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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Time for a Blog I guess.....updates, and Breaking News.

Here we are...Tuesday night, watching American Idol with Squirrel, after flooding the bathroom while running a hot bath and rooting for the Lakers/Thunder game to go over 194!!!!

We have hit the stretch run in the IP tourney. Just got off of my AIM after talking to my buddy Joe Cutler, who is still in the Main up at Borgata...going to Day 3 with 85 BBs...as he shoots for 388k! Nice.

Oh wait...OMG...I'm looking at yet another irritating, disparaging comment that I decided to go ahead and publish. Whatever. The pettiness, the haters, the jealousy that exists in this game of poker, is quickly making me loathe a good percentage of the people who participate in this 'sport'. I know, I know...those of you who ARE cool, who ARE on my level (mentally and/or philosophically) will tell me not to let it bother me...but jeezuz man, I am an effing human being, and things bother me.

So I guess I am now 'name dropping' anytime I mention a friend's name who makes a big hit or gets on TV or something. It's utterly ridiculous. I've addressed this so many times I'm blue in the face. If you have been reading my blog for two years...you would know these names...long before they ever 'hit a big score.' But its much easier to float by, read a name of someone who just canned 870k or 1.8m and think I am somehow trying to 'attach' myself to them, right?

First things first...as for 'would any of these people loan you money?' Um...for the record, I would never ASK any one of them for money. In fact, I would never ask any friend, or relative to loan me money. I never have. When we were robbed, we actually had family members either offer us, or SEND us money...none of which we accepted. But...if I DID have a reason to NEED money from these people? And asked them as a friend, then I would have to say the answer would be yes. What I DID have were people who play my pools 'donate' monkey to the Monkey Recovery Fund...and it was very cool! And in return I gave them 'Good Karma' free entries in future pools. Three of those people, with free entries, went on to cash in the March Madness pools and/or the Masters Pools. I think its pretty cool how karma works sometimes, both good AND bad.

As for,  'did any of these people offer up any bounty money for the people who robbed us?' The answer to that question is a resounding 'YES'. I am not sure why you people have such a hard time understanding that these people are my friends. Is it because you WISH you had friends who were successful poker players, and because you don't, it feels good to try and belittle me and suggest that I am 'name dropping?' Give me a fucking break. We are all a bunch of people who for years have been grinding our asses off trying to find some success in a fucking card game. You dipshit. I don't hold ONE of these people in 'rock star' status as some of you seem to. And trust me, the ones who have hit big, and ARE my friends, do not think they are anything 'special' other than a guy who had a good day at the table. If these people were the types to win one big tourney and suddenly turn into a pompous dick, then they would have never been my friends in the first place. I do not allow myself to spend the 'off hours' from the poker table with conceited, pompous assholes. ESPECIALLY the kind who play POKER! You kidding me? I run and hide from those fools!

Check my EGO? My head is big enough? What the fuck? I have an ego because of who my friends are? Because I get excited for them having won a big tournament? You jealous jackasses are really, really, really making me hate poker. For real. I truly look forward to the day I win my million or more, and just VANISH from the poker landscape...and laugh the last laugh...as you boneheads who show up for every event...and never make a Final Table...but find the time to log onto my poker blog and throw barbs at me flounder in failure and anonymity. Check MY ego? Dude...check yourself! For real.

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I know that I am getting sick of poker when I make 4 final tables in the last 5 days and am not the least bit excited about it. I'm mostly pissed off about (a) the fact I didn't win any of them and (b) the 5th one that I should have made, I also should have won....as I was dominating the damn thing the whole way until a 6-hand calamity doomed me to an 11th place finish.

Yeah...I know, I've fallen a little behind here. There has been a lot happening this week, some of it I don't feel too comfortable talking about...mainly because there are still some pressing issues surrounding a few things, and I am holding out hope that some things might change still.

Just to recap...I finished 9th in the first noon event. The next day I finished...you know what? I can't remember, wow! It was either 4th or 5th. Then the next day in the $550, a tourney I really wanted to win...we got down to 3...two other really good players, James Ray (oops, is that a name drop!???? Maybe not yet...since 'ol James hasn't won a million or been on a TV final table yet) and Rusty Moorer (who finished 5th recently in the Beau Rivage's Main Event)...and we were all pretty even. But then Rusty just got drilled with the deck...I mean...it was ridiculous. I was sitting there patiently waiting for a double up. Then James and Rusty got it all in...and with 3rd being $3100 and 2nd being $6000+ I would be lying if I said I wasn't rooting for Rusty's kings to hold up against Jame's Ac7c...but when James rivered a flush, I couldn't help being happy for James. Then I got into a spot where I couldn't really fold. I raised with QhJh...and when Rusty moved in on me....I just didn't like what my stack was going to look like if I folded and the blinds going up on the next hand. I was up against 10-10 and even Rusty claimed it was a good call. Well, I didn't hit a damn thing and was out 3rd.

Squirrel made it down for the last part of the Final Table...there is a bizarre trend developing this week. When Squirrel shows up...I lose. When she calls me on my phone, disaster strikes. When she texts me...the ship hits an iceberg. Weird. If you remember back to the Final Table in the New Orleans December Main Event...she drove over from Biloxi...and what happened? I got 'Erin Holt-ed' and flamed out in 8th place!

After the Final Table was over we got together with Floor Supervisor Jason "Bozz" Boslough and a couple of dealers, Adrian (who would later destroy me in that 6-hand calamity but is a really cool guy and fine dealer) and another kid named Tyler who also deals and plays a fair amount. We went over to Claudia Crawford's house and hung out there with her, Brandon Jarrett and some other people for awhile...then we went to some new club at Hard Rock. As we were arriving we were told about someone who blew their brains out in the parking deck. Whoa. Kind of a buzz kill. Honestly, I kind of surprised this doesn't happen more often. Especially with the economy being the way it is...and people trying to 'get right' by gambling their way out of the hole. The club was...mmmmm...I don't know, kind of cramped and annoying. A few of my friends commented that they felt like they were in Japan...as it was predominantly Asian.

Then the buckle on my belt broke. Yeah...BROKE. And my very oversized jeans began to slide down my waist. Shit. Everyone decided they wanted to go to Venues for drinks and food. I convinced Squirrel to go home instead. Whewwwww.

Sunday I stayed at home. Brandon and Claudia came over around 5pm and we grilled out. And of course worked in a session online. I literally went OH for Sunday...failing to cash ONE freaking time! Ridiculous! Squirrel had all her girlfriends over for 'Big Deuce'...which ran until 5 or 6am...when she comes into our room, rips the pillow out from under my head (I guess it was 'her' pillow) and then expresses shock when I was woken up by this act of discreet thievery. Pffft. Thanks sweetie! I never got back to sleep really.

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Monday was a $240. Yeah yeah...another non-P.O.Y. event that was attended by only 61 players. I got out to a pretty good start, as I have in almost all the tourneys so far. The play in these has been pretty predictable. Predictably horrible. But nothing like St. Louis. Well, almost. I have seen some plays...a LOT today actually, that I simply wouldn't have believed if one of you tried to tell me about it. The kind of shit you see online...and think it only happended because they knew which cards were coming. Know what I mean?

Well, I still managed to get up to about 12k, and was in a pretty good mood...then it happened. My phone rang. I look down... 702-777-7777. Whoa. That's Harrahs. I know that number. Two days prior my 'friend request' on Facebook had been accepted by Jack Effel of Harrah's.  Which...to me, was kind of an encouraging sign...as I put it at 5 to 1 'against' it getting confirmed. Coupled with my spotless behavioral record at the St. Louis event...and all the other events run by Jimmy Sommerfeld this year, who works with Jack at the Series...and him calling before even the New Orleans event had been played, and me being able to again demonstrate my 'newfound ability to behave' I could only think that this was about to be a good phone call.

I stepped away from the table to take the call. And for 10 minutes (it felt like 10...I don't know, maybe it was 5 or 6) I listened to Jack....ummm....well, it almost felt like a prepared statement that was being read to me. And I could swear I was on speaker phone. Which gave me sort of a creepy feeling that I was being put under the microscope...like someone was waiting for me to explode when the news was delivered to me that I would not be allowed to participate in this year's 2010 World Series of Poker in Las Vegas at the Rio All Suites and Resort Casino. However, I was fully encouraged to take part in all other Harrah's events, including the upcoming event in New Orleans.

Was I mad? Did I 'blow up' or freak out? Well, no. Not because I wasn't upset or disappointed. I guess mainly because I was sitting there with my mouth agape and more or less in shock. I could sit here and tell you everything he told me, but honestly, why?

(a) It's not going to change anything, apparantly.
(b) Half of you will be mad FOR me, and want to defend me...and make your rants against Harrah's...and the other half will celebrate another Monkey Ban...leave nasty comments on my message board, and gossip around the table and watering holes about what a fuck up Monkey is, and how he just got banned from the World Series.
(c) Jack told me 'if I keep my nose clean for another year' that I may very well be able to return again in 2011. So...since the WSOP in the summer is THE most lucrative event on the planet every year...and affords me the opportunity to do something that will allow me to make a score and get the hell OUT of this game...I kind of need to do everything in my power...not that I didn't THINK I had been doing everything already, but aparantly it hasnt been enough....to afford myself the chance to get myself back in the doors of the Rio. Coming on here, in this blog, that has caused such a firestorm for me in the past year or two...and completely coming unglued would undoubtedly just make things worse.
(d) I've learned...the hard way, that a lot of people out there who pretend to like me, support me and/or share my views on things, are actually full of shit. So I am, slowly...beginning to form a shell around me, letting a lot less in, letting a lot less out...and gradually becoming more and more of an introvert. The stigma that exists among the 'powers that be' that Monkey is this guy who is wild, crazy, and just comes to annoy people? Haven't sat at my table lately. Because honestly, what they would see these days..is a guy who is on the precipice of depression, talking very little to anyone, putting on my BOSE headphones and trying to disappear...and just going through the motions of another tourney...trying to win some money so I can keep living this irritating, frustrating life of mine. Going home to my wife after being gone for two or three weeks, with just enough winnings to pay another 3 or 4 months of bills, and listening to her bitch about how much I'm gone, about not wanting to have a baby because I am never home. So...am I upset that instead of going for 1 to 3 million dollars every tourney in Las Vegas this summer I will instead be going for 50k to 100k in all the Venetian events? Fuck yes!

So there ya go haters. There is your breaking news flash. Go ahead, pile on. Make your comments. I don't care anymore. I have never been 86'd from Rio in my life, in fact never had a penalty placed on me. Not once. Casinos that I have been thrown out of...albeit it 5 YEARS ago...I am allowed to continue playing at. But because some of the powers that be 'fear what I might possibly do, based on past episodes (again, 5 years ago!)' I am not being allowed to play in the biggest poker tournament on the planet. That is exactly what I have been told. No more, no less. I am not hiding anything from you. There was nothing else. So while a guy from Moldovia might decide to come to the USA this summer, walk in with a loaded Uzi...yeah, there are no metal detectors at the World Series...which I have always thought to be incredibly odd...and empty a clip on a room full of poker players...thats right....MIGHT....maybe we should just start disallowing anyone and everyone who MIGHT do something that will cause a ruckus. Not because they have already...but because they MIGHT. Seems fair, doesnt it?

It is what it is. You haters now have your ounce of Monkey flesh. Enjoy it. And don't hesitate to add a little Heinz 57 for flavor.

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So on Monday....I come back with 42k in chips after dinner break. The average was 32k. On the first hand, Adrian gives me 66 in the SB. I raise, BB folds. 45k. Next hand...on the button, I raise with A6h. To 4500. SB goes all in for 5000. Of course I call. He has A10. Fair enough. It holds. No big deal. Very next hand...at cutoff I raise with AcKc. Same guy goes all in. I call. He has 1010. Okay, a race. Flop comes 10h-4c-7c. He pounds the table and starts celebrating. I am hoping he black-catted himself...and root (silently, in my head...no overtly, like this baboon) for a club. No club comes. Fuck. There goes another 12k. Couple hands of no action, then ...UTG raises...I peek down at QQ. Shit. A guy two players over re-raises to 15k. Wow. I fold easily in the BB. Very next hand...now in the SB....I look down...at...again..>QQ! I snicker. It folds around to me. I raise to 5k. Guy in the BB calls. Flop comes J-4-4...two spades. I just move in. Not screwing around. He snap calls....with As8s. Shit. Flush draw...all I'm looking at...but when a 4 hits the turn...I feel like I just doubled back up to around 35k. But what happens instead? A FUCKING ACE hits the river. I about shit. In fact...I think I did. I now have 4500 chips at 800/1600. Incredible. So when it folds around to me on the button and I look at 4s5s I feel like I only have one move...and that its not a bad 'live hand' to shove with. I do. I get called...again by Mr. Table Pounder...who by the way...wouldn't cash either (incredibly). He has 10-7. I turn a 5....hmmmm...win this hand and there is still hope. But on the river Adrian delivers a 7...and I am crushed.

No 4 final tables in a row for me. I was really demoralized. I've made 3 in a row a couple times...but never 4...that would have been awesome. I go jump in the 7pm...and my heart was never in it. I played like a complete maniac...shoving when 4 or more people limped in...and was actualy doing quite well with that strategy...until with 16 left a guy limped in with KK....and behind 4 other limpers I jammed with 8h9h. I did flop an 8....and turned a straight draw...but went tits up on the river. I left quietly.

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Tuesday I arrived in a bad mood. And I sat down at the table from hell. Two players who play any two cards. Overbet every hand. Call with gutshots. Suck out relentlessly. How I made it as long as I did, I have no idea. When I finally got zapped at 5pm, I was almost relieved. Plus it gave me time to go by into the Omaha H/L limit tourney...the same one that I won last fall. There was a huge field...21 players.  :)  I almost won again. But didn't. But still...it was fun, I always have fun playing Omaha. I took 3rd place for a decent $800....$240 buy in, so at least I turned a small profit on the day, and made my 4th final table of the event. Kenny Milam has 3, pretty sure he must have won yesterday, he had a shit load of chips when I left...and Pam, my friend from Panama City...who's boyfriend was one of the two remaining in the Omaha tourney when I busted...also has 3 on the trip...so hell, they sure had a good day, right?

Today is a $340...and its now 20 minutes til and I haven't showered yet. So...looks like I will be late again, and sitting in seat freaking 1 or 10. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

At least its sunny and beautiful again. Thats about 5 days in a row of that. But windy....really, super windy...whats up with that? Like a hurricane without the rain and flooding! And oh yeah...death!

MONKEY

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