Scandals...commercials, and oil.

Almost no poker to report on. Simply hiding at my house to play online poker. Its getting almost laughable. Get deep, bubble. Get deep bubble. Get deep in an MTT...light cash after a two-outer. Win a $12 SNG to get all the losses back. Go right back to the start....and do it all again. I have, I swear, finished 11th-14th in 2000+ MTT's in the last month...about ten times. I could easily be sitting on a 15k profit this month. Instead...I'm about +$500. Ridiculous.

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I've been watching a LOT of TV and doing a lot of playing with my dogs. Jasper will bring me that damn ball no matter where I am. In bed. In the bathtub. Mowing the lawn. Washing my car. Vacuuming. During sex. And Mollie...she needs, must have...something to destroy. Squirrel has spent about $1000 in the last 12 months I would guess on those stuffed animals that squeak. She will play with them for about 3 days or so...then its time to die. She tears all the stuffing out of them...then locates the squeaker...and it dies too. Once they have been drained...she pretty much ignores them. We currently need a new batch of animals. And since we are out...she made my new flip flop her chew toy last night.

TV. Squirrel was staying up all night watching Grey's Anatomy the whole time I was gone, and telling me how great it was. So the other night I stayed up with her watching Season 5, til 7am the next day...and she was right. It's a great show. So I'm now hooked on that. While I was in Tunica I was watching USA Network, and this show kept coming on....Law & Order: Criminal Intent. After about three episodes I was ready to smash the TV. Vincent D'onofrio plays this character who stumbles around, babbles incoherantly at times...and looks every bit like a character who is emulating Monk. Only he is not convincing. And really annoying. I dare you to watch it.

Commercials. There are some really funny ones out there. The VW commercial where the husband and wife are out on a test drive...talking about how conservative they are...then, while behind two semis she starts screaming "oohhhh shoot the gap!!! Shooooooot the gap!!!!" And then two seconds later she's all calm again. Hilarious.

Anything with Betty White in it is now funny. Seen the commercial for Poly-Grip? Where the old lady makes the goofy ass face as she laments the 'goo' associated with most denture cream? Priceless.

All these FreeCreditScore.com commercials? With the new, auditioning singers/bands? Didn't they understand that we all hated that first band...like, it was a TV muter...why do they think we want another one? IF anyone out there liked the old band...or any of these new ones, and they are on my Facebook friends list? Please kick yourself off, NOW! Also that pale-faced Betty Boop wanna-be in those Progressive Insurance commercials? Another TV-muter.

"Do you have any accidents? No? DISCOUNT! Do you smoke? No? DISCCCOUNNNT! DISCOUNT DISCOUNT DISCOUNT!!!!!!!" Oh how Squirrel and I hate that broad!

There is more...but I am forgetting ....I will plug them in as I remember.

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When you are woken up at 7am by people doing yard work...what is the proper way to respond to this? Further complicating this is the fact they are all non-English speaking laborers. Can anyone help me here?

Along those same lines...these door-to-door saleman that come at all hours of the day? And since all I do is play poker and lay around on my ass, I happen to be here when they knock on my door. How do you handle them? Newspaper? Do I want to buy the newspaper? They still print newspapers? Oh...do I want to get Satellite TV service? No. And could you be any less charismatic? Candy bar? For a school trip? Sure...I guess I'll buy a candy bar. How much? FIVE DOLLARS? Great. Okay kid, you got me, ya little rapist. Do I have a local church that I attend? Have I got a good relationship with God? Oh boy. They just keep coming and coming. And while I try really hard to be nice...it gets to the point...usually after saying No about 5 times, and having to support each NO with a long-winded essay on WHY...where you finally just lose it.

"LISTEN FUCKER...I SAID NO! I MEAN NO...NOW GET THE FUCK OFF MY FRONT PORCH! BEFORE I SIC MY DOGS (shhhh I know, thats a joke, right! Jasper? Mollie?) ON YOU!!!!"

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Got started on all my football pools and fantasy league stuff today. Lots to do there...reactivating, emailing everyone. This should be a pretty fun season. I love football season. If anyone out there who reads my blogs wants info on how to get into my pools or fantasy leagues....just shoot me an email at ThePoolMonkey@aol.com

My buddy Charlie "Smoke" Oliver just got this APP he's been working on for Apple approved today. I know he's been working on it for months...and was pretty excited about it. Something called LasVegasList...which I think has to do with being a list of anything and everything you could want to do while in Vegas. I told him to send me something about it and I would add a link to it on this blog...so watch for it. I always try to help my buddies out wherever I can.

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Ready for some scandal? First of all...WOW! Lots of reader comments this week. Thanks! The other day I reported that my, ahem...buddy Jim Pedullah was terminated from Ceaser's Palace in Las Vegas. It was confirmed by three sources. After someone, I don't know who...left a comment saying it was just a rumor, I did some follow up checking...and its completely legit. And...in a comment I was asked not to publish, for obvious reasons, it was shared with me that he was let go for two reasons: a) Not meeting his numbers and (b) Holding back a sexual harrassment claim. I have no idea if the claim was made against him personally, or another employee in the poker room. Regardless, in this corporate environment, I think we all know what a hot potato that topic is. I would wish him well, and hope he finds another job...but its just a little tough, given the damage he has done to me both personally and professionally.

On the same subject, but in a different forum, and I am going to keep this VERY vague, because I do NOT want it coming back to affect me; this summer, in a very large poker venue, a female dealer was being continually harrassed by a very senior floor person. She happens to be married. To another dealer. When she reported this to a superior, she was assured that it would be dealt with. But instead, she was forced to work worse shifts, as was her husband. She was then subjected to more ridicule over having made the claim. So instead of it getting resolved, it actually got worse. I recieved a whole account of the episode from a fellow dealer...and asked that I help them out. But the truth is, I have enough of my own problems to deal with...and there is NO WAY I am going to go '60 Minutes' in anyway and cost myself a chance at playing at another casino. Was the story credible? Oh yeah. Sure it was. As a result, the couple ended up quitting their jobs over it...and are now looking for employment elsewhere.

This is the kind of stuff that makes me furious. Mainly because apparantly its pretty rampant...and no one is able to seek help, because if they do, guess what happens? They get blacklisted. Just like if I try to help people, or help my fellow players by writing about things on here that players are talking about...it suddenly becomes MY issue...and I end up getting screwed over it. Poker is a very tight knit community, and it is also kind of a network that is controlled by a handful. So to find yourself in a bad spot with one of those people who control the network, you are pretty much screwed.

Why am I telling you this? Well, as a poker employee, I hope it serves as caution to know what you're up against, and use caution. As a poker player...I want to let you know that you are never bulletproof in this game. This comes from someone who has found out the hard way. And I am fighting to get myself back in the good graces of all of them. As a fan of poker who just reads my blog because you think its interesting? Well, I don't know what you will think of this...other than it probably makes poker more exciting somehow.

My secret desire in this game of poker is to win a HUGE event, sign a big deal with someone...and start a foundation of some kind that works to help dealers and/or players who have been screwed somehow. Set up a fund for dealers or other employees wrongfully terminated...that can't pay their bills...to help them out. Also be able to help them find work. Players who get hosed for one reason or another, work on their behalf to find a solution. I don't know...I guess the desire to do that stems from my wishing there had been someone there to help me when all this BS went down at Ceaser's last summer...that cost me both a chance to win that damn tourney ($17k for 1st) and every other tourney from that point on at Rio. With the right people in my corner, I think I could have avoided this ridiculous Rio ban that's been in place for the past two summers. And now, as this guy gets canned, and walked off the property...I'm supposed to feel better right? Like I've had some form of revenge? The thing about it, is that I really don't feel that way at all. I knew what kind of person this guy was, just in talking to him, and from accounts from people who have worked for him. But did it help me get my situation fixed? A situation that shouldnt have even BEEN a situation? Hell no. Because all he did was pick up his phone, call another casino 'guy', pitch his story...which was backed up by NOTHING...and have the other guy say 'okay' and click a little button that turned me from an active player to an '86'd' player. Just like that. Boom! OUT!

So no, as much as I would love to tell you all that I feel a lot better now that he got fired, I really don't. Because the fact that it was able to get as far as it did tells me there is REALLY something wrong with how they do business in the first place. And I feel like 14 months of being able to go after millions of dollars was stolen away from me by this guy. So yeah...I'm glad they finally figured out what a douchebag this guy is and fired his ass...but no, it doesn't make me feel all that much better. But to all of you who I have made friends with over the years that work at Ceasers...I am delighted for all of you!

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So they finally capped this leaking oil well this week. Its about time. And 'ol dickface Tony Hayward was exiled off to Siberia to run some operation over there. Perfect. Just like out of a movie script. Now...it's been very popular to bash BP and call them every name in the book. However, I am kind of holding back because I have to admit, they have shown a lot of effort in resolving this disaster. They have thrown a LOT of money at the problem, both in the cleanup process and in the compensation of people that have been affected. And with 20b in the bank to deal with the long term effects, and that money being appropriated by a very credible administrator, I think we came out of this as good as we could have possibly hoped for. If you were around when the Exxon Valdex, with their drunken Captain Hazelwood at the helm, ran aground in Alaska and spilled raw crude all over their shores...you will know that it took a full decade before Exxon ever came off a damn penny. The cleanup there was led by the Coast Guard and the EPA. Exxon didnt do shit. To this day I will never put a drop of Exxon gasoline in my car. They only came off of money when a federal judge ordered them to. FUCK EXXON. But BP? They have managed to earn a shred of respect throughout all this. What I DO HOPE comes out of this, is that the government will develop a lot more stringent level of enforcement where the developement of new wells is concerned. It just kills me that a disaster of that magnitude could actually occur. Without a clue as to how to stop it. That was disturbing...I think maybe the most disturbing thing to everyone. I hope things get safer. I hope the companies spend the money to AVOID disasters in the future. I, for one, am willing to give BP a pass on the corporate hatred, for now anyway.

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Okay...this rat has to get back on his wheel and start that thing spinning again. Hope you enjoyed this little deviation from the norm!

Monkey