later.

Excess is....well, excessive. Huge. Inside club, outside pool area. Filled with hot women. I do not know how ANYONE lives here and stays married. And whats weird, is I am wearing my wedding ring, which I am very proud of...and it seems to have this magnetic quality. Girls are just coming right up to me...."Hi! How are you!? You're cute!" Huh? I'm looking around for Ashton Kutcher again. Maybe that Richard Greico dick from "Cheaters." Nope! Not falling for it. Are you a hooker? You have to be a hooker!??? I KNOW I'm not cute! I KNOW someone sent you over here! Stop it! Then they tell me they are from UTAH! Huh? I think back to the weird family from Utah that we encountered at the Venetian pool when Squirrel was here. Is everyone from Utah just nuts? Maybe. Well, whatever...I behaved. I spent too much on about 6 drinks total...and at 4:30 am I left the place. But not before I walked by the poker room...and there was that tractor beam...pullllling me in....slowwwwwly.....inttttttto the rooommmmmm.

$1-$3? Yes maam, I will take a seat please. I buy in for $300. I look around the table. I start to laugh to myself, seeing stacks of $125, $200, $80, $400, $240, $140....really? It takes me about 15 minutes to felt three of them. Once with 56h...make a flush against guy with AA. Once with 47, felt a guy with QQ. Once with a staight against, OH BOY...top pair. Its too easy. Its too damn easy! Really? Is this really happening? Am I really dominating a cash game? I get my $300 up to $850. Then they break my table. I get moved to a super-hyper-aggressive table of morons. The average preflop raise is $30. Guy on my left will not shut up. He is convinced he is both (a) the funniest man alive and (b) the greatest poker player on Earth. Then I watch this play. A guy who looks like Borat raises to $25 with AQ and gets called by a guy with 8h9h. The flop comes 7-10-6, two hearts. The absolute nuts with outs to improve. AQ boy bets $50. For some reason, the other guy raises. Weird. But it makes the story better anyway. The next guy....RERAISES HIM! With, ahem....AIR. Makes it $150 more. Well, the other guy, of course goes all in...for another $350! And Borat CALLS! Yea...he calls, with AQ. No pair, no flush draw...just a prayer. And what comes? K on the turn, J on the river....for a bigger straight. The first guy simply laughs. Wow! I think I would have exploded. Literally. I mean....tissue, muscle, brain matter, blood....would have been everywhere. Okay, maybe not muscle...flab, lots of flab. It would have taken hours to clean up the room.

And that is when I did a very smart thing. I walked over to the bureau and picked up two chip racks and loaded up my chips. The guy with the 8h9h started laughing...saying "Dude, I love it, if I just saw that I think I would do the same thing...kudos to you for being smart!" I told him...well, its late anyway, and I have to play a Mega tomorrow, but yeah...you're right, I refuse to do to myself what you just experienced, and by the way...you took that very well! Good night boys! And with that....I left with a $500 profit in a cash game....highly unusual for Senor Monkey, the cash-game player!

Then began THE ODYSSEY! The search for my car. It would take me an hour. I finally got into a cab at Encore and requested a search and rescure mission, which finally resulted in me finding said vehicle. Called Squirrel to let her know my status. Just being a good husband! :) And returned to my lovely hotel...which was still crawling with meathead MMA people. Yeah...the big UFC 100 fight was at Mandalay Bay last night...and this town was FILLED with more muscle than Golds Gym at 6pm. Testosterone City yesterday. I am so glad I wasn't cruising around on the streets of Vegas last night drunk and having just taken 12 bad beats in a row. I would have surely ended up dead, or at the very least...in the hospital. These people frighten me. And the girls who accompany them are...mmm...hard to explain. Gorgeous, yes. Sexy...kind of. Great bodies. Yep. But there is something about them that is just strange. The tatoos all over their bodies? Yeah maybe thats part of it. You just have to ask yourself...what do these people talk about? I can't even imagine, at this stage of my life, trying to meet one of these girls and expect to carry on a meaningful conversation. I am so happy to be married to a woman who is (a) beautiful all the time (b) understands me fully (c) requires very little of my attention to function and (d) laughs at the same things I do and feels the same way I do about most things, and (e) always seems to provide me with pretty decent advice on most things. There is just too much upside to being with a woman for 8 years who has all those things to EVER want to be single and going back to square one. People today just freak me out!

So I guess thats about it. This turned out to be another long-ass blog. Whooops. Meanwhile...the WSOP got down to about 400 players yesterday. Couple of our boys went down...Mark Wild, TK Miles and Matt Brady all got knocked out. My buddy Brent Catalano showed up at Venetian when I was in that disaster of a SNG...to tell me about his 'Day from Hell'...he was battling all day with the same asshole at his table...and when the day ended he had just a few less chips than he started the day with. Hey, at least he is still in there on Day 5. Pretty freaking sweet. I wish him luck! OMG...read all of Kai's blog while I was sitting at my first table yesterday on the first two breaks. Yeah, never got up on either break. Didn't feel like talking to everyone...its such an awkward feeling walking around while everyone tells me "Great job Monkey" "Way to GO!" "How much did you win?" While I like winning...I don't need all that. Is that bad? I was talking to Mike in valet last night when waiting for my car...and when I told him "you know...I think I have major issues. I just won a huge tourney, just locked up Player of the Series...and for some reason, I don't feel happy. I am only thinking about the last two days of losing. That can't be normal! I mean, I was SO happy Thursday night...and yeah, that felt great...but now, not so much. What does that mean?"

He had a pretty good response. I think. Maybe. "Dude, I'm the same way. Thats how we are. Its the compulsive side to us. Its the competitive side to us. We never hold on to the wins very long. We dwell over the losses. Its what keeps us coming back." Pretty succinct. That kind of worries me. I guess if I go home, and realize, hmmm..I have enough in the bank now to assure us of having our bills paid for a year without stressing out....a backer who is happy with me and 100% on board for another year at least, probably then I will find some inner peace, maybe even some happiness. To see my Dogs again, to be with Squirrel, laying together in our confortable bed, with nowhere to be at a specific time...maybe then I will find some happiness. Yeah, I suppose that will be something to smile about! Okay, gotta go win me a Mega Satellite! Talk to you folks later!

:)

MONKEY