Anonymous said...
monkey,
i read your blog and i must agree on some of yardjobs points. i read his last comment and now this one. as far as you not wanting to be a household name..... i recall you saying you didnt know if you would want all the pressure of being a household name. and im not going look it up to be "spot on". come on, who are you kidding. ive been in the same building w/ you and can hear you from the other side of that building. who carries on in your manner, and wouldnt want to be a household name. why would someone want so much attention? i'll admit you are funny, and i get a kick out of your antics. they dont, havent, and wouldnt in any way, affect my game at your table. but all in all, its usually not called for. you are loud, complain about every beat, and over shadow the badbeats you give as if when you or "making a play, or shortstacked.".its ok for you to suckout and tell us about how "good you were running" yet the donkeys just get lucky. kinda seems like the same road.you are telling me, as competetive as you claim to be, that you dont want to be a "known poker player". did anyone who read that laugh as loud as i did? man that is all you want. its seems to me you think you will become known more for being the " poker monkey" and your antics of belittling other players...as if the rest of the table didnt know they may have made a bad play.... when you call out hands and receive praise from the table.... the good players are doing the same thing, they just dont need the table to know.too make this list short.....are you ever happy?you always have a " i wanna kick blah blahs ass"attitude. you always get in confrontations. loud and attention grabbing confrontations. keep your cool man and the donks might not come gunnin as much, like the old donk who rode you the last tourney or so before the kiddie pool championships.you spoke of him often and his bad calls...maybe he just wanted you off his table..did you ever put your antics and your opponents decisions on a scale?you have 50 plus cashes...cuz you always seem to throw that in a blog.....and i have friends with like 5 to ten cashes and all have you crushed in the "earnings" department. which to me is worth more, cuz i believe the cash is what its really about. am i wrong? plus they arent giving more then half to a backer. more cashes..or more cash? you decide.a wsop bracelet..sure that would be nice. but that isnt why i play. it is the only reason you play, yet while the wsop is going on...as mike the mouth said " the kiddie game is down the street" and low and behold theirs a monkey in it....everyday. while the real events and most backed proffessionals were attending, you were splashing around in a pool full of donkey piss. and for a month.. let us know how good you were, compared to them...i have read your blogs for awhile now and your hypocrisy at times is silly. your indesicions are amusing. your self promotions or in plainview, but maybe hidden to the average reader. for example,if something big is said on the site of another accomplished local....your next blog will remember when you did this...someone told you that....and your forever growing list of achievements in the poker world will be mentioned. ill repost this everyday if you dont put it up like my last one months ago, and i will keep reading.with that said congrats on your success and may it continue...sincerely.
August 1, 2009 11:54 AM
Okay. As promised. I am responding...to a guy whose name on here is Anonymous. Wonderful.
Household name? I carry on? I seem to want/clamor for attention. Who am I kidding about NOT wanting to be a household name? That’s your point.
OKAY: Again, I will reiterate. When you hear me talking loud...I am among people I enjoy being with and usually just having fun. Not sure what that has to do with WANTING attention. I like the attention that comes from REAL players and poker related people when I WIN a tourney. Were I to win a televised event, get on TV...and thus be exposed to people I have NO INTEREST in getting chummy with...only to be basically harassed everywhere I go? NO. Not something I am interested in. AT ALL. In fact, when I am at the table, playing...that IS my happy place. Its where I am most affable. If you saw me away from the table, you would either (a)think you were with someone else or (b) think I was deeply depressed. Neither. Just pretty much want to be left the fuck alone when I am away from the poker table. We clear on that one? Hope so. NEXT!
Uhhh...glad you think I'm funny. Glad you enjoy my antics. Glad it doesn’t affect your play. Your accusation that I complain about every bad beat...nope, sorry gotta disagree. When exactly is the last time I was your table, BTW? I’m guessing not lately. And frankly, when I am getting lucky and sucking out...I NEVER celebrate in the face of the person I sucked out on. IN fact, I am usually so embarrassed that I pretty much sink in my chair and usually apologize to the other player. And when I write about it on here...hey...um...not going to apologize for that.
Oh...and to add to that..."You run good, but the Donkeys just get lucky..." Well, yeah...pretty much they do...because when I get lucky? I am getting 'lucky' with like...pocket 8's against AJ...when a J hits the flop and I river an 8. Or I have AK against KK and hit an A. See...the thing is, I actually HAD a decent hand to start out with. Generally...when you read about me bitching about ridiculous donkey beats...its coming against fuckers with shit like 47 offsuit against my 10-10 flopped set when they called a damn raise preflop. Or raise at cutoff with A8 and cant fold to a 5x reraise (holding AQ) and then hit the 8. Please. These people...are FUCKING DONKEYS. They deserve to be photographed and have a stall cleared for them in the barn. And when it happens after I have invested 12 hours of my fucking LIFE in a tourney....sorry bro, it requires disgust and disappointment. NEXT!
Your next paragraph is filled with run-ons and statements that come across as either questions or random proclamations. Not even sure I can address them. Pretty much just a Monkey bashing paragraph. You seem like you have a big desire to but me down. I’m actually kind of tired right now and in sort of a "I don’t give a fuck" mood as I write this...so I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow I will feel different about this paragraph. Uh....basically you seem to suggest I go out of my way to get into confrontations with other players. Again...when is the last time you played at my table? Not sure about your reason for bringing up calling other peoples hands and having people comment on how amazing they think it is when I nail their hand. I actually CLOWN the situation...when I state quite clearly that its not rocket science to put people on hands...its experience and thousands of hands played that provide a player with that ability. You seem to think I am on some glam-hound mission. Wrong again Anonymous Andy.
NEXT. Bring up the number of cashes. Seem to suggest that I mention it a lot. Pretty sure I have mentioned it ONCE...MAYBE twice. And it was in a reference manner only. Oh yeah, twice...the other day when talking about players (females) getting deals with their huge 2 or 3 total cashes. And once this summer when I had a side bet with Matt Brady when he was husslin me out of $500. Yeah...that’s me braggin. Give me a break dude. I don’t give a FUCK how many cashes I have. And earnings? You have friends with 5 cashes but more earnings? Really? 5 cashes for more than 335k? Please...I have to know, Mr Anonymous...who are these friends of yours? Please tell me.
NEXT. WSOP bracelet. You insist I want one. Mike Matusow comment...splashing around in a kiddie pool. Reference to playing 'down the street' at Venetian. I harbor no regrets to playing the Venetian. I think its funny when you egotistical morons come to Vegas with your 15k every summer...and play 5 or 6 WSOP events...go broke, go home...tell all your pals how you played the WSOP...and sit there glowing in all the glory this gets you...when I play 20 Venetian Events, cash 6 of them, win 2...win the all around, bank 125k for the summer...and then read these comments about bozos telling me I'm splashing around in the kiddie pool...that I can't beat the GOOD players. Hey you know what? I’m cool with that. I know where my game is. And when I manage to 'work my way into' scenarios where I can afford to play 2500 to 10,000 ONLY tourneys...and the paydays are 6 figures instead of 5...I will look back on what I did to get me to where I am and have no regrets at all.
THIS PARAGRAPH IS ABOUT AS CONFUSING AS THEY COME:
i have read your blogs for awhile now and your hypocrisy
if something big is said on the site of another accomplished local
AND THEN THIS:
ill repost this everyday if you dont put it up like my last one months ago, and i will keep reading.
Not sure if that is supposed to be a threat. When I see COMMENTS...I have to click on PUBLISH. If I don’t read it for 6 days or so...you will have 6 comments that are just sitting there. What is the point of continually posting the same damn question? Do you for some reason think that every time you post this question...I get some kind of an electrical shock in my phone or my ankle bracelet that the state makes me wear? I don’t! Just so you know.
AND THEN YOU FOLLOW IT UP WITH THIS STATEMENT:
with that said congrats on your success and may it continue...sincerely.
WOW...so I'm curious...your kid comes home...after finishing 2nd in some contest...do you go on a 25 minute rant about what a loser he is...how he isn’t living up to your expectations, how his Mom hates him....how ugly he is...how the other kids make fun of him...and then, right at the end...shine him up with a "Hey by the way, good job today...I'm real proud of you..."
Ugh..........huh?
Thanks for your comments. I guess.
MONKEY
PS~! YOU have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! It wont let me post this because it will only accept a CERTAIN number of characters. 4096! But it won't say how many its been...so guess what? You just became a damn blog entry!
Posts
15 comments:
Good Job Monkey. I have played with you also @ the hmm... tunica I think. I struggle with some/most of his comments, but all in all, your a damn good player. Quiet funny also. Enjoyable at the table. So push shit like he said away...
Also- You were exceptional explaining playing the $300-$500 events v/s the wsop 1500-3000 etc. I agree w/ ya there 100%.
Eric
Will-
This comment is so ridiculous and over-the-top that I was wondering what you thought the possibilities were that one of your buddies like Allie or Kai left it under the Anonymous signing?
If it is real, wow, dude needs a therapist. Maybe a University team of therapists. For someone to take that kind of time and thought into obsessing about this and writing a comment like that and NOT manning up by signing it is nothing short of pathetic.
Get a life Anonymous! Most people that read Will's blog are either real friends of his or played with him at some point in the past (I am part of the latter). People read it because it is hilarious. Most do not put 1/10 the thought into it that you have. Including the blog author himself.
Speaking for myself, for players like me who are working professionals and can not find the time to travel the circuit as often as we would like, Will provides an interesting and funny, (albeit warped, in Monkey's magical way), take on life as a poker player. And that is why we like it!
Will, keep it up. Haters are everywhere. And yes, they do suck. But it sure feels good spitting in their faces succeeding despite their jealousy, venom and hate.
Hey, look at haters as a benchmark for success. The more you have, you must be doing something right!
Later and good luck.
Brother Monkey,
I have a hunch that Captain Anonymous was A.) one of the donkeys that you have faced and has been put into your stall and B.) was later ousted by you in the same damn tournament.
I agree, he does sound a pinch too passionate about your blog. Kinda freaky. Kinda stalkery. I advise against the previously mentioned mealtime invitation.
Your Anonymous Sister
I have a question about tips. Of course, every tournament gives out at least 3% for the dealers and staff.
I am usually one of the few who does tip at Coushatta in Louisiana even in there $220 buy in tournaments. Well I have won a few nice tournaments in the past 3 years and was wondering how much that you would have tipped.
First tournament was at Harrahs in Lake Charles. It was one of there end of the month tournaments that paid $12,500 CASH. I actually won that tournament twice in a 4 month span. Anyway, from each win, I gave the floorperson who accompanied me to the window $800. I felt that was a pretty big tip.
Now on to my bigger tournament win. It was Coushatta 7 Clans tournament from 2006. I won first place and it paid $134,000 for place and a $10,000 bracelet. The bracelet was only worth around $6000 when I had it appraised at 2 places, but oh well. Well anyway, they of course dont take out any taxes at Coushatta but I did have to pay taxes that year from gambling minus my losses. I tipped $2000 from that win. Most people told me that I was stupid and should NEVER have given over $1000 and most had never even thought of tipping when you win since they take out 3% anyway. That $2000 was the toughest money that has ever left my hand! How much would you have tipped? I think that I should not have given more than $1000, BUT I did read in a magazine that a 2-3% tip is fine.
On a side note, I am a little pissed that Coushatta and Harrahs never used to report these events to cardplayer. My tournament winnings dont look too high on cardplayer without 5 key tournaments.
The more you let it bother you, the more they throw their ignorance at you. Like a monkey throwing feces at the zoo!
Ultimately, you have to thank them for reading, tell them you value their opinion, and move on. You are too good a person to let this comment section become a 10 ton albatross!
Time for some responses...since I have yet to figure out a way to respond to your guys' comments individually, every time I try to do a REPLY response, it just gets bounced back to me. So here goes. And by the way...thanks a lot everyone for your comments/input/feedback...I love reading it...even the negative stuff (sort of)!
ERIC: Appreciate the nice comments. You think I'm funny? I think I'm more mentally disturbed and you all are just laughing at the slowly eroding mental state of Senor Monkey! Thanks for agreeing with my 300/500 MTT theology!
MONKEY
GREG A:
Yeah...I can tell you it was definitely NOT Allie or Kai. Their style is very distinctive, OH! And they love to take credit for their work, sort of like Al Queada! University team of therapists!!! That was a good one. Yeah I liked what you had to say...glad I keep ya amused man. And your take on creating more haters the more successful I or anyone gets is pretty dead on. Just kind of goes with the territory I suppose. I guess if they aren't talking about ya, you arent doing SHIT, huh!!??
MONK
SISTER...or, Anonymous Sister Monkey:
You're funny J-Dawg. I have to say, uh...maybe you are right about foregoing the friendly invite to share a beer! I don't know...perhaps this guy ends up being a good buddy. It wouldn't be the first time!
Your Brother!
GJ:
Tipping. Whoa...yeah, wow. Very interesting topic. And a lot of conjecture on this subject has been expended. You basically have the hardcores who DONT tip because they insist that the 3% that is withheld goes STRAIGHT to the dealers. Also, there are those tourneys where your stick another $10 in there, for more chips..and its supposed to go to the dealer. Well, not all of that $10 does. I have NEVER been a dealer. I have never been a floor person. I have worked in the service industry for several years...so I am one who kind of likes to champion the cause of the working stiff. There are some very, very good floor people who can be very instrumental in either REALLY HELPING you survive/persevere in a tourney and some bad ones who, should they make one awful call...can REALLY kill you. I think if you are going to tip the floor, you have to just use your own judgement. But what is EXPECTED? NO real good answer there. I tip more than most. But there are some places where I will NOT tip after I cash...not to the person doing the payouts...because often times, that money gets chopped up and spread around to WAY too many people, so I will literally seek out and tip these dealers individually, to make sure they are fairly compensated. Basically, 2 or 3% is about the norm for those wanting to just 'do the right thing.' Its sounds to me like you are a lot like me in that area. Don't let anyone call you stupid. Ever. But also don't ever feel obligated to leave an excessive tip, becuase you arent. Wow, that was pretty long. Hope that helped a bit. Oh...and hey, sounds like you have had some very nice scores. Well done! Keep up the good playing and hope to meet you some day!
MONK
ALBrian:
Couldn't agree with you more. And please, don't allow yourself to conclude that I am letting negative posts trouble me, or become a fixation. Its not. I think when I read that one I was kind of incredulous and just really sort of felt like addressing it. I mean, I AM a human being...and I DO get my feelings hurt. You know? I'm not bullet proof. So sometimes, when I see ridiculous statements and read this stupid accusations, I don't know...I feel compelled to share my views on some of them. I do appreciate them reading my drivel though and sharing their opinions, whether I agree or not.
MONK
good job hmm... eric who hmmm. struggles with the hmm.... comments. did i not make it clear that " to me" monkey is as ypu hmm...repeat, damn funny.
as for the kiddie pool vs. the wsop comments, we'll talk about that at another time. {maybe over a beer}
for mr. kj off all over your suit.
time and thought...obsessing?
its called reading....just tend to remember things after reading themmmmmm . it takes as much time to respond as it does to read ittttttttt.
to talk about the third paragraph from the dude with the stained suit.
lets see.. i believe i mentioned i do read his blog, i believe i have played with him if you missed that, and once again find monkey to be damn funny
1/10 of a thought..1/10 of a thought.
so you waste time reading shit and put 1/10 of thought into retaining the info? oh no , you mean most people.
..as for poker...you obviously have to work. so you live out your final table dreams through monkeys magic blog entry? nice
once again,..... monkey is funny, monkey is a damn good player.
monkey,.i will respond to your blog a little later,
anonymous andy
Oh, look who has emerged from their room upstairs at their Mom’s house to try to defend himself. Better get those typing fingers ready because it looks like you have a slew of people that find you as sad, weird and stalker-ish as I do.
What a bundle of sunshine you are, full of positivity. Quite thin-skinned for someone who spent hours crafting a comment with innumerable gripes about the personality of someone you don’t even know only to whine and lash-out when people clown you for it.
Again, pathetic.
But then again, I guess someone such as yourself can only occupy himself for so long playing online poker for micro-stakes and watching internet porn upstairs at his Mom’s house, right? But not to worry, I am sure if you ask her nicely, mow the lawn and eat all of your vegetables at dinner, your Mom will spring for that much needed psychological evaluation for you.
So, I suggest you go back to your room and try to figure out some more ‘witty’ responses to the ever-increasing number of people who think you are a whack-job so that we can all clown you again.
KJ off,
Quick to judge, but don't know shit. Actually Anonymous Andy knows monkey very well. I would guess he and myself have logged a minimum of 100 hours at the same table as "monkey". I agree that 90% of his observations are dead on balls accurate. If i'm a hater, then i'm a hater. And, I will reveal myself to all @ the Beau on Wed. September 9th where i will appear as "The Real Poker Monkey". But until then, all you little wanna-bes keep defending the guy who you live your poker life vicariously through. You all can suck on my balls!!
if i was making money blogging i would pay people to leave me nasty comments. it blows up the readership. one a-hole on my site has livened up the place exponentially. plus i get to try and trade insults with people which is sweet.
greg
"aw"man someone kj off all over my....
..this was sent the day cumsuit made his last comment..didnt go through so here it is again
it doesnt take hours to craft a comment for you.
remember ....read and retain. try it, in fact go read my original post again.
i think i know monkey probably better than you perhaps. when you read and retain someones blog,
you kinda get to know and understand what that person is thinking , feeling, going through, and so on and so on...
monkey puts his true and honest thoughts out there for people to view. its like a movie/tv character you become very familiar with.
so since i use more then 1/10th of thought, i feel by reading this, it allows me to understand him a bit more then i would from his live play.
.......if im ramblin....point is....you speak of a
personality i dont know.
i believe his writings reflect his personality. and i
reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaddddd ttttttthhheeemmm.
pathetic?.... if you think one line you wrote was as,
you say" clownin me". you need to re read your
post. man your weak, you didnt clown me. not a thing you said was.. how you say " witty"
the stalker comments were funny, they didnt come from the guy w/ the stained suit.
i guess that person is part of your slew , though.
now you come w/" the old guy online who just got
sucked out on" stereotypical...your moms room..bla,blah cut, grass.bla bla bla.is that all you can muster up? or perhaps, you are actually the guy online always typing those comments. hahaha
fukn dooshster. those jokes are actually so 2005
the sad one is you, the weird one is you.
pull your lame ass away from the comp, and quit tryin to impress monkey with your lame effort as the self proclaimed leader of his support group. get up for your 9 to 5. dream about doing something your no good at.... and im not talking about your original writing skills......i mean poker. if you
could play poker you would sad man. retire and play. you must have something in that retirement fund set aside for your explosion onto the pokerscene. maybe you need to get
away from those micro stakes......
the stalker comment was good, but i assure the blogger im no stalker.
kj cumsuit, i have no intention of responding to the army you are assembling. but we can go back and forth as long as you find the time between your job and the rest of the time you spend with your non creative self.
i read a blog and have the freedom to criticize it whenever i want. i cant even respond to your hero, because you keep interfering.
pls. you will not out do me. i started this 10 minutes ago.
you prepare all day at work on your weak recycled responses.
okie doke
your fukn name says it all you marginal donk.
monk,
i follow your "character", through this site. my
comments were written based on what i read, not what i know. for example; you explainig that you dont bash plyrs anymore. ok if you say so....on here you do.
i will get back to you on things that i was apparently wrong about, and the things i think i may have not been wrong about.
anonymous andrew
ps. i wonder if kj reads this at work tommorrow what the scenery behind him would be.
a.] an auto part store
b.] a repetitive warehouse
c.] a relatives empire
d.] all of the above, perhaps hes a delivery guy
WOW.
You guys are getting pretty out of control now! And now, I cant even keep track of who is who. How many are slingin mud exactly? Two? Three? More than that? You guys are getting kind of silly now. I mean its pretty funny, I have to admit, all the little slams you guys are making on each other. It just goes to show just how deep people can dig when they are doing in on their computers. I remember back in 94 when computers and AOL were just coming out, how people would sit there in those stupid chat rooms, and inevitably a chat war would break out within about 15 minutes. Or when you are playing online poker, there always ends up being a couple players who start fighting with each other. You would NEVER have that happen at the poker table. Instead, you just sit there...stewing, contemplating all the various ways you would like to kill that person across from you. Behind your computer, they literally tell you what they are thinking. I have to be honest, after this last trip to Tunica...HOLY SHIT...if that were an online poker expereince, you would heard a LOT out of me. Yeah, I bash those players IN PRINT, on THIS BLOG...but at the table, I just sit there...imagining all the ways I would like to watch this person tortured. So don't take what I say here as reflective of the way I would act/talk to a player at the actual event. Because I dont. And as for you guys...come on now! Can't wait to see you all in the same room. And I also can't wait to see what the 'Real Poker Monkey' looks like. So I am the 'Wanna Be Poker Monkey' now? Ouch!
MONK
Or.......e) a Geologist at a very old and reputable Engineering firm.
I guess for you I should explain what a Geologist is.... but why bother? You wouldn't understand anyway! haha, wow. Yeah, me and all us geophysicists, engineers and planners I work with are all a bunch of morons with out fancy "degrees" and academic honors.....hahaha. I know what your thinking, "Who needs engineering in our world anyway?" Yes, its completely unnecessary. Infrastructure (yes, a big word for you, I know) and innovation? Also, totally useless in your "world", right? Ryght.
Yes, we in the industry all hate our "crummy" 6-figure a year jobs with Benefits and the freedom to choose the projects we want to be involved in. Yeah, it really sucks doing what you love!
Sarcastic enough for for you?
Funny how the undereducated and jobless who is so ashamed of his lack of results that he does not even have the nads to post who he is so his results can be clowned, trying oh so hard to sound intelligent talking about reading comprehension and retention! Side question: Why does every losing poker player who lacks backing and who happens to be unemployed feel the need to say they "play for a living"? Do they think anyone does not see through this?).
Haha, what the hell do you know about reading and retention? Yes, I know for you to obtain that GED from that piss-poor public school system in the deep south took LOADS of retention and "smarts". Haha, yeah it must have.
Anonymous "scared to give my real name cause I suck at a game I try to play for a living" Andy: Keep playing poker for a living, go broke like we know you are. Hey, all games and tourneys need "producers" right? And that is clearly your role.
Oh yeah, and make sure to save some of that money from those .05/.10 cent games online for those teeth that are most certainly rotting out of your head and your coronary waiting to happen (fat ass) seeing as you have no health care and your broke-ass Mommy can not afford! Hilarious.
Again, such an insecure, pathetic loser you are. Oh yeah, best part is that you did not deny the "living at Mom's upstairs" blast. Nice!
Try again, "Intellectual Andy".
Oh yeah, your credibilty is ZERO until you reveal your real name so we can dissect your excellent "skills" and "results". Yes, I am positive you won't do it simply out of the sheer terror of being exposed as the fraud that you are! Your too much of an insecure pussy to do so....guaranteed.
So until then "Anonymous Andy", your credibility as a "professional poker player" and critic is shit. Period.
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