Stacking Chips in Tunica

Wednesday 7:30am.

Laying in bed in my kick-ass Penthouse Suite...not sure why I am awake. Went to sleep at about 1am, looking forward to another full night of sleep, in my attempts to eradicate the dark circles from under my eyes, and I wake up for some damn reason at 7am, and can't fall back to sleep.

[quick note. I have discovered how to post my own content. And in doing so, you enter it into this Blog editor, which does NOT have spell check, which I have become very dependant on...so when you spot grammatical errors in this, I would ask you to be nice and non-critical, when it comes to dropping apostrophes, that is just me being lazy! I know that aren't is aren't. And the occasional THEIR instead of They're will occur!]

My first conscious thought of the day is this one. When did people become SO lazy that now they can't even phonetically sound out the name of something? All of sudden, everything has to be abbreviated? It started innocently enough. Imperial Palace? Too long, I guess. We will call it I.P. Treasure Island in Las Vegas? Too wordy. Make that T.I.! But then it got even more ridiculous. Headline News? That one has been around for quite awhile, yeah? Takes too much time though...so from now on we will brand it HLN! But this one has to be the best, as I am watching Good Morning America with half the crew reporting live from the Amazon, in what is actually kind of a cool report, until the cheeseball studio host and Robin Roberts (didn't she used to do sports?) start bantering back and forth with their "Me Tarzan, you Jane" drivel while the other lady is somewhere in the snow making snow angels and laughing like she is drunk. Huh? Well, that show? We are now calling it GMA! Yeah..GEE FREAKING EM AYYY! That's it! From now on, I will be known as TPM. THE POKER MONKEY is no more! T P M!

Brandon has turned our condo/penthouse/hotel room into a community meeting place. I am afraid to see our final bill. Room service bill is getting out of control. Brandon met me in the lobby, me going from our room back to the tourney following my dinner break, him going in the other direction mumbling something to the effect of "I may never cash another tourney again." Oh boy.

Today's news is very extreme. The stock market rebounded huge yesterday, going up some 379 points. That's encouraging. Meanwhile, some dude shoots and kills most of his family and several other random people before blowing himself away. The worst part was killing his Mom, and ALL HER DOGS! Before burning down her house. Poor dogs. What could THEY have done? Then some guy over in Germany does the same thing! Final tally? 15 bite the dust. He gets popped by cops. So my question is this? These two clowns should both arrive in Hell about the same time...how does Hell work I wonder? The more heinous their acts, do they get better or worse treatment from Senor Devil? Does one have to wait behind the other? Do the people you killed (and the dogs) get to torment them somewhere in a virtual 'holding cell' before they go to heaven? That would seem fair to me.

Anyone want to hear about poker? Lets see where I left off. Guess we left off with Saturday nights final table/chop in the 2nd chance. Then Sundays mid-tourney departure at the hands of Amanda. Monday was the $340 Deepstacks tourney, which had 238 players. 18 made the money. I had a nice little run going. I never got a LOT of chips. Hovered below the average. Made the dinner break. In fact, on the final hand before dinner I get AA with the blinds 1200/2400 UTG. Hmmm...I only had 9600 going into the hand and REALLY needed a double up. Wasn't going to limp. But also didn't want to raise big. So I make it 5000. No one bites, but the BB completes for another 2600. Flop comes J-3-8. He checks, I bet 5000. He leaves. Ugh. Oh well.

Come back from dinner with 41 players left. Then I go on my run. Getting low, I jam it in with A9...and again, run into AK. Dammit! But this time I flop a 9 and it holds. Sweet. A little bit later, its AJ UTG....blinds are huge...1500/3000 and I have 21k...raise to 9K? and leave 11K? Limp? Fold? Screw it...ALL IN! OH NO! I run into AK again. No way I can bust that hand again, can I? Why not! Jack on the flop and it holds...and now I have 32K! Starting to feel destined now to final table this thing. At LEAST cash!

Then I pull the bonehead move. Folded around in the SB I look down at A7. I have the BB covered by 12k. I move in. "I'll go ahead and call" says the BB. HUH!!!!!???? He turns over AQ. OH HELL! It holds, and now I am back to being short on chips. Dammit!

Forgot to mention...along the way, Amanda showed up. When she arrived (because I documented her presence and all my hands while she was there!) I had 23,000 chips. I got down to 18,000 before winning a big pot for 17K (that I had to totally bluff, ME A10, other guy AQ, flop K-Q-8....HEY! I had a gutshot!). When she left I had around 40K. She was off the hook!

We are now down to 30. I am down to 8000 chips and needing help, and quick. Help arrives with the always exciting AK in my hand at cutoff. I move in and announce that I would LIKE a call! Which, honestly, I would! I get the call from the BB, who is holding JJ. The flop comes K-K-J. OMG! Yeah. No more Kings fall and no Ace either, and I was OUT! 30th. DAMN!

I go play a few sit n go's. I finish third twice and win one for $450, to pretty much break even in that department.If anyone remembers my blowup in September at Horseshoe with that jackass "Speedy" Gonzalez (I have no idea what his real name is, nor do I care) I have a funny story about his stupid ass. He has been pretty much annoying EVERYONE up here this week. Very loud. His new thing is standing up and repeatedly shouting "VOODOOO, I put VOODOOO on you" at his table, which I think really kind of freaks everyone out, especially those old guys who can barely handle ME and my antics. At least I'm not threatening tribal hauntings on people.

Well, he somehow made the final table the other day. They are down to three, maybe four...possibly two, I don't know. What I do know (and everyone else in the room) was that numbnuts was two cards away from either winning the thing or at least taking over a gigantic chiplead....I guess he had AK, the other guy JJ...he flops AAQ. He stands up and starts SHOUTING...."I WIN, I WIN...you lose...hahahahha two more cards....what? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!" as the other guy rivers a JACK! The whole room exploded in laughter! If I have said it once, I have said it a million times, you celebrate before the river, you are going down! Ya know when I celebrate? After the 6th card has come out!

So...Speedy did NOT win, and thankfully we don't have to look at his goofy ass picture on the bulletin board that lists all the event winners.

Is this entry getting too long again?

I forgot this snippet from the other day. While moving from our old room to this little mini-palace, we were with the bellman, right? And that big cart with all our stuff on it. We are waiting for the elevator. It arrives, and as we are getting in, a couple arrives at the same time and starts trying to shove in ahead of us...um, well, okay. So they are in the back of the elevator, and need to get off on floor 17. We are going to 31. Picture the luggage cart in the middle of the car. This couple, one in each back corner, me in front of the lady, Brandon in front of the man...the Bellman in front of the cart. We arrive at 17. I try to get out of this lady's way so she can get off. This lady was about 6 ft. Her husband about 5'7. She had the voice of a trucker. Her hair would suggest that she has been going to the same hairdresser for 30 years, someone who has failed to update their 'style chart' in about three decades. So as she squeezes by me she lets fly with "thanks a lot, ya rude fucks!" We all look at each other incredulously. I, for once...was speechless! I mean, I guess we just kind of had to laugh. What are you supposed to do there? Go after her and ask what on Gods Green Earth prompted that? Or just ignore it? Fearing what she/it might respond with? Yeah, we let it go. But I still kind of wonder what was going on in her brain. Only in Tunica, only in Tunica!

Fast forward to Tuesday. I slept in. Didn't care if I was on time or not. Arrive with 5 minutes left in the first level. Notice right away that my table sucks. There is an old guy in the ten seat, who CAN NOT, and WILL NOT be bluffed! So do NOT even think about it. I have Anthony from Atlanta at my table, who I final tabled with the other night in the 2nd chance. Good player. Mike "Carwash" comes a bit later, into seat 4...which had seen 5 players come and go from. They both would lose a lot of chips to this guy. Why? They kept trying to bluff him. I had a very specific strategy against him. Call his limps. Call his raises. DO NOT RE-RAISE HIM. DO NOT RAISE HIM. If he has money in there, he is NOT going away. So I played the snake in the grass game. And it worked like clockwork.

There are more than one KAI's out there. This guy is from Texas. I think he spells it KAY? No that can't be it. Well, whatever...its pronounced the same. He was pretty entertaining, had a little bit of me in him. I was feeling very mellow during this tourney so he pretty much took over for me. He has a very high opinion of himself and his game, which he stated several times. I admit it, he was playing well. He was chipping up pretty big too. I was playing very tight. I was sitting on about 5K at level 4 when I raise from cutoff with JJ. I get a call from the big blind. Flop comes K-J-2. He bets 1K. I call. Turn is a 7. He bets 1500. I raise to 3000. He goes all in with his KQ. See ya. SEAT FOUR OPEN! I'm up to 9k. Very quietly making my run. The other Kai proceeds to donk, and I MEAN donk...off all his chips, until he has only 2200 left. He makes the mistake of MIN RAISING my BB. From 150/300 he makes it 600. The old guy in 10 makes the call. I look down at my favorite hand...K9...SUITED! (bonus) Well, I am certainly NOT folding. And you all know my deal about the min raise. The flop? You will like this. Q-10-J. Two clubs. I have spades. I have...mmmm the 2nd nuts right now. I KNOW the old guy doesn't have AK..he would have raised. Well, I check of course. Kai II goes all in. The old guy calls. I kind of hate how I played this. But he is so scary...he could have (and probably does) an ace...and if he hits a K I'll be looking for or inventing new ways to kill myself, and would be busting out. Or possibly a club draw? So I play it safe and move all in over the top. He folds. Kai doesn't have shit, and he leaves.

Next comes fun hand #2. Old guy...ah lets call him Kermit, as he kind of had the posture and certain facial similarities to the renowned Frog. Oh and of course, he is wearing a bright green shirt! Kermit limps in for 300. I look down at A10d on the button, and of course just call behind him. SB and BB both hang in there. The flop? Hahahahahha...you know it....Q-J-K, rainbow. Tooo funny. Blinds both check. He bets 1000. I min raise to 2000. Both blinds fold. He calls. Turn is a 2. He bets 2000. I call. River is a 7. He checks. Now Carwash says he would have moved all in there for my last 7500, and thinks the guy would have called. But I am looking to extract maximum value. I suppose it could have worked both ways. I bet 3500. He calls. He has QJ. He grimaces. But he still has a lot of chips.

Fun hand #3. Now Kermit has seldom raised in this game. He is a limping machine. So when (at 200/400) he makes it 1600 in early position, and I look down at 10-10...I realize this guy has GOT to have AA/KK/QQ for SURE. I KNOW I am behind. But with 20K I have to see a flop. So I call the 1600. After everyone folds, I catch Carwash's eyes and mouth to him "I have tens." Here comes the flop of the year......10-10-7. Nooooo wayyyyy! Too great. Kermit leads out for 2000. And this is where my Dustin Hoffman performance begins. "Wow...2K? I thought I had the best hand after the flop...but now I'm not sure. What do you have sir? Kings? You don't have A10 do you? Wow...okay, bad call" I make the call. Turn is...oh who cares, it doesn't matter, because he is sitting on AA. And I have flipping QUADS! I really don't think my Oscar-worth act mattered, I don't think he was folding ACES ever, not even if I had shown him ONE ten. But after he bets 4000 on the turn...and I say something like....well, if you have the ten I cant win..."I'm all in" to which he insta-calls and sees just how dirty I did him.

Monkey now has a shit load of chips! All of a sudden, after I have knocked Kermit out...I notice we are half an hour away from the dinner break, and 2 away from the money. Whoa! Really? That was fast! Carwash and I keep getting stuck next to each other with the re-draws. Holding the same number of chips, we agree to do a 10% save on one of us finishing in the top 4. I have enough chips (around 25K) to get through the money bubble without sweating it...so I decide to cash first, and not get cute and get busted. Which is what Carwash's buddy would do on another table. It was weird...three tables...and ours all had about average stacks, the one behind us almost ALL had massive stacks, and the other one had 4 shortstacks out of 7 players. One of them was SURE to go out 19th.

But...nope, not to be. And I don't understand players sometimes. Look behind to see this play:Raise UTG from 2000/4000 to 15k. The button SMOOTH CALLS 15k! HUH? Then Carwash's buddy John (from Atlanta) MOVES ALL IN for like 50K. The first raiser calls. The second guy folds. John has AQd. The first raiser has KK. The flop comes K-8-8. Wow. We are in the money. Dude on the other table was down to 3000 chips! He cashes. Gross.

I run out of luck. I am not catching many cards. But I am very patient. I kind of think I misplayed this hand. This kid...bald headed kid...who I now want payback against...had been exploiting the bubble from 22 down to 19 players. Limping in for big....then leading on the flop, most likely with air every time. Well, he limps in for 4000. I am in the BB with KJd...heads up with him. I have 18K behind. I kind of think the right play there (against this player) was to move all in. Take down the pot (approx. 14K) right there. But no, I decide to play it stealthily. Which looks like a good decision when the flop comes J-10-7. Two hearts. I decide NOT to get cute and check raise...on the off chance he checks behind then improves with maybe a Q or an A or another heart....so I blast out a 7500 bet. HE CALLS. WTF? Now...had I moved ALL IN there for 18K I don't know if he calls or not. This guy is holding Q8h. The next card out is a damn 9. I move all in...now I have top pair, 2nd kicker, and a straight draw. He calls, of course (with his straight AND flush draw, ugh). I do not improve, in fact, he rivers a damn flush. And I am OUT...in 15th. Good for a whopping $481. That's going to look awfully nice on my Cardplayer Player Profile. So no final table, No POY points, No Rounder Points (none yet this year!) and no discernable financial procurement. Bummer!

But Carwash was on a heater at last look. And we/they all decided to play this one out and not wait til tomorrow, so hopefully when we go back to play today, I will see Mike's photo on the bulletin board, and be collecting over a grand from him. That would be a great way to start the day! Plus Carwash is a great dude, nothing better than a good dude winning if I can't.

I play a sit n go right after going out. I finish an annoying 3rd, again. Go to play another $125. Start out strong. Doubling up with QQ. Then...entering the room, is Johnny Groomes! And he isssssss hammmerred! Hilarious! He is on vacation. And obviously enjoying himself! I was wondering where he has been, as I haven't seen him all week. Well, he came to talk to me, offered very kind, sincere condolences (sic) regarding the loss of our baby last month, which was very nice of him...and then challenged me to play in a SNG with him for $80.

Well, they kind of have a rule against playing two SNGs at the same time, but I think they relaxed it for this one, or maybe I THOUGHT they did, as I plopped my $80 on the table and drew the seat next to Johnny. This should be a lot of fun.

[I had never understood why they wont let you play two SNGs at once, even though at places like Reno I had done it numerous times. Well, I figured it out last night, all on my own...and am embarrassed that my feeble brain never figured this out before. Well, duh, what if some schmuck was low stack and about to go out in one and so snuck chips over to the other one? Or vice versa? Well, two things. (a) I am not that guy and (b) who IS that guy? I mean at the end of the SNG, the dealers COUNT all the stacks back out and re-set them for another SNG. So when they come up short on chips, who the hell would they implicate? Gee, wonder how many chips are on the other table!? Lets count them! Oh...we are over by how many? Yeah...then that guy gets booted from the casino, probably for life! Nice play moron! But you KNOW those idiots are out there. I guess if you don't THINK like a cheater, it might take you three years (as it did for me) to figure these things out!]

As we were about to begin THAT one...and me not intending to go over there until I busted out of the other, or at the very least to just play my blinds...Johnny tells me something I thought was funny. Not sure what inspired this exactly. "Monkey...just so you know, you CANNOT do live blogs from your phone during a tournament unless you have a press pass," or a media credential or something like that. He never got a chance to elaborate. First of all, I JUST think I might have figured out HOW to do that last week. Haven't tried it, and not sure it even works. Don't think I mentioned it on here yet. Maybe I did. I wonder, are other players doing this? Has it caused an issue somewhere? Well, the keypad on my Blackberry is so small, I can't even imagine sitting there pecking away trying to make a blog entry in the middle of a tourney. I suppose if I am playing a big event somewhere, and I am on tourney breaks...I suppose then maybe some intermittent updates might be kind of cool. But never in a tourney under 5K, and never from the table would I pull that stunt.

Johnny would end up busting out FIRST! So I didn't even get a chance to play with him...which I was really looking forward to. He immediately retreated to the cash game area. I would go over to that table and play my BB, pick up AA against a guy holding JJ. I double up. So now, I have issues. I have a big stack on BOTH tables, but we are down to 4 on one, and 5 on the other. Blinds are now 200/400 on one, and 400/800 on the other. I am scrambling. I run JJ into QQ in one and get almost busted. Then in the other I run AJ into AK...and lose there. I end up going out 4th in BOTH! Don't cash EITHER. Damn! Not how that was supposed to go down!

Winning both would have been quite a feat, but just winning one would have been perfectly acceptable, after all they were two winner satellites, so if I could have just sat on a big stack, I could have almost folded my way to the win. Grrrrrrrrr......

Well, so far I have to feel pretty good about this trip. I am in a great room, I am having a lot of fun with the players. The dealers have been pretty good. I have one final table, two cashes, and two deep finishes. I am only 2 for 8 in SNGs, but should really be about 5 for 8. I am playing well, I think. I am just about dead even for the trip right now, and with a week left, I can feel a big final table finish coming, maybe today (I hope). I have to say, they have been great, too, about handing out Food Comps to the food court here. They are worth $12 a piece, and they are pretty good about giving them out. I really, really like to see that. And I know all the players really appreciate it. I know I had a rough patch with MGM and all that mess last year...but I never trashed Ken and Johnny back then for a good reason, I contend that they run some of the best poker events out there...and are both really good guys. Plus...they put up with me! :)

Okay...think that's a wrap for today! Hey, if anyone who reads this isn't on my Facebook and has an account on there...shoot me a friend request and I will get you on there. I like to post my tourney updates on there sometimes. Squirrel is on there now, and is requesting (okay, DEMANDING) that I watch what I say on there as her whole family is on there! Yeah well...as long as I can keep them from reading this we should be fine!

MONKEY