DEAR FAA: Please...take away Delta's wings!!!!

Yeah yeah, I know…it’s been close to a week since I blogged. And I guess the content has been piling up. And now…here I sit, in seat 6C…on a Delta flight out of Gulfport, by way of Memphis…BOSE tightly secured around my ears and iPod blaring…as I watch the face of this chick sitting two seats over…her mouth moving like one of those sets of teeth that you wind up and watch vibrate all over your desk. Seated in between us is this nice black guy…in his mid-30’s, who has become her victim. Its funny just sitting here not hearing a word (thankfully) she’s saying and watching him just nodding.

{ a big EF YOU to Delta...we are on an Airbus 320...which was designed as a spacious airplane by French engineers...but Delta took the shell and decided they were going to get 141 seats on this bitch...so your knees are practically stuffed up your left nostril}



“Yep, Uh huh…right. Oh yes. Sure. Uh huh. Mmm. I see.” Oh good gawd…during the pause in between songs, I just caught her for 15 seconds. “now let me tell you…are you ready? I am going to tell you something….” Oh…thank you AC/DC….hurry up with the lead in and get to the good part. (the loud part!) Before the plane took off she was yakking on her phone...and she has this weird tick...in between sentences she makes this sound, totally freaked me out. Tourrettes? Not sure? But if I had to live with her...I would go insane.



The last 36 hours has been another Delta nightmare. The family trip wrapped up on Sunday. I have to say, it was a great trip. A lot of you know very little about me. Aside from what you see at the poker table, and occasionally the 2 to 5 minute conversations we might have away from the table during a break.

Well I’ve allowed something to happen over the last 15 years that I found out this past week just how much I regret it. The first is getting back in touch with my 96 year old Grandmother, aside from just a letter every Christmas…which is more than my little sister and other brother, and Mother have done. So when we all packed up (except for my Brother and his new, ahem…interesting baby mama, who left Seattle to return to SF Bay area on Tuesday) and drove over to Wenatchee for the afternoon…it made for a pleasant drive through the snowy mountains of Washington.

My Brother and I...and his three boys, all from different women. Weird that they all kind of look the same. He must possess the dominant gene, eh?

We had a nice 3-hour visit with Grandma Magnuson. At one point I took it upon myself to dust all her shelves, which contain nothing but art…some of it, original early works from glassblower Dale Chihuly, who is her nephew. You are familiar with his work if you have ever visited the Bellagio, and while checking in, looked up at the ceiling in the lobby.  I was inspired by the site of cobwebs, and her inability to reach them…and probably just my raging A.D.H.D. Yep, my sister has done a clinical analysis on my mental state and concluded that this is my ailment, one that is requiring immediate medical attention. And yes, she IS qualified to make this diagnosis!



It was really nice to catch up with her. And my sister Janae enjoyed it too, as she never really had any kind of relationship with her, being 10 years younger than me…and her Father (the devil step father to me, Mark Magnuson) and my Mother divorcing when she was very young. My Grandma continues to be very active in art…as she has been for over 75 years. I sent her a box of long pine needles, collected from my front yard in Atlanta, about 5 years ago. She makes this really cool, well I don’t know what they are called, but they obviously take hours and hours to make. She gave Cheryl and I one for our wedding gift. It was very thoughtful, one of those gifts you get that you know you will never use for anything…but still treasure, because of the effort and thought that went into it. Then she gave Janae a painting that she had done, and Janae’s happiness was evident. As we left, my Grandma was almost tearful, and we all talked about the visit for the whole 3 hour drive home. Made me realized a lot about missed opportunities at relationships.

[Me, my sister Janae, and my amazing Grandmother, Marie, on our visit to see her in Wenatchee last week]


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The next day, we awoke at 8am, and made our way on another 3 hour journey. Cheryl and I left for Aberdeen to see my Father, who is incarcerated, and has been now for 12 years. He has 15 months or so left before he gets released. Without getting too personal, he made a bad decision regarding drinking and driving and is paying the price. In retrospect, it probably saved his life, going to jail. On the way there we picked up my brother, Jimmmy, who is a year older than me. Jimmy has Downs Syndrome. When we were all younger, I would see him a lot more often, and he was often times a real pain in the ass. Then there was always the whole ‘having to deal with societys stigmatizing’ everytime we went somewhere with him. That honestly never really bothered me that much. I’m just not that shallow. But it does get irritating, and make you want to bash peoples’ faces in sometimes. Well, I hadn’t seen Jimmy in years and I admit, I was nervous as hell about seeing him. As was Squirrel. Well, GPS dealt us a bad blow…and the directions ended up including a street that no longer existed, so picking him up was delayed over an hour…and he let us know about it. He had been up since THREE AM waiting for us, and to go see our Dad. Think he was excited? I felt like crap, but I couldn’t help it!



Well, he would turn out to be a dream. Cheryl and him hit it off right away. One thing about Cheryl, she is one of the most incredible human beings I know when it comes to just ‘dealing’ with human situations. She was so incredible all day. And by the end of the day he would give her the biggest hug I’ve ever seen out of him. We were forced to buy him a pair of jeans due to the jails' stupid dress code. He only wears sweats. He almost refused to put them on…but finally relented. He is a big boy, and they barely fit…but they would make do for one day. So when we finally arrive at the jail, they freak out because there is a pocket on the leg. What? Come on! The last time Cheryl and I came to visit my Dad, she had to change her outfit TWICE…because her sweater revealed the slightest amount of cleavage…the other because her sweater had a little hood on it. These people are a joke. And the JCPenney 7 miles down the road must be in business with them. So she told me to go in, and she took Jimmy down the road to find something else to wear. She lucked out…found a khaki pair of pants his size…way too long, but good around the waist, and when he came marching into the visitation area, he looked very proud to be out of the jeans. When he saw my father his eyes just lit up…and he delivered the biggest hug. It provided a lot of joy. We sat and played SORRY! Together for 3 hours. The sheer joy he would experience when putting one of us back to ‘START’ was so great. And I could tell how happy my father was that we were all able to be together.

[Me and my brother Jimmy, who has just changed out of his 'attractive' khaki pants we bought him back into his 'not so attractive' sweat pants]



While this was all going on my mother was hosting a jewelry party at her house that she was dying for us to get back for, so we could meet all her friends. I think she just wanted to show off my wife! So when we tried to leave about 5…to make it back by 8, we were stopped by the prison guards. Something had gone wrong with their head count at 3pm. They were now doing a manual count on the whole prison. So essentially, I had become a prisoner. We couldn’t leave until they were done. WTF? Great…oh well. So finally at 6pm they let us leave. Jimmy had been promised KFC earlier, his favorite…so that was another required stop. Then when we got him home we spent 15 minutes with him in his apartment, discovering all the various things he either needed or wanted, and making a note of it. We got home around 10pm and some of her friends were still there, so another mission accomplished. We talked about our day, and did so in a way that would hopefully inspire my mother to get a little involved in Jimmy’s life again. She has kind of done the same thing I have the last 15 years with Jimmy…nothing. And it sucks. Because he is so easy, and so hungry for love, from anyone really. And my Mom has lots of time to give it, and with all of us kids out of the house and living all over the country, she has a son living 25 minutes from her, who would love to see her.



So the next day, we bought him (or my mother did) 2 pair of shoes, a new boombox for his room that plays both CD’s and cassettes (hard to find these days, as cassettes are almost obsolete) so he could play his 10 cassette collection that includes Dolly, Kenny and Johnny! We also got him a Hannah Montana CD and DVD…as he is infatuated with her and has posters all over his walls. Very cute. And finally, my mom hemmed his pants for him, and we bought him a belt large enough to hold them up!



So when Cheryl and I drove down to his apartment Saturday night and walked in he was like a kid on Christmas. It felt good to see him happy. The tough part was telling him who it was from, and asking him if he might want to see, and get to know, his mother again. Of course he said yes. And now I just hope she follows up and actually starts spending time with him, or it may have just been all for naught. I do know that Cheryl and I will stay in touch with him…sending him letters, and pictures, and hopefully money if I can go win some! We explained to him where we live, and that we had to fly 2500 miles. We didn’t want to hurt his feelings by seeing him two days in a row and then disappearing on him. He understood. Cheryl hated leaving him.

Jimmy has maybe switched his crush from Hannah Montana to my wife, Squirrel. I understand brother, but she's mine, dammit!

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This woman is still spouting. Apparently she is a pharmaceutical rep. I think she almost has the guy next to me trained to be a rep…I expect to see him on my flight home, gainfully employed by this broad’s company.



Squirrel and I left Sunday. It was a sad departure for my Mom…having all of us now gone, and going back to being alone with her cats. She bought me a new sweatsuit and a pair of shoes, for my birthday (February 16th). We made our plane with time to spare. Then the hell began.



The flight into Atlanta was fine. Then…as we were about to pull into our gate…A5…something went wrong. The gate became unavailable. Looked at my watch. Okay, no big deal, our flight to Gulfport doesn’t leave for 45 minutes. Then 15 minutes went by. Started getting nervous. Hmmm….come on. WTF. Pilot and flight attendants start trying to reassure us that our connecting flights all know our situation. I know better, and tell Squirrel “they are only telling us this to prevent a mass panic among the passengers…they NEVER hold flights, for any reason.” She told me I was being cynical. Okay, dear. We finally get off the plane…with 15 minutes to spare. We run like hell to our gate, and with 11 minutes before the plane is to leave breathe a sigh of relief as we attempt to board the plane.



Oh no you don’t! A gate agent..who’s name might have been M.Gracietta…tells us, “I’m sorry sir this flight is CLOSED.” Say what lady? “Uh, we have a boarding pass, the flight doesn’t leave for 11 minutes…and I just watched you let a passenger on. What are you talking about!???” She tells us the flight is oversold. BULLSHIT! Delta always oversells its flights. That’s nothing new. What this bitch did was start giving away seats 15 or 20 minutes before the flight left, and with us sitting on the tarmac waiting for a gate. Cheryl tried to protest that we had been ‘promised’ that our planes crew had made them aware of our plight, and would hold the plane. She got no reaction to this. I was fuming, and about to tear this lady’s head off. But I also knew how easy it is to get arrested at the Atlanta airport…so I took the high road. I was pretty much in my little place of knowing there wasn’t a fucking thing I could do about it. No one at Delta cares. They never do. They are the biggest collection of assholes to ever work for a large company. And now, they just swallowed Northwest, so they are just bigger, more bitter and less likely to give a fuck. And to top it off, they just RAISED their baggage fee…when it would seem to be the right move is to either LOWER the fee or do away with it altogether.

[what would be nice is a picture here of this lady, M.Gracietta...with a baseball bat striking her across her smug face...unfortunately, no such photo exists]



Well, we would end up getting a free night at the Day’s Inn on Phoenix Boulevard in south Atlanta (also called the ‘hood’) as we awaited a flight out to Gulfport the following morning. As we were catching the shuttle, we asked the driver, “how many of these people have been screwed over by the airline like we just got?” The driver’s response? ALL OF THEM! Wow! We are talking hundreds of people everyday getting hosed by Delta’s (and I’m sure a lot of other airlines, too) inability to deal with an operational flaw. I now understand 100% why nearly every airline is in or near bankruptcy. They are being run by circus clowns. What makes it even more enjoyable, is that you pay good money to be treated like shit. This Ms. Gracietta bitch just stared back at me with these cold, steely eyes that said, quite clearly “I don’t give a shit about you, or the other 1000 passengers just like you. I’ve heard every story, and I don’t care. If I screwed up, I don’t care either. I hate you, I hate my job, I hate my life.”



In retrospect, I almost felt sorry for her. Almost, except that the thought of seeing her chained to a tree while school kids threw rocks at her was much more appealing to my sense of adventure!



Predictably, the hotel was a dump. Squirrel slept 3 hours. I didn’t sleep at all. Because I decided to play some poker, on Pokerstars. Got 3rd in a $12/180 for $250 and then played a $4 Omaha hi/lo tourney with 496 of the greatest Omaha players ever. Okay, maybe the worst. And the torture happens. I end up getting deep. As I am chatting with my buddy McLean Karr…who has been killing online, and just got done winning the Sunday 2nd Chance on Pokerstars, and discussing a summer house in Vegas…I go from chipleader with 27 left…to taking 3 or 4 of the most ridiculous suckout beats to guys who were in hands I had no clue how they even played to start with, and before I knew it, I was out…23rd, for a whopping $21. Nice. Then 30 minutes later it was time to leave for the airport.

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We are 20 minutes from landing. Just got the ‘turn off your electronic device’ announcement…and my battery is getting low anyway. This blog entry is going to be way too long, again. But whatever. I have been getting pelted by a bunch of you clamouring for something, anything…and while this may be tremendously boring for most of you, it actually helped me get my mind and head straight as I prepare to go play this first tourney at the Venetian at noon and get my life back on track. I guess I will follow directions and turn this thing off and finish when I get a chance.



The host never came through for us at Venetian. Big shock. Their hotel-side to the operation sucks balls. Just go read Kai Landry’s blog if you don’t believe me! He’ll tell you all about Venetian and their wonderful hotel clerks. Idiots. So Tim Burt hustled us a pretty good deal at Bally’s, which is a nice little 12 to 15 block walk from Venetian. But hell, I can use the exercise. And once Joe Cutler, McLean, and maybe Kai show up…I can figure out what I am going to do from there. But for now, I am rooming with Tim. Him and I have never spent any real quality time together away from poker, so it should be a good experience. Tim is a cool dude, and plays some great poker. He does have cats though, and is involved in that Mafia Wars shit on Facebook…so the jury is still out on that guy!!! Halfway kidding there, I think! Should be a lot of my good buddies out here, I’m excited, but also a bit apprehensive, knowing what’s at stake. Okay…catch up later!



MONKEY

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I almost forgot, in my haste to mention the ONE thing about the airlines that REALLY pisses me off the most. The last three flights/trips I have taken, I am seeing the same thing over and over. Our troops are being completely FUCKED OVER by the airlines. Getting stuck in airports without flights, constantly. They recieve their orders a lot of the time at the last minute and forced to buy last minute tickets that sometimes cost them a fortune. Then sometimes they are have to fly standby...and NEVER get flights. I have heard more horror stories from troops, and it makes me sick! These guys make NOTHING in the way of a living salary, and yet they break their backs getting in physical condition so that they can go to a place where people HATE America and want to do nothing but destroy us, and our way of life. These guys truly risk their lives every time they wake up in the morning. They have given up the pursuit of riches to protect us and our way of life. So when it comes to getting them to their destination, DAMMIT..make it happen! Either the airlines need to reclassifiy them as a #1 priority, or the government needs to get involved. Its PATHETIC to see these guys waiting and waiting to get on flights! To the troops, I say THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!!!!

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Okay it's Wednesday morning. We are at Bally's. Our room smells like smoke. But we have a nice view. The internet cost $15 a day. So I am using my Verizon card...which is slow, and won't upload these damn pictures. Whatever.

Day 1 was a heartbreaker. A real heartbreaker. Let me start this with this little snippet, as I continue to get 'hater' messages from people who seem to think I am under the impression that I am this phenomenal player. I do NOT think I am a 'GREAT' poker player. In fact...sometimes, I don't even think I am very good at all. But what I am, is someone who is tremendously patient, makes very good reads against my opponent, and will wait for, and find situations to win pots that will allow me to get myself into position to win tournaments. From a pure standpoint of playing 'good poker' and making moves, stealing pots with bluffs...I am very average.

I'm kind of tired of guys posting shit that I think I am the greatest. I don't. But tournaments with good structures give you the opportunity to play smart and win. The majority of players, good ones included, do not have the discipline to play from start to finish without committing critical errors. My game requires that I limit my errors and capitalize on the opportunities presented to me to win big pots. Then play good pot control poker. This has been a successful formula for me now for 3 years at least. As the years go by, I add little things here and there, refining my game and becoming a better player. I hope to BE a great player someday...but for now, I will rely on what I have managed to create up til now and try and keep picking up a victory every so often.

So...back to Day 1. My plane landed at 11:10, a full 15 minutes ahead of schedule. Getting my luggage took longer than expected, and the taxi lane was sickening. By the time I got to Bally's and got my stuff in the room it was 1:15. Tim and I took a cab over to Venetian and we got in around the middle of Level 2. No big deal. First big hand I play, I flop a set of 10's on an all heart board...simply called this guys bet...wanting to see the turn, which was a K of hearts...horrible, making a flush and/or a straight. It got checked to the river...he had AQ...no heart, but a damn straight. Nice start. I would hover around 9k for about 3 levels (12k starting stack)...then lost a huge chunk when I tried to bluff the 'unbluffable old guy' that we are all familiar with.

I sat there going back and forth between 3500 and 7000 until Level 6. It was excruciating...but I was being patient. Folding hands like KJh, A10off, 66...against raises behind me. Then right before the 2nd break...and holding 6800...the crazy old guy raises me huge at cutoff and I have A9s in the BB. Probably should have got it in there...I told him I thought he either had KJ or 44. It was a toss up. Fold and its not a bad fold, shove and its not a bad shove. I finally folded face up. And he showed me 33. Yeah. Close on my prediction. Whatever.

We came back for Level 7 and it started. My run. AQ and I double up against 88. AK and I double up against 99. Then AK and I took out Jason Stern and his AQ. Then with 35k and an average stack...and with us down to 60 players (from 231) I was starting to feel like this trip was going to start out great! Which I really, really need right now.

My table breaks and I moved to a new one. I immediately discover who the overwhelming donkey is at the table, guy in the 7 seat. I won't go into detail on 4 of the eyebrow-raising plays he made...but they were horrible. He knocked out two very good players, one who had AK on a flopped Ace board and the other with QQ (and him having K6, having called a preflop raise) and I was feeling that eerie feeling when I just know he's going to deal me some awful beat. It would HAVE to be him, right?

Well, we get to Level 10. The level of DOOM at Venetian whenever I fail to make a Final Table here. I win a couple pots. Nice. Then I raise with AK. Donkeyboy calls. Great. Flop comes 10-7-5. He leads out big. Fuck. Whatever. I fold face up. He shows me Q-J offsuit and smirks. Sigh.

I watch him pull that shit on two other players. And my disdain for this guy is growing...but I am NOT going to get sucked into his bullshit. This is too important. So when I get AQ I raise 3x...and get called by, who else? Dipshit in seat 7. The flop comes Q-9-3...one spade. He bets into me again. I raise 3times his bet. And does a quick shove...which he did against another guy earlier then showed bluff. Whatever, I wasn't folding against this moron. I called, and his head whips to his right....which told me I KNEW I caught him. And I did. He flips over K8s. You heard me. Called the preflop raise with that shit. Bet out, with air...and shoved over my re-raise!

So what happens? Come on, you know! No! He did NOT hit a King. He instead goes runner runner spades. I about shit. I was about to be sitting on 72,000 chips 6 minutes from dinner break, with the average 38k. We call that, GOOD SHAPE! Instead...I was OUT of the effing tournament. Again, in Level 10. Again...to a fucking assclown. I just wandered off to an empty table and moped/decompressed for awhile, suffering from sleep deprivation, suffering from the suckout...not knowing what to do with myself next. Go get some sleep? Play the 7pm donkfest? Play a SNG? I was so pissed. Several guys walked over to offer their condolensces...the whole table wanted that guy out...and were just as mad when he sucked out. Sometimes I really hate this game.

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So I decide to skip the nightly donk contest and play a SNG. Took the last seat on a $80 SNG...which pays 2 winners. A pretty shitty value play really. And it would end up being a damn marathon. When we finished the blinds were 1000/2000. Yeah! No kidding. We started with 2k. I started good, then lost almost all my chips holding 78 on a 774 board. Girl had 44. Ooops. But climbed back in...then got the chiplead...then lost 75% of my stack after raising with 22 and getting priced in against two all ins. Brick! Up against JJ and AK. Looked like another flameout. But made another big comeback...then when we got 3 handed I was chipleader again. Long story short, I won the SNG finally...and pocketed $325 after tipping out. So with the tourney buy in, and that buy in, I only lost about $150 on the day. I can live with that. No other SNG's managed to start up, so I grabbed a bite to eat at Noodle Asia and headed back to Bally's, where I passed out before I even got my computer started up! A nice 8 hours of sleep has me feeling a LOT better! Today is a $350 again...really hope I either go out in Level 1 or 2...or make it to the end of the day with a shitload of chips. This whole playing 7 to 10 hours and not cashing really sucks.

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I got a reader comment from a dealer asking about how I decide who I tip on the side. I got the impression he felt slighted by me at one time or another. Its a tough question...and there have been times when I KNEW I was forgetting about someone. And for that, I truly apologize. It is not intentional. As far as WHO I decide to tip? Well, its not always who dealt me BIG hands...but yeah, those dealers ARE going to get tipped. It could be a dealer that I just know real well, who always does a great job while dealing to me. And happened to NOT cooler me during that tourney. There are also times when I will leave a token 3% tip at the payout window...then tip like green chips ($25) to a handful of dealers on the side...maybe 5 to 10 dealers. Now officially, they are supposed to take these from players. They are supposed to turn in every tip they get. As are the floor guys. Its a stupid rule. But its their rule, not one that I am breaking. So they can either turn them in or not. I don't care. I just want them to know that I appreciate their efforts, thats all. If a dealer wants to leave an anonymous comment on here calling me out, saying I am a liar, that I don't tip on the side...well, I don't know what to tell ya, I have no reason to lie to you guys about such trivial shit. If I didn't tip on the side, I wouldn't bother to write about it. Sometimes, the comments some of you assholes make just amaze me, at the pure ignorance of the statements.

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Some of the comments I have been getting on here are suggesting that I have been a victim of Karma...for all the 'bullshit' I have brought to others. Hmmm. I have no idea what that means. First of all, you have to be a pretty big asshole to ever express glee that another person has been victimized. So just on that basis alone, I shouldn't even really worry about your comments, since you have to be a pretty miserable human being to begin with. I mean, if the person I couldn't stand the most had something traumatic happen to him/her, I would be the first to tell them "Hey, I know we don't always see eye to eye, and I am just not real crazy about you...but I am really sorry to see what happened to you...and I hope you recover from it quickly." That is kind of a normal, human way of dealing with people. But these pricks who are taking great pleasure in my plight? Wow...I don't know... I guess I just have to not worry about it. It just bothers me I guess that people can be so dark.

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It's 10:45am. I plan on being on time for today's tourney. There is just too many bad players making terrible plays early, giving away chips...to allow myself to miss out on that. Plus the Venetian is offering a free buffet from 11am to 1pm that is usually pretty nice...so I might want to get some food into my stomach today, might be a long day. Not good to play on an empty stomach.

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The line on the Super Bowl is moving a lot. Guess it has to do with the injury to Dwight Freeney, who is a huge factor in Sunday's game. Getting pressure on Drew Brees had GOT to be a major element in this game. If the Colts can't pressure Drew, it could be a long day for the boys from INDY. I personally love the Saints in this game. I am in a really good spot with the pools I run. I have, with a Colts win...the chance to finish 2nd in the NFL Playoff Pool...good for $1500. And in the $25 Survivor Pool...its down to me and two others, who I'm guessing will take INDY...so I will take the Saints in that one...which basically serves as a hedge. Point spread doesnt matter in either one...which leads me to think I will walk up to the cage and lay down about a $750 bet on the Saints WITH the points. So if things go just right...I could have a very big day. As in...Saints either win, or lose by less than 4 or 5 or whatever the line ends up being. I pretty much can't lose no matter what happens! And then, in my SUPER BOWL SQUARES...wow, I have already filled up three $25 boards...with a 4th already half full...probably end up filling 5 of those. And the $100 board only has 8 squares remaining..so that one is as good as filled. Squirrel and I have a total of 4 in that...sure would like to win the 4th quarter!!! Yeah its only good for $3600!!!  There is no tourney here on Sunday...and I am glad. Sunday will be ALL ABOUT watching the Super Bowl. I guess I will start looking for a good party to attend. I would LOVE to attend the party at the Bellagio that Bobby Baldwin hosts...if anyone has any connections to that!

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Last month, I ended up having the 2nd most hits ever. Missed breaking the record by only 70 hits. In a month where I only played those little IP events...well, and got robbed, which is always good for some hits...it was pretty impressive. Again, I do NOT get paid to blog, or get anything for a lot of hits...so its not about $$$. It just makes me less inclined to quit blogging when bad things happen to me, or bad/mean things are said. Enough of you say things that make me realize that writing this blog is serving a purpose, and I just want to let you people know that I really appreciate you taking an interest in my life and poker experiences, whether they be good or bad. I think that is about it for this entry....which I KNOW...is incredibly long...but now we are totally caught up with each other! Now I am going to go and try and win me a tournament! I will start live updating from here on out.

MONKEY