New Profession for Squirrel?

My wife has truly lost it.

We both woke up today at about 2pm. She was out at Venues celebrating her fellow employees' going away party, and I was on 'Stars trying to win the late-night $33 MTT. With 15 left, I made a 'I'm too tired to keep playing this damn tourney and will make a loose call' play that knocked me out. I then passed out.

I woke up. Fed the dogs. Made Squirrel coffee...and logged on to 'Stars. When the dust cleared, I had made a grand total on the day of $108. I played maybe 25 MTT's, cashed about 14 of them...but nothing more than a $100 score in something I can't remember. Yesterday, I started the day with a WIN in one of those $12/180pp deals for $596. Great way to start the day. But ended the day with a $480 profit total. Had another 14th place finish....ugh! And about two or three other deep runs. Today in my first $12/180 I got to the Final Table with the small stack...but doubled up with QQ vs. A9 then 77 vs. Q5 and thought I might just duplicate yesterday. Nope. Out 7th.

So...I am geeked for tomorrow. Going to play the Sunday Million for the 1st time in quite awhile. Have a seat in the Lamborghini Freerool too. And then I plan to get after just about every tounery in the online poker room under $100. I fell short of Top 100 this week...finishing 114th. Oh well, but on the Top 1000 for the month, which gets you into a $30k Freeroll...I've still got a good shot..sittin in 1035th right now. A strong day tomorrow could really help.

So, oh yeah. The wife. She wakes up....drinks her coffee...and it begins.

"Jasper, you want a haircut boy?"

To the garage...Jasper, a black lab with long hair (generally) is now in love with getting his hair cut (shaved) by Mamma. He used to fight it. Now he trots out to the garage...plops down...and you would think he was at the spa getting a massage. She spends about an hour with the clippers turning him into one of those fuzzy lint brushes.

Then its off to the backyard...which is now half brown and half green after I dropped two bags of weed & feed on it 4 days ago. Guess that means half of my golf course-like yard was actually some form of weeds. Nice. Time for the dogs to get baths. Another half hour. Jasper also now loves getting baths. Mollie still hates it.

Then she starts on the inside of the house. It is 12:55am as I type this...she is still walking around cleaning. Bed linens, pillow cases, duvet cover...cleaned. All laundry. Done. Floors, swept and mopped. All bathrooms cleaned. Ceiling fans, cleaned. Everything in the house dusted. I'm sure there is more...but I have just been watching with fascination as she has been gallavanting around the house....oh...there is that noise again right NOW...almost forget about the vaccuum. That too. Obviously.

Are we expecting guests? Not that I am aware of. Unless Smiling Don from....ahem, not supposed to label him as from St. Louis anymore...due to the connotation attached to anyone from STL and the fact he actually lives in Marion, Illinois. So...Smilin Don from Marion, if he chooses to come down here for the Beau Rivage event...which, at this moment, I still do not know if I am 'eligible' to participate in.

Going to Pensacola Tuesday to finally do my taxes. Found out my extension that was filed is good til October, so I am okay. Then in 4 months it will be time to do them again!

Probably go by my rental property over there too, to see just HOW dead my once beautiful yard over there is, after my recent tenant has been locked in a chicken match with me over the question...'have you been using the sprinkler system that I programmed?' or 'have you been ducking the expensive water bill by turning the shit off and lying about it?' It's been my favorite little game of the summer.

Anyone watch 'My Name is Earl' with Jamie Pressley? There is a lot of similarities with Squirrel there. And with Squirrel running around in my boxers and a wife-beater tank top...she looks just like 'Joy' on that show. Yes...some ideas are stirring in my head! However, I can't help but think maybe she should be going into business as a 'Personal Maid to the Stars'...except that we live in Biloxi...and, uh....well....nuff said.

I decided to watch the Bristol NASCAR race today. In between flip backs to Little League World Series...where my boys from Washington state were rallying to beat the bully kids from Minnesota. I sit through the first 487 laps...watching Kyle Busch continue to dominate the weekend, and then...right on cue, FALL ASLEEP for the last 13 laps. Perfect. The mole won again. Whatever you think of the twerp, he has WON 10 out of 20 freaking Busch...errrrr...scuse me, Nationwide...races that he has run this year. Insane. I miss driving NASCAR. Wait, what? Okay...I did the Richard Petty Driving Experience out in Vegas about 5 years ago...and it rocked. I want to do it again. But this time with other cars on the track, no speed limit...and a trophy to the winner, with that stupid girl from Sprint who stands there in the winners area after the race smiling that big, fake, stupid smile and laughing at everything I say to the reporter who comes over to ask silly questions and get splashed by the shaken up Gatorade that I spray all over my pit crew. Hmm...why do we shake up the Gatorade? Is it like champagne?

My Seahawks just lost in the final minute of their 2nd preseason game, at home, to the Packers. This is an all-too-familiar scenario for them the last few years. Lead all game...give away game late. Okay, its preseason, not gonna get too worked up about it.

Everybody is hyping my QB at Washington, Jake Locker to be the #1 overall pick in the NFL draft next year...and have him as the All-American QB. Feels curse-ish. I don't like it. I hate our schedule. Our defense is awful...unless something magical happens overnight. But I like our coach. I just don't see us winning more than 6 or 7 games. I am prepared to be surprised.

Hmmm....late night session on Stars tonight? Or a melatonin, 3 chapters of my latest book by David Baldacci, "The Winner"???? Thats the question. Probably should go with the latter. Get up by noon, and have a killer day online tomorrow. Oh yeah...started taking melatonin this week. Squirrel used to try and share her Ambien's with me...but I try real hard not to be TOO medicated. And isnt that stuff addictive? So I tried Melatonin. Wow! I have been sleeping like a log...or a bear...or a baby...or whatever the comparison is that works there...and having dreams that would freak out a lunatic. Today's dream had me playing tight end for Biloxi High School...and it was raining, and I couldn't figure out if we had a game or were rained out. I got the phone number of our athletic director, Les Myles...and was fervently trying to reach him to find out if we had a game or not. I was woken up by Squirrel telling me to stick the comforter back into the duvet cover. No word on whether I played that game or not.

Have a nice Sunday.

Monkey