The Mega, The Main...and 'Sick'

Tuesday 10:38am.

Laying in my VERY comfortable bed in the Venetian. Backer just called, we talked briefly, she is very excited...a nice change in her voice from, say...March...when I was running SO freaking unlucky. Before the end of the night last night I turned to the right too fast and felt a twinge in my upper back, lovely...and now have a pain in the OTHER side of my body now.

The plan is to go to the gorgeous pool here for a couple hours before we have to be back at 2pm to start Day 2 in the Main Event. Yup. Day 2. Watching Family Feud. Its amazing how stupid some of these people are. I mean....just STUPID. And what's REALLY funny...is how after they give a horrible answer how the rest of their family starts clapping and says to them "Good answer, good answer!!!"

Sunday was Mega Satellite day. I played the 4pm one. Sometime around Level 5...after running bad to start out, and needing a double up...I move all in with A10 suited and run into a pretty nice guy in the BB who I can tell doesn't WANT to call me with KJd, since I just shared a cookie with him that I got when dealer Jenn Chantnicky dropped me off a big tub of them. But he does, and a damn K hits the river and I was out of that one. Oh well, no hard feelings. I left gracefully, $550 poorer, and more frustrated, as the last three days had been miserable, continuing to get beat on the river.

I then went and played a $130 SNG. We would get to 200/400 with 8 left. Again. Once again I would get axed by an Asian lady. The one who looks incredibly like a monkey. And it pains me to say that. Her AQ vs. my 99...and the Q on the river iced me. Ugh. Whatever.

So it was time to play the 8pm Mega. Last chance to avoid having to buy in for the full $5k. This would turn out to be a pretty smooth night. I started good, and managed to maintain an above average stack all night. I got Kristen the massage girl to work on me...for a long time ($$$ zoinks)...but when she was done I felt a lot better. Got 88 to hold up against AK and suddenly had a fat stack, which I manage to keep healthy. 108 started, 10 would win a seat. There would end up being some drama. I got moved to a table with this jackass who's name I do not know...but he seemed to think he was the greatest player on the planet. At one point he tried to imply that I 'wasn't shit' and that he's won 10 times more than I have. I rather enjoy these people now. It feels good when you HAVE won things, and you dont HAVE to even tell them. Instead the rest of the table did. Letting him know that I have won twice at this event, and won the All Around Title. Ha! Suck on that you little assclown. He is this ugly little Indian guy. He would get a massage too. Ordering the girl to rub his face, and scalp and eyes. It was gross just watching. And he was a yacker. An annoying yacker. I was again in my mellow place all night, so sitting in the 1 seat and having to listen to him in the 2 seat, I was ready to stab myself in the ears.

He should have been down to no chips with 20 left to lose. Tight player from Germany raises with KK. This troll calls in the BB with Qc3c. Nice hand idget. Thats right...idget. Not midget. Idget. A word my parents used to use when I was a kid. Maybe I am spelling it wrong, but thats the word. Idgit? Germany flops a set of Kings. Troll boy checks (of course...with nothing) and Germany checks. Turn was nothing, but gave him a gutshot...needing a miracle 10 and ONLY a ten to win. He moves all in...for a SHITLOAD...and Germany insta-calls. Turns over his hand and the whole tables' exuberance is obvious as we are THISCLOSE to getting rid of this moron. Then...it happens. A 10 hits the river. Germany looks like he is going to cry. And the little asshole starts freaking out. We are all in shock. Then he starts crowing about how good he plays. I simply tell him..."You are a donkey dude." He tries to defend his marvelous play. Other players are telling him he's a donkey, too. He doesn't understand why he's a donkey. "Um, joker...when you called the 3x raise with Q3...that is when you became a donkey....duh." About this time he starts putting his hand in my face. I couldn't hear him...all I could focus on was him putting his hand in my face.

Now understand this. I will NEVER, EVER throw a punch in a casino. EVER. I will never get tossed for assaulting a player. But I had just about had enough of this prick. I looked him in the eye, and in a very low voice...said to him, "if you don't get your hand out of my face, I am going to remove it from your arm!" That's when the floor came by to say 'Hi' to us. I won that battle. He was told to shut the hell up. He never did. But I escaped to my iPod and just tried to ignore his stupid ass. Finally we got to 18 and on the re-draw I got away from him.

I will just cut to the chase. I won the MEGA. It was nice to win that again, and save the buy in. We got down at 3:30 am, very late. I got to my room at 4am and only got about 6 hours of sleep before we had to be back to play the Main Event. I actually showed up on time!

The first day was verrrrrry long. We had a pretty good table. Starting with 25k...I managed to pick up a lot of decent hands early. I got up to 28k, then lost a 5k pot when a kid hit a lucky river for aces up vs. my AQ that left kind of a mark. But I was hitting flops, a couple of sets and a flush and I was up to 35k when the average was 27k. I was cruising along. Then something strange happened. I think I must have rivered a straight against this lady, this Asian lady...who must have had flopped a set against me. I had an over pair...88...and the look on her face told me I rivered her. Well, after that she would get into EVERY hand when I either called or raised. Or she would re-raise behind me. She was driving me nuts. This coincided with a conversation over why we were playing with the GRAY 5k chips instead of the RED 5k chips. The gray ones are very hard to use because they are hard to identify. We all decided the reason for it was in case people from the previous days' $1k had maybe thought about 'smuggling' in some red $5k chips, in 'Men the Master-like style.' I had already heard a story from another player the previous day that he was POSITIVE that Men was at his table the day before, and that he was certain that on break he somehow brought an extra red chip into play from somewhere else. Wow. Well, I shared that story with the table.

When they broke our table after dinner break, with me sitting there with about 50k in chips...the Asian lady would end up coming to my NEW table too. After about 20 minutes, one of the other players asks her...."so, is your husband playing over at Bellagio in the $15k?" Yes...she told him he was. Huh? Who is your husband? Guess who her husband is? Tada! Men the Master, of course! Oh jeezuz. So now I'm wondering if she was trying to bust me for talking shit about her man, or...Men. Maybe that reason huh? Oh well, maybe if he wasn't a cheater people wouldn't have to talk about him.

After dinner break I got into my car and drove through a complete shitstorm, with no windshield wipers. In fact, the top was down. I would raise, someone would move all in. Or I would raise, get three callers, hit the FLOP...and still have to fold. I would FOLD A FULL HOUSE.....with 77 I flop Q74. I check, to check raise of course. NO bet. Turn a Q. Nice. Bet out...3200...guy (Nick, a guy I know really well from Tunica) smooth calls. Hmmmm....weird. Jack on the river, I bet out 3500. He raises to 10k more! What? I tank. Ask him if he will show if I fold. Sure. Can't believe I am folding a full house. But I do. He has JJ. OMG. Wow. Thanks dealer. You suck!

I do make one nice hand. Guy raises 4.5x before our table breaks. I have KQs in the BB...and need to get something back. The raise feels like a middle pair, so I think I have two overs. The flop comes A-K-3. I check, he bets light. Feels like a C-bet. So I call. K on the turn. Nice! Unless of course he has AK. I check, he checks. Cool. River, Q. Sweet. I bet light, he calls. He has just an Ace...and proceeds to criticize me for calling with KQ preflop. "Hey man, sorry, bad read by me...your 4x bet was telling me you had like 88/99...." Now, I don't know this guy...but he was completely decked out in Ed Hardy shit. I mean...he had it all. The fucking HAT, the Jacket (totally covered in sparkly shit) the shirt...probably had the watch too, but I couldn't see that. And to top it off those gay white glasses that all those fagboys are wearing. I had NO problem taking his chips. I am getting more and more annoyed with 'poker idiots' and this sets up my next topic of conversation....'SICK'

So its the 3rd break yesterday...and I walk outside, where my plan is to find a quiet little place...sit down, read my book and be left alone. But I am intercepted by some guy I played with 3 weeks ago...who wants to talk about my run of success. Boringggg. Then his buddy comes along. His buddy has his jeans turned up at the bottom, like girls do? Huh? I tried to take a picture, but he wouldn't hold still. I couldn't believe what I was looking at. Not sure if you are picturing this. Where they dont roll them up...but turn them inside out from the bottom, right? And pull them up like 10 to 12 inches. Picturing this? So they kind of look like he is about to go clam digging. Stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen. And then the two break out into this conversation about hands. The first guy acting all interested, and like he is the ultimate poker authority...."Uh huh....right, right. Yep, 3x, yep, three barrelled, re-raised on the backside, blah blah blah...." Oh my God..it was like, hey, lets see if we can use every fucking poker expression we can think of that we have recently picked up on 2+2, Pocket Fives or whatever book we are currently reading and use in this moronic conversation. People like this hang out together, and they have these conversations daily, hourly.....every minute. How are there not more murder/suicides among poker players? There NEEDS to be. I was ready to kill myself listening to these two clowns. And then IT started.....SICK.

Dude...that is SO sick. Dude, this was so sick. Oh my God man....sick. Whoa man...you should have seen this hand, it was so sick. Then I go back to my table, and the kid in the two seat (I'm in the 3 seat) must have used the word SICK as much as my brother uses the word FUCK. It was a verb, a noun, an adjective, a pronoun, adverb and transitive whatever word it is I'm looking for there. SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK. Please....ALL COOL POKER PLAYERS WHO READ MY BLOG.....I'm beggin you....NO MORE USE OF THE WORD SICK....unless you are using it to tell me how SICK you are of hearing people say 'SICK' like I am. Holyyyyy shittttt. And can someone please BOMB the Ed Hardy factory so we can be done with all of that shit while we are at it?

Back to the Main Event. I somehow survived the day. I am sitting on a meager 29k with the average now about 64k and 95 or so players of 260 remaining. 27 will cash. Its only $6000 and some change to cash. But first is a mighty deliscious $377k. Wow, I could (a) pay off all my debt (b) buy a house in BOTH Biloxi and VEGAS...and (c) send my backer into orbit! But I am going to HAVE to catch a nice run of cards today, and hope for a good redraw when I go back. We get totally new seats/table assignments. Last nights last table was a nightmare...a table full of HUGE stacks. Makes you feel EVEN smaller when you're on a table like that. Darryl Fish pulled quite the move on the last hand of the night. I was on the button with AcQc. UTG limps for 1k. Fish calls 1k. Another guy calls 1k. I am thinking of moving all in. But damn...I have 29k...and to move all in there to win just 6k seems pretty stupid...especially if someone is limping in with AA or KK. So I just call. The BB....who is actually pretty tight....raises to 6500. Shit. UTG folds. And then Fish jams all in for 32k. Dammit. I am 89% sure that this is a total move by fish to take down a nice 10k pot to end the night. Not positive, but almost positive. I have to fold. BB folds and shows AK. Probably a good fold on my part. At least I went to bed still having chips and a chance.

So...there we are. Needing a double up. Again. Every tourney I have final tabled this trip I have done so after being in this situation, so I am kind of welcoming this spot. No one expects me to do much. I am glad I made it to Day 2. Kind of feel like when you win a couple of tourneys and the All Around it would look bad to leave early. I don't know when I get my trophy and my cash. Not sure if they are going to do some kind of embarrassing presentation...or if they are just going to give me the cash and the bling. I'm rooting for the second scenario. Either way...win or lose today, I will be leaving Las Vegas with a big smile on my face and a totally reduced level of stress that I drove out here with. It's going to be a very pleasant drive home, I know that. Maybe I will stop by Austin, Texas and find that jackass who caused that whole mess at Ceasers and find me some satisfaction!

For now though, I am going to go find the pool, pick up some rays...then go back to my tiny chip stack and look for some magic!

MONKEY