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Sunday, August 14, 2011

OOOOPS! Topic just switched. We have a Monkey Assassin!!!!

Boy oh boy oh boy. Today's blog was going to be titled "Why Must All Club Bouncers Be Such Total Assholes?" And I will still probably touch on that...especially since I have some fun pictures to support the stories from last night. But hold the phone...after going on a food run for my delightful wife, I logged on to Facebook, and found a post from one of my friends on there asking me "who this guy is and what you did to piss him off?"

Huh? And I clicked on it. And what I saw was...well, not totally unexpected. I mentioned Anthony Howe's name on here a few weeks ago, and not in a bad way at all. 

[for those of you who do not read EVERY one of my blogs (what is WRONG with you!!!???) here, in its entirety, from the 7/23/2011 entry is EXACTLY what I wrote about this fella]

Lets move on. About four months ago I was 'friended' by a guy named Anthony Howe on Facebook. Since then, I have been entered into a group called by 'Poker's Elite Secret Society' by him. It seems like every day there are 10-15 messages coming my way from this cult. Some, I have heard of, others...nope. He has a blog...called Poker Talk Matters. I am absolutely flummoxed by this guy. I look up his stats on Cardplayer. Zilch. Yet he qualifies himself as a professional poker player who has been grinding for over ten years now. His wife even serves up a testimonial that he has 'paid his poker dues.' I asked where those dues are collected, how much they are, and if I can pay them myself to close the book on that irritating task?

Don't get me wrong. I am not here to bash Anthony. He has never said a bad word to or about me. I just don't get it. I couldn't be more confused. I've read his blog. Lets imagine you build spaceships for a living. And some guy asked you to join his group called "Shoot For the Stars...let me Show You How!" so you could learn about becoming an aeronautical engineer. You with me? And on the second entry...he talked about the times required to turn the rubberband to achieve liftoff? How would you react to that? Poker's Elite Secret Society? Is there a handshake? A password? Are there events where we show up in masks and the women get naked and eat food off of each other?

Say what you will about him and his....enterprise? A lot of people seem to be falling into his web. And he appears to branching out into other areas...including podcasts. It makes me wonder if I am missing the boat on how to make a buck in poker. Clearly, just showing up and taking a swing at multi-million dollar prize pools isn't paying off, or...from what I can see, necessary. This guy might just be a mad genius.

But he took it the wrong way. I then messaged him back what I meant, he said he misunderstood, I wished him well in his endeavors, he did the same...and that was the end of it. Or was it? Whooops, guess not. Now...the conspiracy theorist in me thinks this guy is pulling an angle shoot here. Trying to character snipe me, knowing I have a relatively huge following on my blog, despite NOT being a household name in the mainstream poker society. Hey...I'm not a big TV pro, and I know that. We all do. I take my little wins here and there, and make enough to pay the bills. Am I hungry for the big six-figure score that will allow me to step back away from my ridiculously busy travel schedule for tourneys? And to make some money (potentially) away from the felt? Hell yes I am. I think we ALL are. I've been close...numerous times, but the breaks just haven't gone my way at crunch time. Nothing you can do about that but deal with it without losing your mind.

Ah...but here comes Anthony, openly torching me on his blockbuster Blog called 'Poker Talk Matters.' Now...I kind of think, in the back of my mind that this guy is using me. Yep...using me. Taking an open shot at me to 'stir up the masses' and get them to his site. Why? No fucking clue. All I know is...three days ago, this guy pops up on Facebook, and asks me if he could get me to appear on his radio show...or podcast...or whatever it is. And, for the record, this is the FIRST time he has every asked me about this.

Granted, I have had a pretty shitty year thus far, and my confidence level on going on ANYTHING to talk about myself or my success is at an all-time my ambivalence about doing something like a radio show is at an all-time high...unless they could tell me they were having me on for some reason that didn't necessarily pertain to poker and poker results. And the last thing I want to do is go sit and talk about hand play and shit like that.

So how did I respond? I simply told him I would give it some thought and get back to him. He gave me his number...and I promised to call him when I got a chance. Which I would. That was Thursday I think. Well...Friday was chock full of errands, and my wife is off on the weekends, and we have been going 99mph all weekend. So today, when I see him bashing me in this post, which incidentally he posted YESTERDAY....nice patience there Anthony, what? Two days of waiting was just too long???...I didn't exactly know how to respond. But I did anyway...on his comment space, which I suspect he will NEVER choose to publish (yes, on Blogger we have the option of approving and/or rejecting comments that come into us). Lets see if I am able to post his shit here....

Saturday, August 13, 2011

The guy they call "THE POKER MONKEY"

This post will be about something I usually never do, and that is talk smack about my fellow human beings. But in this post I consider this human being to be well, just an asshole in general. This guy Will Souther otherwise known as the "The Poker Monkey" has the gall to call me out as promoting that I am a professional poker player, Ha Ha....Let me show you his stats. This is courtesy of For this we will try the old click here method.
Now this is a guy who makes fun of somebody saying they are a professional poker player. It says in the bio above that he has been playing since 2003. Well let me tell all of you if this is all I have made in 8 years of playing poker "I WOULD QUIT".

Awhile back he did a post that involved subject matter that really was uncalled for. He involved in this post mentioning my wife, this is something that really pissed me off. This momma's boy talking smack about me and my wife. Now it don't bother me one bit for him to say his peace about anything he wants to say about me but involving my wife in his f**king blog? I only wish this wanna be momma's boy would meet me face to face and I will leave it at that "if you know what I mean".

Another thing about this guy is all he can seem to write about in his blog are irrelevant things and making fun of unfortunate people, seems to be a hobby of his, all he seems to do is find negative things to write about. Now I don't know about you people but negativity and making fun of people is not my cup of tea. I invited him on our radio broadcast and every time I asked him to come on as a guest he finds some kind of reason he can't make it, seems fishy huh? I thought so also.

Well Mr. mommas boy I issue this offer once again now that the public knows about it how can you turn it down now? Anyway the point to all this is if your gonna write something keep it wise, where you don't make fun of other people or involve their wives or family.

And another thing monkey if I could not beat you in poker I would give up on the game for life and that's a promise. You seem to think that a person has to be listed in a magazine or on the internet in order to be a professional. You are nothing but a piss pore excuse for a human being, I see you posing in pictures, craning your neck just to be seen in pictures with famous people. Why don't you do us all a favor and go blow your f**king brains out!!!

-There you go-


Okay, did post. Wonderful. I have to say, that picture sure does look a lot like me doesn't it? Pretty sure all of us online poker players have seen that stupid photo on at least 97 players' avatars, right? I can't help but point out the idiocy in some of his statements. I think my favorite is him calling me a 'Mamma's Boy' and in the very next paragraph following that up with calling me a 'Wanna-be Mamma's Boy!' First of all, I am not sure what a wanna-be mamma's boy would be, exactly. I mean...I would think you either ARE or you AREN'T, right? Do guys actually ASPIRE to be Mamma's Boys? Stupid. So...keeping you from the suspense, here was my response on his comment board to this, ahem...gentleman.

Nice post Anthony. Nice picture too. I struggle to find the similarity. This is the same Anthony, right? Who read my post about him, responded with a hurtful reply, heard my explanation...then said you understand? Involving your wife? Really? Seriously?Come on buddy. Your wife posted to EVERYONE that "Anthony has paid his poker dues, etc etc" and that we should ALL give him our respect and admiration like she does...and I simply replied, verbatim "Please tell me what the dues are and where I can go pay mine!???" That...sir, is called humor. How that would be considered offensive towards your beyond me. But okay, I'm a total asshole. But I'm going to go with....Anthony reaching...reacccccccchhhing big time.

My career winnings post? Well that is PokerPages. IF you look under CardPlayer they are a little more precise, and the number is closer to $545,000. Understand that ONLY includes tourneys that for the most part are OVER $200 and/or have more than 60 players. You have NO IDEA (nor do I without consulting with my ledger books) how many nightly tourneys and daily tourneys Ive cashed/won in 6 years. And I'm not sure where you are getting 'playing as a pro since 2003.' I didn't even START playing poker until late 2003, and quit my last job in 2005 to play full time.

Just three days popped up on my Facebook and asked me to appear on your radio show/podcast (not sure which it is) and I asked you for a few details. You left your phone number...told me to call you when I got a chance, I agreed to do so. I have had a very busy weekend with my wife..who is OFF on the weekends, and sorry, didn't have a chance to get back to you yet. SO, I guess that TOO makes me an asshole.

Craning my neck to get into photos with famous people? Huh? WTF are talking about? ONE example please? Just one....ONE...and I will take the grenade. And btw...what in your world constitutes 'famous' people? Just so you know...there is not ONE SINGLE poker player on the planet who I would ever approach as a 'fan.' Autographs? Pictures? Why? Sorry bud, I'm not your guy. That accusation is purely commical, and anyone who knows me (like you DON'T) who is reading this is laughing their asses off at you. I AVOID cameras. No idea what you are smoking to come up with some of these 'slams' Anthony.

I literally have NO IDEA who you are. If you walked by me, I would never recognize you. You are telling me to do us all a favor and blow my fucking brains out? Who (that is stable) says that? Other than Chad Burns? Who pretty much tells that to anyone who disagrees with him about anything. I hate to break it to you...but anyone that even resembles a rational thinking human who reads that on your blog is sure to dismiss you as a kook after reading THAT. Nice credibility builder there chief.

Mamma's Boy? Huh? How did I earn that label? Yeah, you apparently reallllllly have a deep understanding of how my life has progressed with my Mother and Father as figures in my life. you don't. Who are you? I moved out...from MY MOM...when I was 16 because she went NUTS...and didn't talk to her...AT ALL for 8 years. We finally patched up our relationship, and now are very good friends, only recently. Mammas boy? Okay, good read. And hold I Mamma's Boy? Or a Wanna-Be-Mamma's Boy? Make up your mind!

"All he seems to be able to blog about are irrelevant matters to poker." Yep. You are CORRECT SIR! You know why? Well, if I am getting 8000-10,000 hits a month, that alone should answer your question...but I will go ahead and share it with you...'guy who likes to discuss matters on his blog that we all were dealing with as players when we were about 3 months into our poker career'....NO ONE FUCKING CARES to sit down and read a poker players blog and listen to him blab on and on about POKER! Oh and criticizing me for 'making fun' of people on my blog? Guess what? In poker (look in mirror) there happens to be a LOT of people who give us shit to make fun of. And me, and a very large percentage of my peer to focus on these things, and share them with each other? Why? I think because it helps us deal with the fucked up everyday mental stress of playing poker for a living.  But like that statement "after ten minutes at the table if you can't figure out who the fish is, you are the fish" you probably don't understand that line of thinking.

They read my blog because the shit I talk about FUNNY! And intelligent, and topical, as it RELATES to poker. And the assclowns who trot out to 'try' and play our game. I don't discuss poker (very often) because poker talk? Is fucking B-O-R-I-N-G man!!! Poker talk matters? really, REALLY doesn't. It's the shit that makes R-E-A-L poker players want to fucking shoot themselves.

Mr Howe: I don't go around bragging about being a great player. Never have. Anyone who REALLY KNOWS ME..and doesn't just know OF ME knows that. Your attempts to use my image and my likeness to further yourself...which is, I'm pretty sure, what you are doing a desperate cry for the spotlight. But what it is...and I'm sure will be crystal clear to everyone and everyone with a shred of common sense is truly pathetic, and between you and I? Just painful and sad.

I read this....and I'm not going to didn't even kickstart my mental gearshift into retaliatory mode. I just shook my head, and thought to myself..."Wow, this guy is disturbed, I feel sorry for the poor guy."

I have nothing derogatory to say about you. You are totally irrelevant in my world. Bashing you in return would do nothing to further my life, my career or my cause.

Take care and good luck in whatever the hell it is you are trying to accomplish.

Will 'Monkey' Souther

Okay...yeah, whatever. I guess I am no longer giving this guy the benefit of the doubt. It almost comes off as a sad attempt to 'challenge' me to come on his radio show, doesn't it? It's just confusing, as is he. Read his it, I 'challenge you' folks...I think you will come away from it asking yourself..."what the hell was that?" I know I well as a few of my very articulate and intelligent fellow bloggers and poker player friends. If you do NOT have that reaction? Well, phewww...jeezus, I think its time for you to QUIT reading my blog!!!

Okay...I'm going to cover why bouncers are assholes and why new restaurants need to focus on providing good service when they are in the first couple months of business...yeah, our weekend experience...but for now, I am going to watch the Country Music awards with my wife, and enjoy a quiet Sunday night.

Bye Bye.



Anthony Howe said...

I see you left out the part about you making fun of unfortunate people, and even dead people. Figured you would, lol.

Anonymous said...

How do you attract these weird mthrfkrs? First, you have a delusional munchkin from Houston attacking you like a starving leech, and now this freak from internet poker/facebook land attempting to bust your balls. If it wasn't so funny, would be sad.

Message to all trolls and freakazoids: Get off Monkey's nutz... jealousy is a bitch.
Try attacking Kai, and see what is unleashed; he would probably hunt you sub-humans down, and prepare a Hannibal Lecter style gourmet meal with your livers.

Poker Monkey said...

Find help Anthony. Do it immediately, before we have to read about some bizarre story on the news out of Fort Smith. And hey...cute how you and 'Lee' who is supposedly your brother, both have poker blogs...both lame...and all of his posts have been made by 'Anthony Howe.' Hmmm....Iceman wouldnt happen to also be....YOU would it???? Mysterious!!!