4th Venetian Cash...going for 2nd Final Table this week.....

Yesterday was a good day, a very, very good day.

It started in a peculiar fashion. We had to move hotels, yet again, the night before...moving this time from the Venetian, which by the way has the BEST rooms I've stayed in while in Vegas..the MOST comfortable beds! Hated leaving there. We moved to the MGM this time...a very out-of-date monolith buried at the south end of the strip and away from everything poker. Luckily I have my car out here.

Woke up at 11:15am. Another long, deep night of sleep. Have actually been getting a LOT of sleep this summer. Got a very good email from the Floor guy who was working the tourney the night Ceaser's decided not to let me continue in the tourney. It basically said that he wrote up his 'end of the night report' and said that 'words were exchanged between two players who were both told to cool it, that things were actually initiated by the other player. No penalty was handed out. No other incident ensued.' He then went on to say that he was NEVER called or contacted by the Poker Room Manager, Jim Pedulla the next day to provide his version of events. Basically it was his opinion that Pedulla orchestrated a 'whack job' on me out of spite. He asked that I not use his name, that he feared for his job.

Well, thats really too bad isnt it? I mean, I fear for my tournament life, not because I fear the other players...but because some Napoleonistic Power Hungry Nobody reads my blog here and decides "I'm gonna get that Monkey asshole!", putting his professional integrity completely at risk as well as a very likely civil lawsuit by me. Lets see, at this point in the game I count $16,224 he has potentially cost me (money NOT won by winning the tourney on Saturday) coupled with the potential 9 million or so I won't be winning if I am not able to get back into the Rio after the twit had me 86'd from all Harrah's properties. This one could be juicy. And now a floor guy has to sweat his job? For what? Being honest? Letting me know that I got set up? Sounds like wrongful termination to me. Pretty sure this guy could get on with another quality poker room, a place with quality management, a place like....say the Venetian perhaps. They have a history of hiring people with a clue.

So I spent an hour and a half yesterday morning writing emails to all of the top WSOP guys, Jack Effel, Howard Greenbaum and Jeffery Pollack. A strange thing happened. Pollack, who WAS on my friends list on Facebook, suddenly and quite bizarely managed to 'disappear' from the list sometime between Sunday and Monday. Hmmmm. Interesting. Called the Gaming Commission. They weren't able to offer any assistance. It basically boils down to it being private property and them being able to deny service to anyone for whatever reason they want. They were nice though, and sounded pretty sympathetic to my issues.

Here is where it gets almost hilarious. Double Standard Land is alive and taking passengers below the required height limits. And despite already knowing/hearing these stories I have had several dealers calling me up to tell me "Hey Monkey, this is so effed up...did you hear about the guy who did this, that and the other thing? And he didn't get 86'd!??? Its BS!" Well, yes, I heard about Paul "Eskimo" Clarks little antics, where he attacked another player..thats right...ATTACKED, physically...another player...and was given a 24 hour penalty from the property. Then another player, who in this years WSOP has won a bracelet, had a dealer try to muck his hand while he was still preparing to act...and smashed the dealers hand (this has now made it through the rumor mill to reach the top of the mountain, wherein the dealer's hand was BROKEN...okay, the dealer's hand was NOT broken!) then verbally assaulted the dealer, threatening to KILL him, was subsequently also given a 24 hour 86 penalty. But hey...good 'ol Monkey here simply asks a guy who has been taunting and tormenting me for the last hour of the tourney, when things have concluded, and we are away from the tournament area if he would "like to step outside, off the property, to discuss whatever it was that he seemed to have a problem with me about" and what happens? I get a permanent 86 placed on me for THREATENING ANOTHER PLAYER. I find that pretty freaking laughable.

There is nothing else I can do I don't think. I think everything pretty much speaks for itself. I have nothing to hide and I have nothing to feel defensive about. If this guy's bosses want this kind of man/mutant running their poker operation, then Harrah's deserves whatever misery this guy brings upon them. I know it upsets my new wife and my backer that I have managed to get myself 86'd from a casino that happens to put on a lot of tourneys, that I may never get to win a bracelet, that its a bit embarrassing to my new wife because her family hates to see 'upsetting news' regarding their little girls' husband...but I know in my heart that I did nothing to bring on this punishment. So I will go on playing at Venetian and all the other tournaments that I can play in...playing to the best of my ability, and winning as often as I can.

I do have a backup plan! If none of you read Kai Landry's hilarious staking opportunity column/blog entry today, please do, it is once again...Kai-liscious. I plan to get my hands on hopefully 3 to 5% of Kai's action. I feel Kai could make a serious run in that event. I also have bought a couple of shares of Bryan Lanoix, who I also find to be completely capable. There are a couple more players I may try to get it on, especially if I have a 'special day' today when we go back to the Venetian for Day 2. I am also sitting here waiting for another of Kai's inspirational pre-game pep talks to put me in the right frame of mind heading back today!

Suppose we can talk poker now for a little while. Took Sunday off to sit and melt at the pool at Venetian. Joe Cutler was going to join me but decided instead to play the 1k at Venetian. The temperature was around 110 degrees, and there pool offered no relief, it was...in a word, AFRICA HOT. I finally went downstairs, played the $120 7pm tourney...that had 383 players. Along with "Gondola Mike." That still hasn't happened, but we are anxiously awaiting that wonderful day when we get to watch him take that magical boat ride, alone ...except for the singing Gondola Captain! I will spare you the gory details. The bottom line is...Mike went out around 32nd. I ended up cashing...24th (27 got paid) for a whopping $134. Thats right...I made $14. Nice payout structure. I am SO hopeful that Venetian will fix these payout structures for the next event. Because these ones are damn depressing.

Joe would end up getting knocked out of his 1k, in the money but cashing for the minimum. He wasn't happy about it. But at least he is cashing a lot on this summer.

The following day I would play the $340 at Venetian. My first table was a pretty good table. I would take a beat though and get down to 3500 before I started a steady climb back into contention. When my table broke I was up to 26k with the average around 18k. Then get moved to a table with perhaps the WORST poker player I have ever seen. You will see a picture of this bozo later...a HUGE Las Vegas Barn feature will be coming soon. It takes me a LONG time to put together....so you will have to wait. Basically, this guy would get it in with ATC, for any price. And his poker logic was completely back ass-wards. One of his more brilliant plays was this one:

Player raises UTG. He has QQ. Johnny Brainfart calls the raise (holding K9s) another player re-raises all in. The original player folds. This is where I hear two very funny statements. (a) "I HAVE to call you" funny because he was in for 3600...and 'has' to call 14,000! and (b)saying to the first raiser, "if you had called I could have folded." Huh? Yeah, you heard that right...not the standard, typical (especially in cash game players who like to put way too much emphasis on the 'priced in' theology) line of 'if you would have called I would have had to call too'. Nope not this clown. So he calls, and he loses. That one. On another, he would raise with A6 offsuit. Another player, with KK...moves all in on him...for, again, a TON...he calls. He makes a full house. Of course he does. Seems every dipshit out here runs like that in the first 10 levels of every one of these events. Taking out one good player after another. Treating their chips like they are pieces of candy to toss around to trick-or-treaters. Then when the dust clears...and you go walking around looking for them around Level 15...they have managed to mystically vanish. This fool would suffer the same fate. I of course wouldn't make it long enough to enjoy his demise.

Naw. Every time I got a hand I thought was good enough to raise with he would grab a clump of red chips and hurl them into the field. FUCK! And I would again fold a hand like 88, A10 suited, AQ offsuit. Hands that had I called I would have most likely doubled up with. Instead I have to get it in with Ad9d and run into Ah4h and JJ. I would flop a flush draw, and pick upa shared wheel draw...but then brick it all and I was out at 9pm with 180 of 915 players remaining. It sucked. During the dinner break, sitting on a short stack and looking to 'switch things up' I walked over to Swarovski with Joe and decided to make the plunge and buy the gorgeous Gorilla that I saw the other day, a $180 masterpiece that is this years Endangered Species Collection...which meant I had to JOIN a special club (for $55) to 'allow' me to buy the Gorilla. Sheeesh. I also picked up an $80 Rooster for Rooster...brought it to him later. He loved it. I was going to get Squirrel another one to replace the one I got her two years ago, that is broken, but they were out of it. This Gorilla will be taken care of, left in his special foam box! I will bring him out ONLY when we are in the money.

After busting out, I went over and played a $130 SNG. Before this started I got a message from Graham Pugh, who is the brother of the late Brandon Pugh...who was my best friend growing up as a kid in Seattle. "Brandy" and I had a stupid falling out back in 1995...over the most ridiculous thing, when I went down to Miami to watch our Huskies upset the Hurricanes in the Orange Bowl to end their 56 game home winning streak. I had to be at work that Monday morning and had to drive home to Atlanta, a 12 hour trek, and it meant I wasnt able to give him a ride to the airport Sunday night. He took it really hard, which was pathetic. I tried for three years to make up with him. He was stubborn. Well, he would end up getting brain cancer 5 years ago, and finally passed away. I found out about it two years ago. It really made me sad. Then I find out his Mother AND Father both passed away right after that. Its just Graham now, and his wife and two children. He recently found me on Facebook and we have been swapping emails ever since. He was here for the weekend. I was looking forward to meeting him after all these years...but was somewhat nervous. Well, he came walking up to my SNG table before we started. Looked exactly the same as when he was 14. Just older. We sat and talked for about half an hour. Wow. Where do the years go? It was great to catch up with him. Then we started the SNG....with him watching, I flat called an early raise with KK. I let him and his wife see the hand. The flop came 678. I checked. The first guy moves all in. The next guy moves all in. Oh well, I call. They are both open ended, one with 35, the other with 99. They both miss and I take them both out. It was kind of cool, and with that they left for their hotel. I would end up winning the SNG for $600, which would have taken me two levels to do in the tourney I just busted out of. I would lose my next two SNGs....the first, after my QQ ran into KK early...no big deal, don't mind losing early, good for the EV! But on the next I got up a nice 6500 chip stack, got four handed and BLEW it. Should never have raised with A9...ran into AK...doubled him up...and it was all downhill from there, going out 4th and blowing what should have been a 2 for 3 night of SNGs, a $700 profit on the day...and a good feeling going to bed. Oh well, live and learn, right?

I was on my 2nd consecutive night of NOT drinking anything. The cocktail waitress was like, "Monkey, whats wrong with you? Your not any fun! Is everything okay?" Sure...everything's great. Just drying out. Feeling mellow. No big deal. Whoa...now I have an obligation to entertain the waitresses?

Alright this is getting kind of long. So...back to yesterday. Finished up all my texts and emails to those I needed to get in touch with. Called the Venetian to save me a seat, ooops, they were ALREADY into alternates. Oh well. I will get whatever I get. No big deal. Then I go drop off my and Mike's laundry. I get to Venetian at 1:30. I dont get to my table until 1:50. 8 minutes before the end of Level 3 and the first 15 minute break. Another HUGE field at Venetian. If they would just fix the payout structure and lighten up on the 'table talk' rule this would be the greatest tournament on the PLANET!

I lose a bunch of chips early, thinking I have a guy beat...finding out otherwise when he goes over the top of my re-raise with an all in. Shit. Sitting on only 6k and thinking this could be an early day for me, I pick up JJ. This guy throws out a 1k chip but doesnt say 'raise' so its a 400 call. The guy behind him, from Denmark, and genuinely a really nice guy, who has been crushing EVERY flop..and is now sitting on over 50k, also calls. I go all in for 6k. Why not? First guy folds "I'm glad I made a mistake now, I guess"...and the second guy asks me "AK?" "No, I do NOT have AK, I would like you to call, and I promise I won't get mad if you suck out." Somehow the dealer doesnt kill us for talking. "You promise you wont get mad? I have a middle pair." "I swear I won't get mad, I expect you to hit no matter what you have anyway, your bulletproof!" So he calls, turns over 77 and promptly flops K7K. I love it. I am gathering my stuff, about to go shake his hand...when a JACK hits the river and the whole table goes "OOHHHHHH!!!!!" Stay here Monkey! And he actually is very gracious. Good guy. And a nice double up for me.

I don't make many chips after that for the longest time. I get moved to a new table. Pretty weak table. No big stacks. There would be NO big stacks for over 7 levels. I would get my first big double up with 10-10. Kind of weird because I was talking to Mark (floorguy) about my horrible 10-10 hand two weeks ago when I flopped a set and lost to that Brazillian bozo when I look down at 10's. Trippy. Guy behind me raises all buy 4k of his 16k stack. I move all in. I have 22k. He calls, turns over AJ. I flop 10-3-3! I think I might win this one! I do. Nice! Then I sit there for a long time and don't win anything. Get blinded down to 32k, with the average at 65k.

Thats when the loosest (maybe stupidest) player on the table raises to 6500 (from 1k/2k) UTG. I look down at AA. Nice. I make it 14,500 to go. I have a total of 48k. Comes back around to him and he SHOVES ALL IN. Um...I call. He has A10 offsuit. Nice hand sir. AA holds, and now I am finally at the average.

Then I go through a period of picking up hands like QQ/JJ/AK/AQ/AJ and raising while getting no action. We are getting closer and closer to the money. I am now thinking less about cashing and more about winning. I have put on the iPod, am jamming out...have started drinking lemon drops...having fun....thinking about a big score. And also exploiting the bubble and raising/stealing every so often.

We make the money. Mark G again does the microphonial announcements regarding making the money and also the Official In The Money Red Snapper Celebration with Monkey...and I find 10 partakers out of the 81 "in the money" field. I pick up the tip. We get one more round, again my tip (getting costly!!!) and then I shut the snappers down. We have only half an hour to play before the night ends and I want to sober up before making the 3 mile drive to pick up our laundry and return to the MGM.

Its the last hand of the night. I am sitting on about 220k with the average 215k. I pick up 88. I raise from 10k to 30k. "Three X!" Thats a whole other story...we (Mike, Joe and I) have had a lot of fun clowning other people, and ourselves at times...by announcing the amount of X we or others are raising. Its kind of fun when at 100/200 some jackass raises like 1200 and we get to shout out..."SIX X!" or someone goes all in for like 20K into 1/2k blinds and we get to shout out "TEN X A.I.!!!" "THREE POINT SEVEN FIVE X!" is a good one. Or if someone raises too much for a hand we would like to play...we simply say "Mmmm thats too much X sir, I fold." A folded hand is sometimes done with a "Zero X!" so back to this hand...I raise THREE X....with 88 and the button goes all in for 79,000, or uh...RR 8X! Then the guy in the BB also goes all in, and just happens to have the same amount. Wow, so lets see here, my 30x, plus 160x, another 12k in the pot...200k+ in the pot...and 50k to call. Awfully tough to fold there! I call. I am up against AJ and 1010. OUCH! Hey dealer! Give me an 8! I FLOP AN 8! And it holds! And start stacking a shit load of chips! Over 400k.

Then I do something I have been doing a lot of this summer. When a male dealer (not a chick becuase they tend to take it the wrong way!) throws me a huge suckout for a huge pot...I run over behind them and give them a lick! You heard me! A lick! Either on their neck or their ear! And also stamp their name in my brain for tipping purposes later on. Well, this guy, Jeremy looked like he had seen a ghost after I did this. To use the word TRAUMATIZED would be an understatement. Sometimes, you think guys are just 'kind of pretending' to be freaked out, so you don't give it a whole lot of concern...but OH NO! This dude was genuinely freaked out! UH OH...better run some quick damage control here before it gets out of hand. Mark was there, and watching...and knows I've been doing this, that it was harmless, that I am not a little gaybird or anything...but still, he could tell the kid was freaking out and insisted I go apologize to him. So I did. Profusely. I hope he is okay with things. I wanted to take his picture to feature him as the ULTIMATE DEALER OF THE DAY, but he relented. Oh well, I tried. Should I win this today, I will STILL honor him with a juicy tip.

AHHHHHH...and here it is! I asked KAI for another tasty pre-game pep talk...and here, on my cell phone it is...though chopped up into four seperate, out of order entries that I will attempt to reassemble and share with everyone. He is currently at the airport about to fly out here to play the Main Event, which aparantly I will NOT be playing in. Oh well, here in its attempted entirety is todays PEP TALK FROM KAI:

(I had expressed interest in buying some of his shares for the Main Event)
"Heh hey heh! For you a palty 7% vig, so one share for you @$107. But you can't afford it because you're going to lose today, tomorrow, and everyday for the rest of your life, COREY!!! Better take up alcoholism and start living in the past you douchebag, because your future looks darker than inside of Oprah's asshole. At night. Have I told you to go eat a turd today? No? Really? Thats a shame, because you probably couldn't afford one anyway. See that person on your left? He hates you. Deeply. So does everyone else. It's a good thing you can't hear what they're thinking about you because you'd probably start crying. End your life. Now. I'd continue but I have to get on this plane to LV to play that damn main event seeing how I wont be trespassing on Harrah's property by stepping foot on it. How was that? You're welcome. No, wait, you're not, just ask Padullah. Just ran into Mark Wilds here at the airport. He's so nice. He says he hates you. Severely. Wow. He said something about wanting to bash your goddamn skull in with a hammer...that's not him...weird. Are you dead yet? Squirrel would make a lovely widow. All I'm saying is...consider suicide. More air for the rest of us."

And that folks, is my Kai Landry pre-game pep talk! Good stuff! Very Lombardi-like, wouldn't you say? Kyle Milam attempted the same move the other day...mmmm it was a good attempt, one good line about being a Wal-Mart greeter, but Kai just has a special gift that cannot be ignored!

Meanwhile, two other things, congrats to my quasi-buddy Brandon Cantu for winning a bracelet the other day, and congrats to Allie Prescott who made his second final table this WSOP...taking 8th yesterday in the STUD 8 or better. He just texted me asking if I was going to watch LIV BOX TODAY!??? WHAT? You gotta be kidding me? I have to MISS watching LIV box? To try and win 74k? That sucks! Wow, maybe they will videotape it! Well, hope to be back with some awesome news later! Catch ya back here soon!

MONKEY