Day Two…Promise…followed by sadness and despair.

Coming into Day 2 I was anything but over confident as I was around the average but still needing to win some hands to start feeling good about myself and my chances to win the tourney, or at least make a deep run.

My intial draw was short-liven. I had Greg Raymer at my table, and Steve Karp, a great online player who I met down in Aruba…one of Joe Cutler’s buddies. We wouldn’t be there but for about 8 hands before our table broke.

My next table was pretty sick. WSOP current champ Joe Cada, poker legend Barry Greenstein, Miami John Cernuto…and online beast Carter Phillips. Regardless of the lineup I quickly established myself…taking down several pots, some when actually holding something, and some with nothing but well timed bluffs. I have to admit, I was really hitting from about 2 to 5pm…and when that table broke I had over 100k. That was when the buzz was starting….the ‘wow Monkey might actually do this’ buzz. I was feeling confident, I was getting excited…for a brief amount of time I allowed myself to dream about what might actually happen if things kept up like this.


I kept looking up at that first place number. $827,000.and it was causing me to rattle off a lot of thoughts in my mind. One which involved, of course…a life changing score…one that would secure for me (probably) a long-term Main Event backer and some exposure that would secure some facet of endorsement deals.


My buddies were rolling along good as well, with Joe up over 200K and McLean around 200k himself. Tim Burt would bust two hours in…so that was kind of a buzzkill. A lot of goood players were still in. I was watching two, three and then four absolutely horrible beats…which put guys on the rail…and I was feeling a couple of things.

(a) Wow, I know how shitty that guy feels and I feel his pain.

(b) Please, please do NOT let that be me any time soon.


Then our table broke. My third table of the day was a total nightmare. Filled with internet psychopaths. I hadn’t even gotten my chips out of the rack when I looked down at KK in middle position. Raised.and everyone folded. Hmmm. Tight table?


Pffft. Hardly. This was the table from HELL! Guys with big stacks were calling other guys with big stacks just to play ‘Fuck You’ poker with them. Hand strength held little importance. Some of what I was seeing was very discouraging. I just wanted to hover around 100k and find some big hands to snap somebody off then fall back to sleep while they beat up on each other. But that little plan just didn’t come to fruition.


In fact…everything pretty much hit the fan at the end of Level 12. On the last hand, and the BB sitting out…the cutoff raised to 7k (at 1k/2k) and I look down at 99 and can only assume that this guy is trying to scoop the dead blind. So instead of three-betting the guy, or shit, flatting him maybe…I make the stupidest bet ever…raising him from 7k to 32k. Huh? 32k? What the hell is that? I will tell you…a stupid move. But I was simply trying to say…”Um, I know your stealing, I have a real hand….ahem…GOOD NIGHT NOW.”


But then…all of those plans went to hell when he instantly ships all in! What? Shit! And he happens to have me covered by about 10k. Wow. Whats this guy got? Is this just a re-steal. Later, after we had gotten chummier, he claimed KK. Maybe he did. Maybe he didn’t. But nevertheless, I had squandered a 1/3rd of my damn chip stack. But I wasn’t toast yet. I could do this…just snap into short stack ninja mode. Been here before. Patience.


So I go card dead for about 4 orbits. Loose cash game guy raises UTG. Another crazy internet dork calls the 3x raise. I look at AQ suited on the button. No way in hell I am flatting here. I am confident a shove will win because I am either (a) holding the best hand or (b) they will fold due to my table image. I was right. I move in. They fold. And I rake a much needed 18k pot…to start feeling a little better about my stack…and life in general.


Then comes the ugly hand. I pick up those damn QQ’s again. At cutoff. I raise 3x. The button re-raises me another 10k. Jeezuz. Once again…these damn Queens rear their annoying head. I smooth call the 10k. What I should have done was put my stack in this guy’s grill, and let the chips fall where they may. But no….I played them too cautiously. The flop came K-J-7. Great. I check. He moves all in. I fold QQ face up…and before I can even breath a sigh of disgust…this piece of shit, Oregon Duck garb-wearing mothereffer shows me 8-9. Total bluff. Dude. I just sat there. Didn’t say a word. But was glaring at this guy.


“What? Why are you mad at me? It wasn’t meant to be personal dude.” Oh…no? Really? If it wasn’t meant to piss me off or be personal why the fuck did you show me? Asshole. And I made it my secret wish to bust this fucker. So I am sitting there, watching these interent punks raise over and over…with garbage most of the time…and usually get there with whatever they had…and it just got stupid. I was feeling pretty hopeless. I was watching the tables as they were breaking around us.


Please…break us…get me the fuck away from these clowns. And finally…they did. And I scooted over to…oh no! No fucking way! Table 60! Not-so-affectionately known as my personal Bermuda Triangle…where Monkey’s chips go in and never return from. And to make it even more interesting, I happened to be seated in the 5 seat…right next to my buddy Joe Cutler…who was sitting there with over 200k. Well, maybe things can improve here. I sat there blinding down for two orbits……getting nothing.


Then…with around 30k and the blinds at 1500/3000…and in middle position I picked up A5 and decided….”its time to try and pick up some blinds….to wrestle back some semblence of momentum.” I moved all in. Much to my chagrine Justin "Boosted J" Smith goes all in over the top, on the button. Great! I turn to Joe and say “Guess I’m fucked!” Yeah pretty much. He flips over JJ. Great. Well, on the turn I had a double gutshot draw as well as the three aces. Quite a few outs…but do I hit any? No. Why would I?


And just like that…I was out. Done. No $7200 for cashing. No $827,000 for winning. Nothing. Just anguish. I walked around the casino…aimlessly, not even knowing where I was going. I was in a daze I guess. Didn’t want to talk to anyone. Didn’t want to call anyone. I was just miserable. And depressed. And maybe a bit pissed at myself. Why didn’t I just jam the QQ’s? Why did I stick A5 in there? Couldn’t I have just waited? I suppose I could have folded my way to day 3 and prayed that I would come back on Monday and get massacred with the deck…and make a huge comeback, get in the money…and then get after it.


So I stumbled into `Grand Lux’ and took a table out on the rail. The waiter was annoying and pestering me with “how are you today” and all that other nice guy BS that I wasn’t in the mood to listen to. Not his fault, but I just wanted to order something to eat so he would go away. So I am sitting there, gazing off into never never land…when all of sudden, you gotta be kidding me…this guy walks right by me. This guy…who three years ago, fell into a hole with me. Owes me $4000. Whoa. No freaking way. I call out his name. He turns, looks…and comes over to my table. He completely shocked me by telling me he had gone through some bad times…but that he was back up and solvent, and wanted to get right with me. Really? Can I possible have ONE GOOD THING happen to me this year? Really? I guess we’ll find out tomorrow or the next day. I’ll say this…as crappy as this trip was, it sure would make a huge impact on turning it all around if this kid pays me, as he seems sincere about doing.


So for the remainder of the night, not knowing what to do with myself…I simply elected to sit and drown my sorrows in the 1-2 game. My buddies were of no use, as they were in their rooms after bagging chips after day 2, as I would have been. I wasn’t about to bother them. Right now, as I write this I am sitting at this stupid table, stuck about $400, as this Asian chick at our table is hitting every single hand she plays. It is absolutely nuts. If I wasn’t sitting here watching it happen, I would think the shit was rigged. The really super annoying thing about her…is this dork of a boyfriend she has tagging along behind her. She is listening to music on her iPod too, and he is glued to her back…rubbing on her…and just generally looking like a complete man-bitch. I really want to just turn and slap this guy and tell him what a joke he is. And with every hand she wins she gets more and more cocky. Okay. Its official, I despise her. She bought in with $300 like an hour ago. She is now sitting on $1400. Unreal.


That’s about enough. Its 5am. I will sit here and play until I cant see straight. Or fall asleep!


Monkey

**********************************

Its the next day. Monday. I've left my room exactly ZERO times today. Room service is en route right now with my first meal in 24 hours. The mourning is over. But now I have added a chest cold to my list of misery-inspring ailments.

In the Main Event...my buddy McLean Karr went out around 60th...running KdQd into AA. Joe Cutler is still in...at dinner break, with 46 remaining, but he is really short. I need him to win. The whole thing. Why? No...I do NOT have a piece of him. I just want him to win a bunch of money. Trying to get him to go to Reno with me...and thinking about how much more fun that trip would be.

So...wanna hear how my night ended last night? That little Asian chick? Well after getting up to 1600, she started giving them all away. She was terrible. She only got them because she had a horseshoe up her tiny little ass. Well...about the time she managed to plummet to 1200...this hand goes down:

I was in for my THIRD $300 buy in. I took it up to $450 before taking a river blast that knocked me down to $180. Got that back to $275. Here we go:

UTG raises to $5. Monkey here looks down at AA...and makes it $15...being careful not to price chicky-poo out of the hand. She looks at her hand and does what she always does when she sees face cards. Grabs a handful of chips and scatters them all over the table. After the dealer gathered them up, she determined that the amount of her raise was 25. Making it 35 to go. Dude in the 1 seat...for reasons unknown to EVERYONE on the planet but him...and maybe a few hundred thousand bozos who play on Pokerstars...decides to call with his pile of shit hand. This is a $1/$2 game. He called $35. It gets better.

It folds around to me. I am pretty convinced that chickky likes her hand so much that she will never fold it preflop, no matter the price. Maybe for $1000 she would have. I decide to raise it another $75...now making it a bet of $110. Which I think should be at least enough to shake this guy off my stick. She snap calls. Of course. And he tanks...then agonizingly makes the call.

Cue the flop:  J-9-4...rainbow. Nice flop for me. I think. I lead out for $125. Yes...I have left about $40 chips behind...which will never have to worry about being left behind in the event of an all in. Dum Dum GetchaSum snap calls. Doesnt even hesitate. Hmm...which doesnt mean ANYTHING to me at all...not like the guy in the #1 seats all in shove does. Oh no. Set of 9's? Maybe even J's? Can't think he called $110 with 44.

I call. And she finally folds...and folds face up...ACE QUEEN. Off suit. NO Pair, NO draw. Nothing! Amazing. He turns over? Jack Nine. Offsuit. Yep. I just sat there looking at him...."dude...really? Come on man. You called $110 with J9 off?" "Well I already had $35 in there...and it was only $75 more to call."

You following? He called THIRTY FIVE with J9 off...and another ....ONLY.....SEVENTY FIVE....with J9. And was defending his play. I just sat there...quietly as the dealer failed to do a litttle runner runner magic for me. So instead of turning my  $275 into close to $850 and getting the hell outa there feeling okay with life...I instead walked (slinked) out the door....on another very long walk to Bally's. And to top it off, it was raining, and cold, about 45 degrees. Just like winter time in Seattle. I was, I can't lie...really feeling depressed.

I am watching CSI: MIAMI...and why the producers of this show can't figure out what everyone I know has...that David Caruso is completely unbearable to watch...is beyond me. Every thing about that guy is annoying. His stupid whispering voice, his squinty eyes...and his tough-guy bravado is a total joke. I think that show would be really good, if it weren't for him. I start trying to watch the show...get interested, and then as soon as he enters a scene...thats IT...I change the channel. UghhhhhhhH!!

Okay. I'm done.

Monkey