Stretch Drive at the I.P.

Okay, okay...I hear you guys! Four days without a post!!!! What's up Monkey!!!???

I'll tell ya what's up, guys...I've been running bad and unlucky. And in case you haven't noticed, I have really been trying hard to keep things positive on here lately. And I hate coming at you guys with negative news. It bums me out, makes me look bad and just doesn't feel good to write about.

And then yesterday, I was starting to think, "Wow, I might just have something fantastic to write about tomorrow." But instead, it feels like one of the Pokerstars tourneys, where I buy in for $30....me and 3000 other players...I chip up early...hang around for a long time....take a bad beat....but still have chips....get them back...hang around longer...make the money.....then BOOM! Take a bad beat....and after 8 hours...have very little to show for it. Only this time, it was the live version.

Good news first. It's Friday. Its another beautiful sunny day in Biloxi. The extreme pain that I have been carrying around in my neck FINALLY has left me. Now I need to start doing these Yoga stretches and going to the gym to ward off another episode. But it feels goods to feel good again.

Yesterday was Thursday. It was a $340. I arrived late. Why? Because I considered laying in the backyard, reading my book for an hour and getting some much needed sun more important. I was probably right. Who knows what would have happened in that first half hour. We start with 8k in chips. By the start of level 3 I had almost 30k. How? I was getting cards. Like a stupid ass though, I was giving guys I like a break, letting them get off of hands. I was flopping sets when they were flopping top/top. I was flopping straights (twice!) when they were flopping two pair. Instead of milking them I would check raise them all in and encourage them to fold. They did. I showed them. I should have been trying to felt them all...and getting to 50 or 60k instead. But alas, I have a heart...I care about certain guys, know they are running bad, and refuse to bust them if I can help it. I really need to get over that.

On the one huge hand...I have AKc. I get three callers behind me for 200. I make it 650. I get called by the SB (with Ace bad) and three other limpers. Wow. Great. Felt much better when the flop comes A-10-A. Two spades. Checks to me. I make it 1500. I always bet there. If anything...it might make that guy with 10-x think hes got me. Well, the SB smooth calls. Everyone else folds. Hmmm...okay. Turn is a 4...non spade. He leads out this time. 2500. Strange. A4??? Please no. I just call. I am fading a spade or wanting a K. Or even 10 for a chop. I get the King on the river. Awesome. He checks this time. I put a value bet out there....2500. He only has 3400 so I figure he is either going to fold or go all in. He does neither. He smooth calls! And leaves 900 at home. Weird. Didn't see his kicker, but Im guessing it was something like an 8 or a 9. Nice call preflop champ. I had only been showing top 15 hands all day. He would double up a couple times...but go broke shortly after that.

That was it for me for awhile. It then started to get nasty. Raising with AJ a couple times and having guys ship about 5x my raise all in. Folding both times. Getting AQ and raising...getting looked up in two spots. Bricking the flop. Fold. Calling raises...flopping draws only to miss on 4th and 5th street, and losing more chips. I was starting to get very aggravated and was watching my stack dwindle. Not again!

Then I am down to only 8k and our table breaks. GOOD! I move to a table that is featuring this Asian guy who I have been getting annoyed with for the last two hours. Why? No special reason, just the fact he has been sitting on his chair backwards with his underwear hanging all the way out of his pants. You are not 5'8, blonde...with a great ass, a nice rack and sexy back sir. No, you are a fat, ugly little asian guy. Pull up your friggin pants, you're making us all sick.

That was one of two very annoying things yesterday. The other two, I had the whole table freaking out about. One of them has been going on for days now. The other, it was our first exposure to. The first? There is a guy named Allen. He has been running the SNG area. Well, they have also made the mistake of placing a microphone in his hand and letting him announce the noon Final Tables. I am about to stab myself in the ears. As are half the other players. All I can say is "Thank god for my Ipod and BOSE noise cancelling headphones!" Ya'all been to a strip club? Never mind, you're reading my blog, of COURSE you have. You all know those DJ's in those places right? They all sound exactly the same. Very annoying right? That is Allen. Only worse. Because it's poker. Its gotten worse, he wasnt doing it before in the SNG's, but now he is doing it there too. I've been told they have said something to him about it. Only thing is, he doesn't believe them. He thinks he sounds good from what I hear. Allen, for the love of God, if you are reading this....I implore you....STOP! You are a super, super nice guy. All your fellow employees tell me that. And I've got the highest regard for you...as a human. But get that microphone in your hand? And I want to start inventing methods to kill you...like the dude on Saw 1 through 40!

The other one...came yesterday, and we can only hope it won't be returning. Their is this waitress there. I can't remember her name. I met her a couple years ago. She has a really pretty face. And has this very nice southern accent. And she has a beautiful rack. Okay? Sounds pretty good huh? And for that matter, she is also a very good waitress.

Cue the negative. She has a rather large ass. (no big deal, it happens, I know) But you can start marking her down now. Well, I met her after she had been in a major car accident, so upon talking to her for a while...discovered that she had a few screws loose. Mentally. Nothing has changed. Except one thing. She has developed something since I last saw her. This very irritating way of offereing beverages. Its like she went to the worst speech pathologist to ever roam the planet, and he taught her to talk like a fucking puppet. When she talks her mouth moves like one of those wooden ventriloquist dolls. And the words come out sounding very mechanical.

"Duh-rinks. Would a-n-y-o-n-e like a duh-rink? Wah-ter, Red Bull....drinkssssssssss" Yes. She is dragging the s. Like a snake. SSSSSSSSSSSSs. Oh no. No!!!!!! As she comes near I am completely focusing on her mouth...watching it move like someone has their hand up her back controlling it....her eyes never blinking or moving....I am almost convinced she IS a puppet. Weird. So I mention this to the table. Now I have them ALL freaking out! But I have my iPod and they dont! Mwahhhhhh!!!!! So everytime she returned from the bar with a tray full of drinkssssssssssss.....my iPod went back on and they all went on tilt!

Back to the action. Its 9:57am...I would really like to catch another hour of sun AND be on time for todays $550, my last shot to Final Table a meaningful tourney this week.

So my table breaks. I am getting very low on chips, and discouraged. I spent a lot of my stack trying to bust this guy at our other table. He was in the 4 seat. He has a beard. And I had nothing against this guy. He won an earlier event this week, so I know he is an okay player. I also think he has a bit of a habit that involves white stuff. Why? Actually I was tipped off by another player. Then as I started to watch him it became very clear. He was hitting the bathroom about every 17 minutes. On average. And I am watching his eyes...and his demeanor...and yeah, it was about 93% in my mind. Well, then he pulls a very dick move. VERY DICK MOVE...one which you all KNOW I loathe. And it wasn't even against ME...but I felt like it was. This would earn this guy a $100 silent bounty on his ass...which I was only too eager to pay...but never got the chance to.

He was in a hand with Carl Miller. Carl had raised him with K10. Okay, we will forgive him for that. King ten.......grrrrrr....asshole calls with QJ. Flop comes K-10-Q. Guy checks. Carl bets. Guy calls.  8 hits the turn. Guy checks. Carl bets big. Guy raises Carl. Carl calls. Then a JACK hits the river. Not a good card really for either of them. Carl actually makes a big mistake by reacting in a way that suggests he can't beat a straight. Never show emotion there. NEVER! He basically enabled the guy to make the play...and he does, going all in. Which, if its ME? I'm thinking to myself..if this guy HAS an ace...why would he go all in? The only way is if he DOES have the ace...and KNOWS I do too...and just goes all in hopes that I make a stupid fold. Its still a hard place for Carl to call...but his antics after the river card hit have fucked him now. He folds. But he folds face up and shows the K10. Well, instead of just mucking, this guy decides to be the world's biggest prick and show Carl the QJ. Asshole! The whole table grumbles. And when he gets to the 17 minute mark of his trip to go 'powder his nose' I put the bounty on. Poor Carl. But Carl would rebound...and would still be alive when I got deposed in 16th place at 9pm. Oh...yeah, I hadn't gotten there, had I?

Well, since you now know the end result, I will tell you how it happened. Upon moving to the new table, I look down at QQ on the first hand. How fitting, I think to myself. Instead of going all in though, I am almost inviting someone to bust me with the hated QQ again. So I just raise 3x, leaving 4500 behind. Asian underwear boy in the BB starts going into his Hollywood antics. Moving his chips all over the place...counting, recounting...(he would do this about 3 other times in other hands) then asking me how many chips I have behind. The dealer defends me..."Sir, we are not required to give you an exact count of his chips until and unless you act on his raise." Thanks dear. But I respond with "you know why don't we just tell clownboy exactly how many chips I have....4, 475 sir." I think I got to him...he goes all in with a shrug. I call. He has AJ. My QQ somehow wins. And now I am back up to around 16k. Hmmm. Nice?

I almost forgot to mention how my day started yesterday. Not with the sunny backyard experience. Nope. It started with me stepping on a roofing nail, the kind with the flat bottom...then the nail? It was under my throw rug on the patio...sticking straight up. Yeah...I put it all the way in my foot. It bled for 30 minutes...didn't hurt much yesterday, but now as I type this I am feeling pain in the bottom of my foot. Might want to go see about a shot, especially now that I have health coverage, eh?

That table breaks. I go to another one. On the button when I am in the BB is Justin Allen, or 'LockdownTex' to some of you. Justin and I are cordial. He is semi-buddies with Brandon Jarrett and some of my other 'associates'. There is something about Justin that never changes though. He likes to button raise. A LOT! You all know I don't do that shit. I raise on the button with Top 10 and Top 10 only most of the time. Maybe top 15, if the blinds can't hurt my stack too much. But never with shit like J2, K3, Q5. Justin has no such requirements. Well, he took liberty on my blinds. Several times. Only he was getting caught. A lot. He doubled up one guy three times. His stack was up and down more than the hooker's head who charges $20 for blow jobs down on Canal Street in New Orleans.

I took him for a chunk, when after he raised I found QQ again and just shipped it. I was quickly getting healthy, and we were getting really close to the Final Table. We were now down to almost 2 tables. I was allowing myself to start getting interested. I really wanted three things. A WIN! And a ring, and a entry into the 9-man freeroll. And a good score for my backer and me before heading to Venetian on Tuesday. And of course, more POY points, and some much craved local respect. All those things are awesome. I was feeling it. And with me holding 32k...and Justin again raising my blind...and this time he doesnt even display ANY kind of pot control, he just grabs a stack and raises...I look down at 10-10. Gotcha fucker! I hope. I put him all in. Wouldn't have even mattered if I had flatted there and played after the flop. He had put in 75% of his chips preflop...he would have pot committed himself  to call on the 9-high flop holding over cards. He turns over Q-J offsuit. Please let this hold. As I said, flop comes 9 high. Good so far. King on the turn....come on baby, come on baby....hold....get me up to almost 50k here......the river??? A fucking JACK! Son of a bitch! My stomach just sank. Didn't say a word. Just sat there, disgusted. Put my stack at a meager 7k. Shit!

I move all in with A7 and get called, reluctantly...but called, by Captain Tom Franklin...with Qd10d. Oh, I know I am losing this one! But I don't. Wow. Double up. Back to 15k. Okay, we have hope. BTW, Captain Tom is a guy who I have had my share of battles with the last few years...and a few of them have been pretty well documented on here. In fact, I could never stand the guy. Well, we seem to have found some common ground with one another, and I think he might even kind of be starting to like me a little bit. Sometimes, I think if you do a good share of winning, that might be all it takes, but I also think he sees a lot of himself in me too. So him and I are okay now, I think.

Our table breaks. They do a redraw for the final 18. A couple players go out. Down to 16. 7 way from the Final Table. Come on cards. Then this guy raises UTG. With no SB. He had just made a crazy play a few hands earlier with 66. I look at KJs. Oh boy. Count my chips. 14,500. Blinds are 1500/3000. I am running out of time. Could this guy be just stealing? Are my cards live? Will I get another hand better than this before I blind out? I tank for awhile. Large crowds are starting to assemble. Pressure. You know what? This is that juncture in the tourney...where if you are going to make it...you have to gamble. I move all in. His raise of 9k pot commits him to the call. Ummmm, yeah he wasn't folding anyway, as he rolls over AA. Oh good god! Again? I've been finding AA all week!

Auggie, the dealer...puts out a very interesting flop. A-10-5...two spades! But a set for him. That is when I utter this...."Auggie, please dont turn me a flush and river him a boat." What does he do? Guess you know dontcha? Turns me the 2 of spades for the flush and rivers the 5 of hearts for a heart-stabbing full house. I just close my eyes. Good lord. Why? Out. 16th.

I go play a $65 SNG in comatose mode. Drink as many margaritas as I can get my hands on. Do win the $20 last longer with 4 players...so I didnt lose any money. Then get it in with AQ vs AK and it holds...out, 5th. I slither on home.

During the day, I was given tickets to the Lenny Kravitz concert by the great guys at the IP. Its tonight at 8pm. If I go, that means I busted out of the $550. So secretly, I hope I miss the show. But not because I am sitting there getting blinded out...and bust short of the money at like 9 or 10 like last night. No, I hope I am sitting on a huge mountain of chips...and maybe even step away and go stick my head in the theatre to check out the show.

These guys have done such a super job with this event. They have even mentioned that they are going to finally get rid of these stupid chips that all look the same, with the IP logo pasted on the chip...so you have to strain to see which denomination they are. One gripe everyone seems to have is the $5 food voucher they pass out at the dinner break. Five bucks? Its kind of a slap in the face. Players are accustomed to getting either $15 food comps or just BUFFET comps. A $5 food comp is kind of insulting. I would think they will fix that too. They are really doing everything they can to make the players happy, so I have no doubt that at the next event that will change also.

The field sizes have really been disappointing. No one has a good answer for why. But there are a lot of theories. Buy in werent BIG enough, thus not attracting the right players. Not enough advertising was done. Bad timing. Who really knows? But they did do a good job, had a great room, good dealers, and fantastic structure. So they have laid a really good foundation for the next event, whenever that is. There is talk of going head-to-head with the Beau Rivage in January. That could be interesting/exciting. It would pretty much KILL Tunica, wouldn't it? If they do the start times right, and plan the events right, I could see both places running a very kickass lineup together. And attract a lot of outside players. Now if we just had a damn strip club in this town!!!!!

I have NO idea what to expect for the Main Event. It's a $3k buy in. Today's $550 will be the largest so far. No idea how many to expect today either. I will do a live mobil blog when I get there and tell you all how many are in today. But tomorrow is Mega satellite day ($340 megas) followed by the Main Event on Sunday. I will NOT buy in directly unless we get 120 or more. Its just not a good move, value-wise. So I hope to Mega my way in like I so often do. Yeah, that $3000 will come in a lot more handy in Vegas...where I can buy into SIX $550s there with a chance to win over $50k in everyone of them. They are running megas today too...in case disaster strikes and I lose early in today's noon event. But that isn't going to happen is it? Becuase I am going to final table this sucker!

Okay well, its 10:38am. Sun? Maybe 45 minutes worth! Big day in college football tomorrow. I know Squirrel is fired up for her Crimson Tide. That line of 8.5 seems a little high to me. As does Florida's 34.5 over Vandy. At any rate...hope you all have a great weekend.

And again...to those of you, and there have been a surprisingly large number of you...that have told me you read and enjoy my blog...THANK YOU! I have to admit, its had an effect on how I act at the table I think. Not wanting to say anything negative to someone who reads this, or show my ass in any way. I feel almost...I don't know, like I have a bit of a responsibility now to not act like a raging fool! But I am still trying to entertain and amuse you guys...without really 'trying' at all!!!! Thats just me being me!

MONKEY